December 18, 2018

Q Marshall Blogathon Classic 2018

It feels like it's been a pretty good year for wrestling.

I say that with an casual air, but now as I'm beginning to collect my thoughts on the subject, I'm realizing that it's been an amazing year.  I'm thinking about my favorite matches, my favorite experiences, my favorite characters, and also just some shit that went down which seems significant.  In previous year-end episodes, I've sorted these concerns into "best-of" categories, and who knows, maybe by the end of writing the post, I'll have started doing that, but here at the outset I'm planning on slapping together a freeform list of personal favorites and cultural notables.

That being said, the most pure silly fun I've had all year, wrestling or otherwise, was watching Wrestlemania in Eugene.  With Poncho next to me, and Rusty live on our phones, we were cracking jokes the whole time, and I'm pretty sure I haven't yelled or laughed so much since.  Moments that come to mind: when Nakamura knocked AJ in the nuts, I yelled "take that motherfucker" as loud as I could, over and over and over again, even as I watched the chicken particles in my teeth grossly spray at the screen with each repeated "eff" sound.  Also, when DBD won his tag match or whatever it was, I spilled ass over teakettle backward yelling "Jag Thindh" which made Poncho laugh his ass off.  The live commentary we did over the Rousey debut was a ppv highlight, and of course "Hello, Paige here" has been permanently etched into the membrane of our collective nightmare web.  More than anything, I remember you guys cracking me up consistently throughout the show.  I used to shrug off watching Mania socially, but now I look forward to always being in touch with you guys when it's on, even if it means getting the Network one month per year.

Years ago, I wrote a year-end review which opined that Zack Ryder's YouTube show would have a longer-lasting legacy than CM Punk's pipebomb.  At this point, I wouldn't draw a direct line between 'Z True Hollywood Story' and 'Being the Elite', but neither would I draw a direct line between 'The Art of Wrestling' and a weekly podcast of a fat Alabaman moneylender prodding Tony Schiavonne into making self-deprecating dick jokes for the exact duration of a Monday Night Nitro.  I guess my point is that when it's freshly recognized that someone is doing something groundbreaking, there's no way to tell what's going to come next.  There's been a ton of buzz in that past 6 weeks or so about Cody and the Bucks starting their own promotion with funding from the dude who owns the Jacksonville Jaguars, which is a football team (I had to look it up).  Whether this "promotion" takes the shape of doing seasonal supershows/conventions, or seeking TV distribution, or establishing a touring brand, or some combination, who knows.  Maybe it will all be ashes come February, but with the success of All In, and the proven marketability of its main players (reference: Hot Topic), it doesn't feel like too great a leap of faith to see these guys surpass yet another perceived ceiling of precedence.

There are two great wrestling moments which I'd like to etch in stone this year.  Firstly, the reunion of the Golden Lovers.  It happened in January, and I wouldn't say that it's really paid off, but there was/is such a deep well of potential, along with a rich history to appreciate.  Omega's singles run got in the way (not a bad thing), and Ibushi also had a great singles story this year, setting him up to approach the upmost level of New Japan stardom.  But when they reunited against adversity after a long and troubled schism, it was wildly exciting because not only did they represent a kind of progressively ambiguous duo, which makes them awesome goodguys to me, but they could also be counted on to provide innovative wrestling entertainment in the heavyweight tag division, which is probably the weakest link in the current-day wrestle-scape.  With the rest of their year in focus, now seeing that they only had a handful of tag matches, and didn't even compete in the G1 Tag League, I'm disappointed that they didn't meet the potential I saw in them eleven months ago.  At least together they didn't... individually they each had amazing years... but that moment in January when they hugged... it was perfect.

The second great wrestling moment, and this is somewhat less of a "moment", even though its announcement could be attributed to a specific time and place, but the moment was a long time coming, and then it took a long time to get to where that moment felt rightfully situated, and that is the return to the ring of my favorite wrestler of all-time, Daniel Bryan.  He came back to a forgettable Mania tag match (I think Shane was involved, but I don't remember if they were on the same team or on opposite sides), followed by a prolonged feud with the since-canned Big Cass.  Talk about a lame return.  But with hindsight, it seems fine, because now he's heading into 2019 as the heel champion of Smackdown, his bad-guy temperament being all the more plausible with those preceding months of lackluster programs.  DBD is back on top!

