October 26, 2013

Poncho Man's Hell In The Cell Preview

So, my work banned me from websites that you have to sign into...I don't know why...somebody did something stupid obviously...I'm going to type this on the computer...email myself...and hopefully post it via my phone. The lengths I go to for SCW and your PPV Preview....

Housekeeping:HBShizzle will always be my hero. I love it. He's so good and charismatic at everything. He says stupid stuff and it immediately gets over. I watched up to Evolve 22 and a few DGUSA shows after that. I have some things to say...but I'm finding it hard to find the motivation to write about it...My extracurricular lately has been every Clash Of The Champions event in order. Highlights: Rick Steiner talking to his hand, who happens to be named Alex. (I told The Marshall it was like Little Jimmy years before Little Jimmy). Lex Luger's inept commentary. Michael P.S. Hayes working as a face. I'm still in the NWA days...so I can't wait til it turned into WCW and Vader and Cactus Jack show up.

Curtis Axel vs Big E Langston for the Intercontinental Championship.
I like this. I hope the "Five Count" can get over. So much better than "Feed Me More." This could actually be a good entertaining match, neither of these guys suck. Guess what also! The Miz isn't even announced for this show or his Pre-Show match. That means he'll be one of those commentators at that table with Josh Matthews, or he'll be in a lame skit.....or maybe he'll be following some big birds that play rock n roll in The Jungle Book

AJ Lee vs Brie Bella for the Divas Championship
Can somebody just call Ms. Del Rey and either help these girls...or just help Paige accept her inner Luna Vachon. AJ just needs some believable competition. Or just hire Mickie back. I hear she's available...and Batista doesn't work there anymore, but I guess Cena does....

#Team Beauty and The Beast vs. The Shield vs The Usos for the Tag Team Championship
DO YOU LIKE IT!?! I named them! I just mark out for Goldust every time I see him, giggle a little, and feel blessed to be a wrestling fan. This match has some face paint. I'm so glad that since they seem to only be able to have like 3 and a half storylines (Divas are a half storyline) at one time in WWE that the 3rd most important is completely unpredictable. No clue why the Usos were added, but this will be fast paced and crazy. I shall enjoy it.

CM Punk vs Ryback and Paul Heyman HELL IN A CELL
What a year does in the career of Ryback. This is like a weird mirror image of last year. I hope Brad Maddox gives CM Punk a nut shot....for no reason. I'm glad that Rusty's favorite Brad Maddox seems to be in a better more important position in the company than Ryback does, especially since Ryback was red hot a year ago (for comparison...DBD is white hot). This is the middle of the wrestling year guys....let's get ready for the 6 month slide to Wrasslemania.

Los Matadores vs The Real Americans
Cesaro is on a PPV! YAY! Torito! Swings! Uncle Zeb! Cesaro immediately gets them over basically as evil babyfaces! This is just classic. A match that makes sense...solely based on character work.

John Cena vs ADR for the WCW Championship
Deja Vu? This would be really funny if it was a squash, going either way really. Whatever.

DBD vs Randy Orton for the WWE Championship HELL IN A CELL
So I've been growing my beard for quite awhile now, waiting till DBD wins the title for more than 24 hours...and then I'll be safe to shave it. I'm willing to keep it for another six months, or just cut it off after Halloween (debating on whether Bray Wyatt or Aquaman would be easier) depending on the end of this match. HBShizzle being involved seems like a big swerve to me. I just have no idea what will or could happen in this match...and that deserves a big YES! YES! YES!

Well, enjoy the show tomorrow. I'm listening to Brother Love on the Austin show right now. I already have tickets to Smackdown (we're behind the announcers I think about 6 to 8 rows. ) I'll make sure to yell real loud so you can hear my funny stuff. Okay, let's all get together at the coast. Now that the Marshall has a job with weird hours it will probably be harder. Let's figure something out anyway....

Poncho Out

October 22, 2013

MMS: Molten Lava

I can't believe it's October and this is only the third MMS I've made this year.  Slacker!

October 10, 2013

PWG 2003-2006 Brief Review...and some blathering about rock music....

I lay in bed at 12:43 in the morning of  October 10th.  I’m watching NJPW Destruction 2013. This is what I’ve decided is the “best day ever.” I think I wrote about how my positivity (the computer says that positivity isn’t a word) brought about my “best day ever” comments. So this should be old hat to the SCW crowd.

Tonight, The Lowmen will open for Orange Goblin. Little background. Orange Goblin I first heard around 1998. They started a few years earlier, but the guy who owned the record store/head shop in Albany introduced me and a friend to them on their album “Time Traveling Blues” in 1998. I keep saying that this is my dream from when I was 16, opening for Orange Goblin. The lead singer is about 6 foot 4 with long hair and a beard. He’s almost like a mix of Luke Harper and Ozzy Osbourne. They play what I can only describe as psychedelic biker metal. To me…this is basically rock and roll.

Rock and Roll and Wrestling….sounds like a formula Vince McMahon realized worked well in the 80s.

