December 18, 2016

Preview: End Of The Line

Hello guys. I remembered that there is a ppv today! I think I'm supposed to help my friend move, so I might not be sitting down at 4 to watch. That would be the first time in a year that I wouldn't be watching a WWE PPV live. Woe is me?

Maybe I'll do the big year end post this year. I guess I usually do a response to the Marshall's, but I could type one out when I'm down in Ashland in a few days. In the meantime....

 Big Cass vs. Rusev
So this is the preshow match. If you aren't paying attention....Enzo got nekkid backstage and ended up seeing Lana. Rusev, of course, was offended by the nekkid man around "his" lady. The next week, Lana and Rusev pretended to have a fight to trick Enzo into coming to Lana's hotel room, only to have "The Only Man That Can Have Me" CRUSH! So yeah, Enzo is a complete creep. His big buddy is defending him. So Rusev is kind of the babyface (again) except for the collusion the couple attempted. Anyways, this is a big multi layered story and it continues on the preshow. Can't complain.

The New Day (Big E and/or Kofi Kingston and/or Xavier Woods) (c) vs. Cesaro and Sheamus
Now that they are the longest reigning WWE Tag Team Champions..I'm sure they will lose immediately. Something you might not know, the pretape in the bar with Cesaro and Sheamus a few weeks ago was actually a beat by beat remake of a scene from "The Wrestler."  I guess it was Dick Murdoch and maybe Dusty Rhodes in the bar bonding over a bar fight. That being said....I still don't enjoy the reluctant tag team and wish Cesaro was in the main event scene of that other WWE show.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wrestler_(1974_film)


Sami Zayn vs. Braun Strowman
So every week Sami and Mick yell at each other. Braun can't tell the difference between various weaklings. Can "The Underdog From The Underground" do it? BTW...the internet/podcasts have been saying they aren't into this storyline because Mick has been doing passionate yelly promos. Why is Mick Foley and Sami Zayn so closely connected? Maybe I'm reading too much into this. We'll see.....


Rich Swann (c) vs. T.J. Perkins vs. The Brian Kendrick
These guys all have wins over each other. Perkins beat Swann, Swann beat Kendrick, and Kendrick beat Perkins (I think that's how it goes....I hardly pay attention to these matches). This might be good? I'm not that into it.

 
Sasha Banks (c) vs. Charlotte Flair
30 Minute Iron Man Match. I hope this is good. I think I enjoyed the falls count anywhere match on RAW. For such a long feud, they haven't had that really good memorable match that they might have had on an NXT show. It's like the Balor vs Joe feud. Good luck ladies.


Chris Jericho vs. Seth Rollins
We don't know if the best friends are best friends anymore. Intrigue. I have a bad feeling that Jericho vs Owens will be a Wrestlemania match. That will be the internet mark match on the card (you know...the old CM Punk spot). The other big news about this match is that this is the first ppv in the last 17 appearances that Rollins won't be in a title match. I could totally see this being a match where Jericho wrestles as the babyface and Rollins wrestles heel, despite their characters. Chris Jericho: Ace Of WWE?

Kevin Owens (c) vs. Roman Reigns
Reigns will probably win. He doesn't even seem built up. Probably cause they know if they build him up, he'll get booed. I miss having babyfaces that I actually want to cheer for. I especially miss having a babyface in the top spot that I want to cheer for. Miss you DBD.

Well, well, well. Have fun guys. Rock Kick! Goodbye.  






























December 16, 2016

December 04, 2016

Don't go chasing waterfalls.

I'm laying around recovering from The Lowmen playing their first show in 14 months last night. We stayed up all night drinking booze. I think I had Rainier, Tecate, Corona, Shiraz, Tequila, and Whiskey. I don't even like whiskey. Went to bed at 7. Party! I shockingly feel more sore (headbanging and what not) than I do hungover.

Anyways, I thought I'd do a quick preview that maybe I can get done before the show starts in a half hour.