So, while Bryan vs Lesnar might be my favorite WWE match of 2018 (off the top of my head), the rest of my top ten matches are probably all New Japan (with maybe a sprinkle from NXT Takeovers).  And this is indicative of my viewing habits throughout 2018.  Continuing the trend of previous year-end posts, this year's will reflect a further narrowing scope, as now I've even stopped following PWG, I only tuned in for a few of the bigger ROH shows, haven't seen a lick of TNA or Lucha Underground, only select segments of Raw/Smackdown here and there, infrequent check-ins with NXT, and very few other items.  But what I do still watch, I'm emotionally invested (as evidenced by my drawerful of crisply unworn New Japan graphic tees).  Even so, I couldn't think of a singular match that would stand out as my favorite.  The G1 was my favorite wrestling event, but that's like cheating because it's a freakin hundred matches, of course it's awesome.  There were standout matches in that for sure, Ishii-Ibushi, Ishii-Omega, Okada-Tanahashi, Sabre-Sanada, and the list goes on.  I suppose the easy answer for MOTY would be the 2/3 falls Omega-Okada from Dominion when Kenny won the title, but we had some great Okada defenses in the earlier months, including another classic against Tanahashi.  Jericho and Suzuki continued to cement their legacies with some truly great performances.  Gargano and Ciampa might've had the most heated rivalry with the best extended series of matches.  I dunno, there isn't an individual match which stands out to me as being a major personal favorite the way Okada-Shibata did last year, but there was a ton of great material to enjoy... gun to my head I'd go with Omega-Okada.  But Tanahashi-Ibushi from the G1 Finals is a major contender... I dunno I just love wrestling man!  I'm just along for the ride man!  I dunno I don't remember man!  We cool man?

We so cool.

*picture unrelated

September 16, 2018

Baby In A Well

Truncated preview for the ppv today. Frankie the dog and I did a ten mile run this morning. She's napping....I kinda want to. But there is an Alex Wright vs Chris Jericho match on. 

The New Day vs Rusev Day on the Preshow for the Smackdown Tag Team Championship
I wish The New Day would just do commentary for all the shows. They are delightful. I wish Rusev Day had been allowed to get over. I wish things.

Dolph and Drew vs Seth and Dean for the Raw Tag Team Championship
I wonder if I'm excited by this. I have no idea. I think I often sleep through Raw.

Charlotte Flair vs Becky Lynch for the Smackdown Women's Championship
Becky is really good at making you care about her. And her dressed as an old crone in the front row was neat. I give her a thumbs up.

Jeff Hardy vs Randy Orton HELL IN A CELL!!
Two wrastlers I've never really cared about. In a cell. Probably gonna have some big spot in it.

Ronda Rousey vs Alexa Bliss for the Raw Women's Championship
Alexa is always a highlight on any wrestling show. Thumbs up here too.

Roman Reigns vs Braun Strowman for the Universal Championship....HELL IN A CELL!!!!
Strowman....on his way to being The Big Show. This will be a fascinating look at booking in 2018.

AJ Styles vs Samoa Joe for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Did you guys see that bedtime story? Samoa Joe is amazing. Even when he's in some bizarre creeper story where he's trying to become a polygamist with another man's wife. This gets...a Thumbs Up.

Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella Bryan vs The Miz and Maryse
Moms. And reality shows. Compostible toilets. Leaving moms at truck stops. French bulldogs. Nekkid pregnancy photos. If King Maxel is already 1-0....isn't it time for Birdie and Monroe Skye to have some matches. Anyway, this obviously isn't my dream match, but I'm really not worried about it. This will probably be fun.

Anybody start the Mae Young Classic this year? Alex Wright's dance was the best. Woo!

August 09, 2018

Deep Wrestling Thoughts....With Poncho

The G1 Climax is coming to a close. Also is profanities and middle fingers in NJPW. It's hilarious that the language was probably more crude in the WWF Attitude Era, but a lack of Tonga Loa being a potty mouth will really hurt his entertainment factor. I've been thinking about how crude the Attitude Era was....but I love puns and double entendres. That stuff was smart.

Really too bad about this Aleister Black injury right before Takeover. The story had built so well. Not that Gargano and Ciampa can ever disappoint. Anybody see that weird Velveteen Dream/EC3 promo this week? It was weird. What is the deal with Keith Lee? Big dude that has a catchphrase? It's almost as bad as just saying something like "Bro" and getting signed by WWE. Oh.... wait.

Feelings on Don't Drink The Water by Dave Matthews Band? If it wasn't Dave Matthews would it be good?