ANYWAY…I’m super stoked and thought I would share.

So to continue with my “best day ever,” I thought I’d write a little review of Pro Wrestling Guerilla 2003-2006, because one of the best things ever is talking about wrestling…

Now I know Rusty has never watched PWG, but I know the Marshall and I talk about it sometimes and he mentioned to me earlier today that he wanted a write up….so here I go!!!!

PWG is a promotion based out of LA started by a group of wrestlers that include Quiksilver, Disco Machine, Super Dragon, and Excalibur. None of these guys are very famous outside of PWG except maybe Super Dragon who had a long run in CZW and was involved in the CZW/ROH feud (which I’ve recommended before). Their shows are around 2 to 3 hours, and I think are mostly known on the internets for having very irreverent commentary. The commentary is taped after events and is  completely random and hilarious. It’s mostly Excalibur and Disco Machine and sometimes retired wrestler Taro doing the commentary (Taro was a masked Bull character that would press a button on his belly/outfit that would basically make him super powerful). These guys make tons of obscure and not obscure wrestling references and maybe my favorite part is that Taro is a big drunk who created the drinking game of every time there is an arm drag, you drink. I follow this rule no matter what I’m drinking during whatever wrestling I’m watching.

I think PWG has quite cut down on the amount of shows they have every year. It’s taken me a little over a year to get through probably 55 shows, and that’s fast forwarding through a lot of stuff I didn’t care about. I think they do more like 10 to 12 events a year now compared to the 20 they did in the early days (I wonder if this has to do with a lot of talent being eaten up by WWE or that TNA talent can’t work for indies anymore).

The Good: PWG is like a who’s who of independent wrestlers of the 2000s. DBD, Samoa Joe, Colt Cabana, Petey Williams, Sabin and Shelley, Matt Sydal (Evan Bourne), Jack Evans, Claudio Castignoli, Chris Hero, CM Punk (on some early shows), AJ Styles, Frankie Kazarian (the first champ), Chris Daniels, Necro Butcher, Cima, Pac (Adrian Neville), Homicide, Tyler Black (Seth Rollins), Jimmy Jacobs, Davey Richards, Roderick Strong, El Generico, and Kevin Steen are all either major players or make cameos in the first three years.

El Generico and Kevin Steen are massive stand outs. Mostly because a lot of the other guys were already in TNA at the time and having killer matches on national tv. The commentators always talk about how Generico is the “Tito Santana of PWG.” The guy that always has awesome matches with whoever.

The homegrown talent that I like is Quicksilver (who teams with El Generico as “Cape Fear”) and Human Tornado (who teamed with El Generico as “Two Skinny Black Guys). Both are just solid indie guys who you love to love. Human Tornado is a skinny “black pimp” that would fit right in at Chikara events…and might be more loveable than Sugar Dunkerton. Yes, I said it.

It’s just really really awesome to see tons and tons of matches of guys, that you know are incredible wrestlers, on a stage where there are storylines, but the shows are once or twice a month instead of weekly. Just imagine if WWE was able to tell compelling stories only based on their PPVS and maybe 5 or 6 Clash Of The Champions every year…that’s PWG.

The Battle Of Los Angeles Tournaments are badass. It’s a who’s who of indie wrestlers, in a tournament. I know The Marshall loves tournaments.

The Bad: PWG really gets going when “The Dynasty” forms in 2006. Joey Ryan, Scorpio Sky, Chris Bosh (not the Miami Heat guy), and Scott Lost form a group that runs roughshod over PWG for all of 2006. Joey Ryan (who you may or may not know from TNA fame) holds the championship of PWG through all of 2006 and cheats, pussies out, or just throws on the headlock through all his matches. This is fantastic booking, and interesting story…..but I don’t really like any of these guys wrestling style. Scorpio Sky is a passable independent high flyer. Joey Ryan is a pretty good character/talker…I’m just not THAT impressed, and Bosh and Lost are terrible. But, other than hating Kevin Steen for awhile…these are the only truly EVIL people PWG has. Needless to say…I watch a lot of their promos, and fast forward through the matches…

The Ugly: Super Dragon. He’s the most “hard core” wrestler on the roster (he is involved in a few “Guerilla Warfare matches…which are just Hardcore matches with a cool name). He doesn’t talk. He’s in an all black costume and he’s kinda pudgy. He tags with Kevin Steen, Davey Richards, and B-Boy and wins the tag championships each time…..and he’s boring. I don’t buy into Super Dragon at all. Yes….he could kick my ass…Yes…he’s intimidating…but I feel nothing when I see him. The internet mark always says Triple H booked himself into the main event for years, and I wonder if that is Super Dragon (who as I said, owns part of the company). He’s a top guy, who can take quite the beating, but his character is completely based on the fact that he’s booked as a main event badass.

