March 11, 2016

WWE Roadblock preview?

Ummmmm. So there is this thing going on Saturday. It's mostly called New Japan Pro Wrestling's New Japan Cup Finals, but this Roadblock shit is going on. A ppv with so little build up that it sounds amazing. BTW....I'm currently drunk watching Agents Of Shield and it doesn't make sense because I'm hardly paying attention. Smackdown was really good (at least the first hour) and Lucha Underground was BRUTAL.
How can one beat the Wrestlemania Dreams? They can't.....but one can try to be a good storyteller. I was. At the bar; talking to my friend Patrick. He's been watching all the PPVS with Ryan and I for the last 6 months and meets me once a week to discuss strictly WWE garbage. About 50 pre-law students came into the bar for a "get together "/trivia party and I watched Patrick  do about 50/50  on the questions ad I giggled and talked about dumb shit. When Patrick abandoned me...I was soon joined by Ida. I'm guessing she's a 38 year old CNA mom that has chatted with me a few times and is obviously completely patient of my childlike drunk nature (she comes to the bar I'm usually rambling about bullshit when miss comes around). Tonight ended with a mutual friend talking about MMA and I feel stupid because I can talk about what Dave Meltzer and Bryan Alvarez thought about stuff. I'm quite obviously a pathetic mark and oddly more knowledgeable about stuff that I don't care about than people who do care.
   As I text my bestie about Unknown Hinson in Coos Bay, I ramble on about the beauty that is Brock Lesnar and how he's scary legit and one of the greatest performers of our era, in any sport, or fake sport. I keep trying to get bigger and I just keep getting the same but "more fit." I'm confused.

The New Day vs Some concoction of The League Of Nations for the WWE Tag Team Championship
I'm guessing this will actually be rad because there are only four matches booked for this card. I'm so confused and excited at the same time. Get your fill of heel New apparently they have pitched the most epic Wrestlemania entrance ever (text me for spoilers?).

The Revival (Dash and Dawson) vs Enzo Emore and Colin Cassidy for the NXT Tag Team Championship
How you doing? I'm getting drunk and oddly hoping/dreading when the bartender flirts with me. Is this tip, rebound, "you're always here", or real based? Not quite sure, but here's hoping Enzo makes the main roster soon as I miss Road Dogg adjacent in my life every week.

Bray Wyatt vs Brock Lesnar
A feud based on weird promos that never paid off!  It would be epic if Bray cheated to win. Epic. He's a evil cult leadet. If he won clean, I'd be PISSED!

Triple H vs Dean Ambrose for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Hmmmm. So yeah.....this is happening instead of making epic beautiful Wrastlemanianess. Did you guys notice Triple H's obsession with Sympathy For The Devil and the interesting Motorhead cover on the last album?  Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of Ponchos and refined nerdy taste.

Best or worst preview ever? I'm gonna run 5 Miles tomorrow. Grand total will be 15 miles since Monday. Just noticed I typed 5 Niles (before I edited) and got super excited for Frasier hilarity. David Hyde Pierce seems like a good guy that would wanna hang out and talk the intricacies of Brock Lesnar, and not look at me like an idiot. He should start posting on SCW.

I'm done. I pray for no spelling errors. Is Naito gonna win the Cup? So early in the year? Naito vs Okada seems like the obvious main event for January.....based on the last few years and not wanting Naito to be New Japan's The Miz.  (A whole paragraph after I said I was done.....drunken tomfoolery).


Roth style high kick.

I keep thinking about those "cattle blocks" on roads in the middle of nowhere where hoofs can't walk over weird metal rivet fence things or they'll get stuck. That's what Roadblock reminds me off. Is that weird?

1 comment:

  1. This has been an epic Romanmania build on SCW Online. A goofball poem in iambic tentrameter, a fantasy booking fever-dream, a(nother) podcast recorded during a rainy commute, and this latest entry: a last-call-soaked preview. Poncho, thanks for the proverbial cherry, cuz our website is now officially a Wrestletalk Sundae. Congrats on generally making sense, and for not making any egregious spelling errors, though that never stops Rusty's posts from kicking extreme ass. I will now be trying to respond to some of your points, as I get my own buzz on with some IPAs I picked up on my way home...

    I'll have to wait to see if your 'BRUTAL' rating for the 7th ep of LU is meant to be a good or a bad thing. Feel free not to clue me in, I'm enjoying being in the dark about it for now. John Morrison did a fun interview on Uproxx today you dudes should read.

    I'm d/l-ing smackdown now. The latest release from PWG is called Lemmy, and I kinda want to wait to watch it with you dudes, since Ponch is such a Motorhead mark (and rightly so), but I'll probably get impatient and watch it myself anyway. (Like, in 5 minutes.) The next one's called Bowie. For me, PWG is always unmissable, but these shows, solely by virtue of their titles, will be making me misty from the get-go.

    I looked back at the NJ Cup stats from the past, and Goto has been to the finals almost every year since 2009, and won maybe half of them. It's like he's an early-season wiz, who often gets shut out before the "playoffs". It's hard for one to make sports analogies when one does not follow sports. I only had a couple years (2002-2004) of die-hard Red Sox fandom, that's good enough for me.

    My final point that I want to make in response to this thoughtful post about pro-wrestling is really less of an apropos comment and more of a confession which is candidly between us fellas and that is that I watch truth be told an average of 10 episodes of Frasier every week and behind closed doors when only a single other person and two dogs are listening I have been known to refer to that TV show simply as Niles and while I do not often volunteer this information please do not misunderstand because I am not ashamed by it whatsoever.

    Oh, and right? Brock Lesnar knocks the oft-prissy Universe on its AAASSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!