Is Austin Aries the greatest TNA/Impact Champion of all time? He got a good match out of a concussed Moose. Moose. Moose.

Anybody see the introduction of all the Mae Young Ladies on Facebook? I MARKED out for Meiko Satamura in a WWE ring. That Mike Quackenbush does a good job making you care about stuff. My least favorite was somebody called "Jinny," but enjoyed Allysin Kay's (Impact's Sienna) crazy mug.

Miz and Mrs. The worst. When Marty and Sarah say they love Miz and Mrs but hate Total Bellas...I feel bad. I'll still watch every episide.

What was the last ROH show anybody watched? Lethal is the champ? I guess I'll watch All In this month. It will probably be awesome.

I'm current on MLW. Tom Lawlor getting the big push. I'm a fan of him...and laugh that Simon Gotch is his cronie. PCO was in the Battle Riot. Which was awesome and totally on YouTube for free. I guess Bruce Prichard helped book it.

Drew Gulak is challenging for the Cruiserweight Title at SummerSlam. He's the best. I "watch" 205 Live.

I think I'm done.

June 23, 2018

G1 Climax 28 Preview/Update

 The light brown writing reflects opinions and standings at the approximate halfway mark of the tournament: after nights 9 and 10 for A and Blocks, respectively.

One thing I've enjoyed a lot this year has been the english commentary on every show- it's like a dream come true.  Even the team is a pleasant surprise- Kevin Kelly and Rocky Romero, who've worked together on a 3-man team with Don Callis, make a fantastic 2-man team, maybe even my favorite english commentary team for New Japan yet.  They've literally talked me into watching every full show, instead of skipping past the non-tournament matches, as I've done in the past couple years, since NJPW changed the format to not just be all G1 matches every night.

On the whole, the drama's been good in the A Block, great in the B Block.  There are a few guys who are already out of contention, more who are on that verge, but the drama at the top is hot in both blocks.  It's been a lot of fun, but the best is yet to come.  (Except for Ibushi- Ishii, there's no topping that!)

Last year I wrote a pretty funny preamble to my G1 Climax preview, so you guys should just re-read that.  Now let's take a look at this year's competitors!

(listed in order from Wikipedia)


Michael Elgin
What Elgin may have lost in stateside support, he has gained in swole.  He's been booked really strong lately.  He beat Omega and Suzuki last year, but lost to Juice and Tama Tonga.  I'd expect a similar, solid performance this year, and hopefully nobody leaks any more texts of him burying dudes.

So, he's never been one of my favorites to root for, but Big Mike has somehow consistently delivered for the past 6 years as the wrestler who makes the best drawings.  Maybe it's the muscular thighs, maybe it's the way he roots himself when he's hitting those big power moves (with those thighs... I guess it's the thighs).  I haven't rooted for him to win except against Jay White, but Elgin is the MVP of the wrestling sketchbook drawing project...again.  A winner on a whole other level.  Current: 2 wins, 3 losses.

King of Darkness Evil
Evil is a perfect example of how the G1 can be great for establishing guys.  Since singles matches are basically considered a special attraction for the rest of the year, being able to see everybody have 9 different singles matches within a month can give a great insight into their character, in-ring style, and storytelling ability.  I thought this dude was a joke in 2016, but he had a great G1 last year which made me a fan, even taking a win over Okada in a match that was a highlight of the tournament.  This year he's entering as one of my favorites to watch in the G1, and the only LIJ member in A Block.  I doubt he stands a chance to win, but he'll be representing LIJ strong.

As Evil co-leads A Block with 8 points, he is indeed repping LIJ strong, though his knee injury may stub out his hot streak.  I'm pretty sure it's worked a worked injury, but it was so well pulled off with a botched spot, and it's been sold well since, that whatever it is, I'm along for the ride with a hook in my cheek.  Current: 4 wins, 1 loss.

Bad Luck Fale
Fale used to always beat Tanahashi in tournaments, but Tana beat him last year.  Now it looks like he's basically in Elgin's shoes, being able to beat anybody or lose to anybody.  Fale is solo-repping the Bullet Club OGs for Block A.