Home Grown Talent: Ronin, Disco Machine, Top Gun Talwar, Bosh and Lost, B-Boy, etc. Holy crap do I get bored. I think I told Marshall once that I tried watching a more recent PWG event and B-Boy came on and I wanted to slit my wrists. So basically what I’m saying is that I don’t like any of the people that were trained to be PWG wrestlers.

So I wrote most of this last night and can’t really think of much else to say….ask me questions if you want to know more. I think some of my favorite matches are DBD vs. Claudio Castignoli where there is a 10 minute headlock. Cabana has great matches with just about everybody (because they’re funny). This might also be the only place you can see AJ Styles vs. DBD.

Anyways….that’s all I can think of to say….hope all is well and I’m sure you’ll get random wrestling texts soon.

Poncho Out.

October 06, 2013

Poncho Man's Battleground Preview

Well shit. We're only a few hours away from Battleground. Like last month...this will probably be short and sweet. Or I'm still bitter that nobody found my last post as funny as I did. Then I realized that Rusty probably has no idea who Rob Conway is. I cried myself to sleep the night I posted that.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow
The Miz-Pre Show has some different faces this time around. I was trying to think if I've ever had many positive things to say about Ziggles. He was interesting when he had AJ and Big E. Now, he shows off and just comes off smarmy to me. Now somebody that doesn't NEED a heater is Sandow. He's awesome even when he loses every match. 

Here's my rant though. Sandow is awesome because he's good at his character. His persona is charming because he does it well....BUT both of these guys are exactly the same. I don't know if you'll agree with me but they probably came in and went to OVW right around the same time..and were both "stand outs" because they were able to and did what the man wants in a "prototypical WWE Superstar." They're all just Randy Orton to varying degrees. I don't like the wrestling style of the "prototypical WWE Superstar"...it makes you nothing but a good hand.....

Santino Marella & Great Khali vs The Real Americans
Remember when Santino was in that Elimination Chamber match. That was cool. Remember when Great Khali was taken out of the Punjabi Prison match. Remember when Antonio Cesaro lifted Khali. Remember when Uncle Zeb cut a promo on Santino and Khali about how they aren't from the US. Oh wait...that will happen tonight. Go Cesaro Go.

AJ Lee vs. Brie Bella for the Diva's Championship
Some sweet Diva action. Total Divas is on hiatus so I don't care.

Kofi Kingston vs Bray Wyatt
I apparently missed this whole storyline. I hope Kingston doesn't turn heel by joining Wyatt. I'm being very very patient with the Wyatt Family. They make me happy and look really cool. Somebody tell Kofi to stop sitting down and I might like him.

Curtis Axel vs R-Truth for the Intercontinental Championship
I can't decide if Curtis Axel is the "prototypical WWE Superstar" or not. I'm happy that he actually does lots of tributes to his dad without being his dad. I completely missed out on R-Truth being anything other than a mid-carder. I liked him in TNA....which is the weirdest comment I've ever made. When was the last time R-Truth was even on a PPV. Yay for Battleground!

Cody Rhodes and Goldust vs The Shield
Wooooo boy. This I am excited for. Do I even need to explain why? Goldust looks awesome. AND  Hopefully! Maybe! Maybe Please!?! Cody vs Goldust at Wrestlemania!?! WEEEEE....this is good stuff. Dusty's face palm was rad! I heard Stephanie was pissed...but jesus...that was one of the best parts. Can't bury the Rhodes family completely...or they'll look stupid. Whatever....GOLDUST RULES!!! GOLDUST FOR LIFE!!!!

Del Rio vs Van Dam for the WCW Championship
This might be more interesting than we're thinking. All sorts of things could happen.

This has nothing to do with this match..but my friend and I were coming up with before and after Halloween costumes. EXAMPLE: Shaquille O'Neal Patrick Harris, Willie Nelson Mandela.
One of my favorites was Rob (or Jean-Claude) Van Dam Dirty Apes

CM Punk vs Ryback
At least Ryback has something to do that isn't beating up Marchie Archie. Good story...bad opponent....better than a kick in the pants....

DBD vs Randy Orton for the WWE Championship.
Once again....I'm just along for the ride.

So now there is just a half hour til the The Miz Pre-Show. Cutting it close. I had a busy weekend at work doing fun stuff...so I banged this shit out. Oh...and I watched the Triple H documentary last night. It was kinda dumb. He doesn't have a good story. "I liked wrestling as a kid, got into body building, and I'm smart enough to learn everything about wrestling." Lots of good clips though...and everybody loves him apparently. I watched it...I'm glad I own it...but not that interesting....

Enjoy the show boys. Poncho Out

October 03, 2013


Thought you guys might want to know,  but there was a tournament in Puerto Rico today. In the end, The Poncho Man was crowned the New NWA:SCW Intercontinational World Wide 24/7 Hard Stomach Badass Dude World Champion.

This is in response to finding out that Rob Conway is the NWA World Champion.

Feel free to challenge me, but I hope you realize it will be futile. Poncho Man: Jean Jacket Vest In The World.

Ravage Out.

October 02, 2013

RR 10.2.2013