Apollo Crews, The Hype Bros (Mojo Rawley and Zack Ryder), and American Alpha (Jason Jordan and Chad Gable) vs. Curt Hawkins, The Vaudevillains (Aiden English and Simon Gotch), and The Ascension (Konnor and Viktor)

Pre show match. It hasn't started yet. Face the facts. I don't care. Oh...Peter Rosenberg is on the preshow panel with Renee and Booker. It's weird.

Heath Slater and Rhyno (c) vs. The Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt and Randy Orton)
Well, I think this is the end of the title run. At least he got an above ground pool and kept his kids fed. I can't decide if Randy is more interesting now or not. Well, I think by nature of this story going on for more than 2 weeks (Remember that awful Daniel Bryan thing?) that he is inherently more interesting. Oh...and Rhyno like shaved off his beard and has big stubbly mutton chops. It's really odd looking. As bad as Rusev's beard that he shaved so he wouldn't look like Roman Reigns.

Kalisto vs. Baron Corbin
Chairs Match
Hmm. Well I'm sure Corbin will win and this match will suck. It's too bad Kalisto has just turned into another version of Sin Cara. I miss his awkward excited badly done promos. They're the best. Are there rules to a Chairs Match? Is it just a no DQ match? I can't remember.

Nikki Bella vs. Carmella
No DQ
The thing that almost every match on this card has is an extended history. I'm reasonably excited for a match that pre brand split I wouldn't have cared about. I like how Carmella has been bringing in  John Cena to her promos to say mean things about Nikki. (I sat here for a few minutes trying to think of some take to make, but really I think this is just decent television that I'll enjoy watching)

The Miz (c) (with Maryse) vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ladder Match
Well, The Miz started appearing on Total Divas this season. He's comes across exactly like I thought he would. He seems like a guy that just regurgitates things. It's like if Bryan Danielson is Van Gogh, Mike Mizanin is one of those painters that just replicates paintings that already exist. It's why he's capable of having good matches/performances, but he's still meaningless in the scheme of things, and is able to trick people into thinking he's talented. This match will probably be good, but no Shawn vs Razor.

Becky Lynch (c) vs. Alexa Bliss
Tables Match
Aw yes. My girl. Oh...and tables matches usually have a coherent rules structure. First through a table loses. So yeah this should be fun. With muscle butt.

AJ Styles (c) vs. Dean Ambrose
TLC Match
I wonder if James Ellsworth will get involved? I'd be a little more excited if I wasn't expecting tons of shenanigans. Oh, and if Ambrose wasn't an awkward joke.

The show is starting. Have I mentioned how much I hate dreadlocks? I don't understand them and I find them gross. Why is there a four man booth? I think I've given up on World Tag League. It was super boring...except Billy Gunn. Who was great.

Done.

November 20, 2016

Survive this Survivor Series Preview

Well shit....I ran a half marathon earlier this week (I was supposed to run it today) so I'd have all the time in the world to have an early morning band practice and then just sit and watch 6 hours of wrastling. Then I had to go help vacuum a basement and some minor plumbing. Luckily, it got done and I've got a half hour before the main show starts.

Noam Dar, Rich Swann, and T.J. Perkins vs Ariya Daivari, Drew Gulak, and Tony Nese
So I just turned on the show and this was ending. I won't tell you who won, but Rich Swann is charming, and Gulak in WWE seems more like a certain Ant that works in the military than it does the Legal Eagle, Regal Beagle. It's kinda weird. This match is totally inconsequential.

Kane vs Luke Harper
Well, this wasn't announced before hand. I turned it on and they told me that this was next. I'm writing this as it happens. I don't really have any feelings about it. Harper has Kane in a sweet headlock.