I wrote these preview blurbs before the G1 Special in SF show, wherein Tama Tonga and Tonga Loa destroyed the rest of Bullet Club.  Fale was noticeably absent, but presumably implicit in the turn.  The faction drama has impacted the G1 in ways I never would have guessed.  The Firing Squad is cheating on everybody, and I'm pretty sure every single one of Fale's wins have followed a ref bump, and all of his losses came from DQs from having been caught cheating.  The finishes to Fale matches already felt unpredictable, but now they feel anarchistic.  It's unorthodox for New Japan, and moving in a "western" direction, but in this instance I think it's pulled off really well, and is an exciting component to this year's tournament.  Current: 2 wins, 3 losses.

Togi Makabe
I'm not sure if he's older than Suzuki, but he feels like it.  Last year, Yuji Nagata's final G1 performance was a terrific story, and I still have goosebumps from the ovation he got on the last day.  Makabe's king-kong bravado may not lend itself as well to gracefully stepping away, but I wouldn't look for him to take many points home.

Well, color me incorrect.  Makabe's making a decent showing points-wise, though I'm still not banking on his coming out of the tourney with a winning record.  His win over Suzuki was the most enjoyable upset of the G1 so far.  Current: 2 wins, 3 losses.

Kazuchika Okada
Is he the shoe-in to win?  I'd be totally fine with that.  Go get your belt back, Rainmaker!  I'm looking forward to Okada's matches the most because he's my favorite sports team.

Definitely not following the traditional route of "the shoe-in", Okada has struggled to find his footing, openly going through a coulrophilic phase, and at this point, sitting on two losses.  it seems unlikely that he'll win unless he demonstrates a dramatic upgrade of character.  My guess is that his further evolution will occur post-G1, but it's certainly not too late for him to at least take the block.  Current: 3 wins, 2 losses.

Adam Page
It's his first G1, which is probably be the most auspicious career highlight yet for Page.  He's been having great performances, and here he can act as a proxy for his teammates, keeping the heat going for Cody and the gang as the only 'new school' Bullet Club member in the tournament.

Pagey has been killin it nightly, getting over in front of every single crowd he's been in front of, whether in tag preview or G1 singles action.  I was coming into it with an open mind, but at this point feel totally invested in rooting for Pagey to earning as many points as he can get away with.  The buckshot lariat is maybe my favorite move of the summer.  Current: 1 win, 4 losses.

Minoru Suzuki
Another guy who'll be fun to watch throughout the tournament.  He's coming in on a hot streak that goes back all the way past last year's G1.  With Okada and Tanahashi in the mix, I don't think he'll be points winner, but he'll be making life hard for all of the A Block competitors.

It's occurred to me during this tournament that Minoru Sukuzi may be the #1 pro wrestler in the world.  I'm not talking about who my personal favorite is, because my #1 of all time is Dan Bryan (a Smackdown property) and my #1 of the day is Kaz Okada (present whereabouts unknown).  Suzuki's offense and selling are impeccable, and his storytelling is in some seriously rarefied air.  If he takes his hot streak all the way to WK13, it would be awesome.  Current: 3 wins, 2 losses.

Hiroshi Tanahashi
The Ace has one of, if not the best story going into the tournament.  Formerly dominant veteran, now the underdog looking to recapture his spot at the top of the heap.  That story will make all of his matches exciting, especially his bout with Okada, which will be the seventh or eighth between them, I think.  I do know that they've only had two G1 matches before, and they were both time limit draws.  Kevin Kelly will fill us in on the rest of the stats when the time comes. 

No surprise, Mr 1/100 has provided backup to my expectations.  He's holding steady in the rankings, but is still an underdog in most matches.  It would be really cool if he gets to the finals, but I wouldn't look for him to win the tourn.  He is the most beautiful man I have ever seen.  Tristy jus like him for the talent tho.  Current: 4 wins, 1 loss.

Switchblade Jay White
I feel about White the way I used to about Evil.  The gimmick is so campy, I can't see past it.  I'll be trying to watch his matches with an open mind.

Switchblade's early upsets in the G1 against Okada and Tanahashi have been part of what (for me) has made A Block less compelling than B Block.  Now that we're at the halfway-point, I can begin to see (with help from Kelly & Romero) how White is meant to fit into the roster.  He's still sorta green and figuring out his shit, but he's miles ahead of (oh, let's say for example) Will Ospreay.  Now that White's getting more rounded, I'm seeing past the gimmick better, but there's a way to go before I''m invested on another level.  Current: 3 wins, 2 losses.

With three members, the Chaos faction is the most represented in A Block, so we'll see some of these team-mates fight for their spot within their club.  Yoshi-Hashi is the perpetual kid brother of Chaos,and it will be interesting to see him against White and Okada, even though his performance last year was underwhelming.

Yoshi's best performance was on the most recent A Block show, when he headlined in a game but losing effort against his Chaos-mate Okada.  It was cool to see him bring the noise, and see a fuller extent to what his finishers could pull off, even if they couldn't take down the Rainmaker.  It reminded me of his great match vs Omega in '16, and not just because it was the only reference point our intrepid commentators had to make.  Current: 1 win, 4 losses.


Hirooki Goto
He's an innovator, he's a bruiser, he's a great technician, but somehow he's still boring most of the time.  Still, he shines best in the G1, and there are a lot of matchups to be excited about.  As the current Never Champ, he should finish strong, but I wouldn't expect him to take the block.

As expected, he's had some really good matches, but his place in the standings equals his hype level.  Current: 2 wins, 3 losses.

Kota Ibushi
With his team-mate holding the IWGP Heavy belt, it will be interesting to contrast Ibushi's record against Omega's.  Ibushi's kinda been on the sidelines for the coronation of Omega, with his last singles match being a losing effort against Cody in May.  I expect he'll be getting tons of underdog support from the crowd (and from my couch).  Last year was the first time he got through the G1 with a winning record, but it was still just 5-4.

My MVP of the first half of the tournament.  His match against Sabre was one of my G1 favorites, but then his match with Ishii blew the lid off everything, and will undoubtedly be one of the best of the whole year.  Even with two losses at this point, I'm looking for him to go far in the tourney, possibly even getting a win over Kenny on the last day.  Current: 3 wins, 2 losses.

Tomohiro Ishii
Even without much of a spotlight through the rest of the year, Ishii always closes out the G1 as a contender for the tournament's MVP.  The B Block roster is really strong, and I'm looking forward to every one of Ishii's matches.

Even though Ibushi may have (so far) taken Ishii's spot as G1 MVP, Ibushi's best match was unquestionably against Ishii, and besides that, the tourney ain't over yet.  Ishii is still showing up in a big way, and his win against Goto felt smooth for this Chaos fanboy.  Current: 2 wins, 3 losses.

Tetsuya Naito
Last year's winner, and there hasn't been a back-to-back G1 winner since '03-'04 when Tenzan did it.  It's always interesting to see what they do with Naito, and his match against Omega should be electric.  I could see him taking the block.

He's trailing Omega in points, but I'm still looking for Naito to take B Block.  He's over as fuck, he's cool as hell, he's like the 2011 CM Punk except that New Japan knows how to book.  His next four matches are some of the ones I'm looking forward to most.  Current: 4 wins, 1 loss.

Kenny Omega
Fresh off his Championship win, it will be great to see everyone else gunning for the new top guy.  He'll have his loss to Juice last year to avenge, a match with Tama Tonga that may (or may not) glean insight into the Golden Elite's relationship to the OGBC, and of course a match against his best friend in the whole wide world.  And in between those great matches, more pure fire.  The champion never wins the tournament, so it will be interesting to see who can get a win over him.

No losses so far, but I'm sticking with my prediction of his not winning the G1, or even the block.  One of the great questions now is "who can beat Kenny?"  He'd have to lose twice in order for Naito to win, and Naito'd have to stay undefeated going forward.  There are probably some people who would love to see Omega go all the way, for the champ to win the G1 for the first time since 2000 (which predates the stipulation that the G1 winner headlines vs the champ at Wrestle Kingdom... because it predates Wrestle Kingdom by 6-7 years.)  There are other people like me who want to see some points-drama late in the game.  But we'll all be on the edges of our seats.  Current: 5 wins, 0 losses.

Balls Deep Juice Robinson
He had that huge upset last year, so you can never count Juice out, but B Block is stacked so I wouldn't expect him to go far.  I become a slightly bigger fan of Juice every year, largely because of the G1.

Having won the US Title, injured his hand, and become a gay pirate since I wrote the preview blurb, a lot has gone on in the Juice-verse.  Like Evil's injury, I'm pretty sure the hand thing is a work, but it makes a good story, if only to excuse his losing streak.  Marty Derosa said that Juice looked like a 14-year-old girl's bedroom that could kick your ass.  I just wrote that so I would remember it.  Current: 1 win, 4 losses.

Zack Sabre Jr
This year's KOPW tournament winner, Sabre can beat anyone or lose to anyone.  There are only two Suzuki-Gun members in the G1, with Suzuki in A Block and Sabre in B.  I'd expect him to represent his faction strong, but struggle with Yano and not take the block.

Sabre's had a great G1, really adding a lot to what's made the B Block so special this year.  Whether he wins or loses, his matches feel different, and his bouts against Ibushi, Sanada, and Tama Tonga were some of my faves.  Current: 3 wins, 2 losses.

The second LIJ member in B Block.  Sanada is another guy who can beat anyone and lose to anyone, but with B Block being so stacked, including his faction's leader, Sanada's going to have a hard time finishing with a winning record.

Sanada's shown up in a big way, even headlining twice (and probably will a third time before it's over).  He's got a winning record now, as I hadn't predicted, and he looks set to stay ahead of the crowd from here on out, though I'd be shocked if he got one over Naito.  Being so far down on the list of competitors, I didn't mention before how Sanada's another one of those guys who really shines during the G1, but he has been before and he is again.  Current: 3 wins, 2 losses.

Tama Tonga
This is usually the only time of the year we get to see Tama wrestle singles matches, and I think he's really fun to watch.  He isn't exactly poised to take any upset victories, but I'll be rooting for him.  He's the only Bullet Club member (besides Kenny?) in B Block.

My preview blurb is comical considering how much Tama's hype has improved.  He isn't any higher on the card, and his win record hasn't improved, but he feels dangerous, and his faction is predictably unpredictable, and he's got the style to back it all up.  We remember when he was the weak link of Bullet Club, but he makes a great leader for the Firing Squad.  I'm totally into it.  Current: 1 win, 4 losses.  (2 losses were DQ, Naito and Sanada got him clean.)

Toru Yano
Again, Chaos faction is the most represented with 3 competitors in B Block.  Yano won't be fighting for his spot in the way that Goto and Ishii will be, but he'll be wreaking mischief across the board.  Yano's matches are great because you never know what to expect, and the matches can end at any time outta nowhere.

The injection of "fair play" into Yano's repertoire has sustained his matches' unpredictability for another year of weird G1 matches.  His match with Sabre was especially fun.  Current: 1 win, 4 losses.


Satoshi Kojima
I think he might be injured, I'm not sure.  He, Tenzan, and Nagata have all faded from the limelight in the past couple years, but Tenzan and Nagata had "goodbye" G1s in 2016 and 2017.  I was sort of expecting Kojima to get the same treatment this year.

One of the things I was looking forward to most about this year's G1 was the possibility of seeing a bunch of Taichi matches.  He's only joined the heavyweight ranks recently, so there are a ton of fresh matchups waiting for him.  There are several guys in the tournament that I would love to swap out for Taichi.

This makes sense, I do like how they keep Cody's appearances more limited.  It keeps his heat... hot.  And like I said for Adam Page, with him being in the G1 he can keep that heat going, but take losses, while Cody stays strong.  It's solid booking.

CM Punk
*cue the music*

June 19, 2018

Be A Star

Wolfing down sweet potato fries and marking out to Velveteen Dream. Scanning 25 dollar flip flops at Whole Foods like a house of fire. It is I, you're boy, dreading work while drinking nock off La Croix. Weighing in at about 145 pounds(working on bringing that down a bit)  RrrrrrrUSTY NICKLES
Cue the theme...

Ok Enough of that shit. I figured I would type up a quick post because it was another great weekend for wrestling. Sadly I had to close both nights so I couldn't text Poncho as we watched it live together. But at least I had both shows to look forward to when I got off work. About that, I am a whole Foods Cashier now. It is ok. Not hard exactly. I just am having a hard time jumbling up the produce numbers. Apparently I am more dyslexic than I thought. Something you both probably find obvious from reading my posts for years. Oh well. I am getting it. Lets get to the wrestling.

Like I said earlier, I had to close at work. So I didn't start it till after 11 pm. This made the later half of the show hard to watch because I was so tired. Lesson learned; wrestling is more fun when both eyes can watch the match. oh well. Takeover still was great and reaffirmed my feeling that NXT is  miles ahead of main roster.

Some quick match thoughts...

Undisputed Era vs Lorcan and Burch (AKA the Stone Cold Wax Figures)
Man I HAAAAAAAATE the UE. As an outsider (mark) They just seem like kid wrestlers. I mean look at this dude. I am no size queen when it comes to wrestlers but he just isn't convincing at all. And they all do that fucking stupid hand sign. It is just embarrassing. I haaaaate them. Miz style hate. On the flip side, I know how wrestling works, and they are awesome heals and are doing a great job.  I am dying to see them get crushed and lose the belts at every show. With this show I knew that there was no chance that they were going to lose against the wax figures of stone cold. But the match ruled regardless. It was a killer way to open the show.

Ricochet VS Velveteen Dream 
This is the one I was most excited about seeing. The build was fucking perfect. That flip that Ric did was one of the moments of the year. And Dream has rocketed into my fav five. Maybe even number one at the moment. I can see how he is a bit green but whatever. I look forward to seeing what he does week to week and isn't that what wrestling is all about?

So this match was fantastic. From the second it started it was a mark out fest. So many little details everywhere. I gotta admit I am not totally sold on Rick. I mean, he is a killer wrestler and I will be glued to the tv for his NXT matches. But I am not into his whole vibe. maybe it is the be fearless tattoo. He looks like the kinda guy who shops at whole foods, has a hot wife, two kids with 50 dollar Hitler youth haircuts, and pays with his apple watch. I guess that is unfair. Ric is great too. This was easily match of the night for me.

Shayna Baszler VS Nikki Cross
This was killer also! I knew that these two would rip it up and they did. Here is where I started getting sleepy so I don't have notes. The end was great. I love both of them.

I mean we all new Lars had no chance right? But this was a real fun big man smaller man match. I  love both of these guys and of course NXT delivered by having a great story thru the match. Speaking of.

Ciampa vs Johnny Wrestling
Do we all agree that this is the best thing in WWE today? Here is more proof, if you even need it, that NXT is far superior to main roster. This was another great match that had me nervous and on the edge of my seat the whole time. I was worried they would kill each other based on the brutality of the last match. Personally I like regular matches over ones with stipulations. I feel like a great match with no stipulations just feels better. And this one fell to that a bit. But I mean, it was still killer and brutal and these guys hate each other's guts haaaard. And the ending was perfect. fight forever clap clap clapclapclap! Where do they go next? I can't wait to see. May I suggest a bra and panties match?

I don't wanna get into MITB really . I hardly paid attention. And fucking Instagram spoiled the mens MITB match so that was a let down. Lately I have been down on the main roster shows. I am sure I have harped on this before. It is just so meaningless. Sure, some stories are great, the actual roster is fucking awesome, and good stuff is hidden thru the shows. But it is just so tediousssssssss. Jesus Christ I can't handle sitting thru a whole show. Every one feels the same. It is so fucking boring. If it wasn't for NXT maybe I wouldn't be so hard on WWE. But it is like if I aced advanced math and chemistry and got D's in art and P.E. You know I could do better, but it is obv

ious I just don't care to try. so frustrating.

Ok, stop complaining Rusty. It is my fault really. It is up to me to pick and chose what I watch and
not blame them for being bored with an aching back when I watch RAW. Be positive! Be a star! I need to chill out.

So friends, I gotta go work out and go to work. Lame. I leave you with some words of wizdome. Stay positive. Wrestling is fun even when it sucks. Soundgarden rules. Life is good even tho it is shitty sometimes. And frozen pizza sounds good but it is never worth it, we are getting to old to eat like that.

Love you dudes!

June 01, 2018

MMS: Smackdown Roster Race 2018

In which an opinionated but meandering QM mumbles softly.  Hugs and kisses are implied.

May 28, 2018

Raw Roster Broken Down With Quips and Thoughts. Or "Avoiding the Top Knot and White Wail"

Ring nameReal nameNotes
Akam[3]Sunny Dhinsa[4]Like a real author...he is nowhere to be seen. He's the big one right?
Apollo Crews[5]Sesugh Uhaa[6]He smiles, is best friends with Tozawa, and does a mean backflip. 
Baron Corbin[7]Thomas Pestock[8]Sucks
Big Show[9]Paul Wight II[10]Inactive; hip injury; Was kinda fun on Austin's podcast last week. Signed for another 3 years. Has abs.
Bo Dallas[11]Taylor Rotunda[12]This B Team is Social Rejects lite. I'm really beginning to not Bo-Lieve
Bobby Lashley[13]Franklin LashleyMade that Sami Zayn segment worse. Too bad because he was getting kinda interesting toward the end of his Impact run
Bobby Roode[14]Robert Roode Jr.[15]Why is he a babyface? He still acts like a heel. It's weird.
Braun Strowman[16]Adam Scherr[17]My prediction...they wait too long and he turns into Ryback.
Bray Wyatt[18]Windham Rotunda[19]WWE Raw Tag Team Champion; He's finally a babyface! Well, at least for awhile. I hope we get some more Deletion.
Brock Lesnar[20]Brock Lesnar[21]WWE Universal Champion; Too bad he's gonna beat Punk's record. I might be the only person still pumped to watch Brock matches. might be bad, but that is true of everyone. I still say the Brock/Goldberg feud was my favorite main roster feud of last year. 
Chad Gable[22]Charles Betts[23]I'm Ready, Willing, And Gable for him to bring that back. This band is doing an instrumental version of Rocky Mountain Way and I hate it.
Curt Hawkins[24]Brian Myers[25]Is he out Horowitzing Barry? Always entertaining. 
Curtis Axel[26]Joseph Hennig[27]He'll never not have a job. I'm glad Harry Smith left so he didn't become this.
Dash Wilder[28]Daniel Wheeler[29]He's the other one right? 
Dean Ambrose[30]Jonathan Good[31]Inactive; triceps injury; Heard he got a haircut. He and Renee have a cute dog right?
Dolph Ziggler[32]Nicholas Nemeth[33]Huh, put him with Frax's buddy and he might get over again.
Drew McIntyre[34]Andrew Galloway IV[35]Speak of the devil. He's like Samoa Joe level fire right now. Hope they run with it.
Elias[36]Jeffrey SciulloProblem is gonna be that he wrestles like a generic WWE product.
Fandango[37]Curtis Hussey[38]Been getting some good spots lately. I'm glad he got to the loveable always featured jobber spot.
Finn Bálor[39]Fergal Devitt[40]I don't want to see the Demon for awhile. Seems like he's getting over without it. It will be awesome when he brings it out foe a big Mania match. 
Goldust[41]Dustin Runnels[42]Wish he was more than a stuttering movie obsessive...but still killing it.
Heath Slater[43]Heath Miller[44]Co-host of WWE Game Night; I heard a rumor that he has kids.
Jason Jordan[45]Nathan Everhart[46]Inactive, neck injury; I wonder how they came up with the name Jason Jordan. Nathan Everhart? Top knot just commented that I've been on my phone.
Jinder Mahal[47]Yuvraj Dhesi[48]Ha. People will cheer him over Roman.
Kane[49]Glenn Jacobs[50]Inactive; on hiatus to run for Mayor of Knox County, Tennessee; What's next? A conspiracy tv show or a cameo in the new Predator
Kevin Owens[51][52]Kevin SteenCan't think of anyrhing to say. He's great.
Konnor[53]Ryan Parmeter[54]He's no Viktor
Matt Hardy[55]Matthew HardyWWE Raw Tag Team Champion, Only Matt Hardy and David Lynch can get a lawnmower over in their brilliant cinema.
Mike Kanellis[56]Michael Bennett[57]Remember that drug problem he had? Or having the least beloved new born of WWE wrestlers. Hope it didn't ruin Maria's ass.
Mojo Rawley[58]Dean Muhtadi[59]So not hype.
No Way Jose[60]Levis Valenzuela Jr.[61]It's like he was specifically created because Vince loved Rosebuds, but Adam Rose sucked.
Rezar[62]Gzim Selmani[4]Isn't Gzim a British Hardcore band? He's the big one right?
Rhyno[63]Terrance Gerin[64]I like that he likes crackers
Roman Reigns[65]Leati Anoa'i[66]Would you let him go down on you if he told you he loved you?
Sami Zayn[67][68]Rami SebeiI like that itssomehow cannon that evil Sami Zayn makes fun of trans people. 
Scott Dawson[69]David Harwood[70]He's the one with the good facial hair.
Seth Rollins[71]Colby Lopez[72]WWE Intercontinental Champion; Has had a really good past couple months. I'm sure his dog couldn't be prouder. 
Titus O'Neil[73]Thaddeus Bullard Sr.[74]I heard he's gonna be in a Marvel movie. 
Tyler Breeze[75]Mattias Clement[76]It's cool that he just appeared at a NXT show. I miss his whole theme song.
Viktor[77]Eric Thompson[78]The greatest.
Zack Ryder[79]Matthew Cardona[80]
The last box doesnt exist, but
The band literally just stopped
And top knot gave me shit about
Writing this. Fuck him.