 Team Raw (The New Day (Big E and/or Kofi Kingston and/or Xavier Woods), Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson, Sheamus and Cesaro, Enzo Amore and Big Cass, and The Shining Stars (Primo and Epico)) vs. Team SmackDown LIVE (Heath Slater and Rhyno, The Hype Bros (Zack Ryder and Mojo Rawley), American Alpha (Jason Jordan and Chad Gable), The Usos (Jimmy Uso and Jey Uso), and Breezango (Tyler Breeze and Fandango))

I totally just stole all that from Wikipedia. So as with all the Survivor Series matches on this show the narrative is Raw vs Smackdown...and everyone seems super passionate about it, but they all don't like each other anyways. We're apparently really meant to believe that brand dominance is just as important to these people as championships and feuds. The only thing that kinda makes sense is that The Undertaker threatened Team Smackdown (the main 5 on 5 match) that if they lost, they'd have "hell to pay." I don't think he said that specifically...but I'm paraphrasing. Anyways, this match is gonna be a huge cluster. 20 man elimination tag. Do teams get eliminated when their partner gets eliminated? Hopefully they let us know.

I really like Breezango right now. They are hardly on tv, but their weird stuff online has been hilarious. They just hand out tickets for bad fashion. Too bad Fandango has been cast in the spot he's in forever.

Team Raw (Charlotte Flair, Bayley, Nia Jax, Alicia Fox, and Sasha Banks) (with Dana Brooke) vs. Team SmackDown LIVE (Nikki Bella, Becky Lynch, Alexa Bliss, Carmella, and Naomi) (with Natalya)
I said this in a text, but it really made me feel weird to see Bayley stomp on Nikki purely based on the fact they are on different shows. It goes back to our feelings about how her matches give us all the feelings. When (if) she ever turns heel...it will be heartbreaking.

 Team Raw (Kevin Owens, Chris Jericho, Roman Reigns, Braun Strowman, and Seth Rollins) vs. Team SmackDown LIVE (AJ Styles, Dean Ambrose, Bray Wyatt, Randy Orton, and Shane McMahon) (with James Ellsworth)
 I already said The Undertaker thing. Ummm....Ellsworth and Braun reuniting will probably be super entertaining. Oh, and Jericho tried to get everyone scarves, but they didn't like them. It was adorable.

The Brian Kendrick vs Kalisto for the Cruiserweight Championship(If Kalisto wins, the entire Cruiserweight division moves to Smackdown)
I'm just happy to have Kalisto back. He just cut a weird awkward promo on the preshow that was interrupted by Kendrick who made fun of him for not being as good as Sin Cara. Kalisto really needed more time in NXT to learn how to speak, but I guess his awkward excited promos are charming for a babyface.

The Miz vs Sami Zayn for the Intercontinental Championship
I was hoping for Ziggler vs Zayn. I wanted the battle of the Z's, but Ziggler had to go and lose the belt on Tuesday. So yeah, this is happening.

Brock Lesnar vs Goldberg
So yeah, The crowd is already chanting Goldberg. This build has been really good. Goldberg somehow became more charismatic and a lot better on the mic in the last 12 years. He may be 49, but he's still jacked (he's part time, no drug tests?). He's also made it clear in interviews that he knows he hasn't wrestled in 12 years, and he's accepting that he's probably going to get hurt...and it seems like a shoot. So maybe he's just better at making me believe in his old age. Oh...and Lesnar says that he doesn't car about Goldberg's children, he will eat them, and warns his family not to watch. So yeah, he "doesn't give a fuck about Goldberg." Something about it hooked me. Hopefully it doesn't completely suck. Maybe it will be a beautiful trainwreck.

Well, the show just started. Bayley makes me feel fuzzy. Everybody is wearing t-shirts of their brand. This is gonna be silly. Okay....enjoy?

October 31, 2016

Hell In A Cell Preview Review

Bananas, carrots, gummi worms, ice cream?  Did you forget the sausages, popsicles, cucumbers, and hot white cum?

It was super to read a new post on here.  Things have been quiet since the draft.  There are some questions posed in the preview, so I'm delighted to respond.  It's the closest I'll get to a wrestling conversation today, or any time soon, probably.

Oh, not a question, but I marked out harder for Scott Norton than Goldberg.  Like, way harder.

On the question of Sheamus' appeal: On this very website, one can go back and chronicle the rise and fall of my personal esteem of Sheamus.  I thought he was a fun bad guy in 2011, and when he won the Royal Rumble in 2012 I totally marked out.  It's all on tape, it's an interesting one to go back and listen to-- I think I do it every year around Royal Rumble time to hear what a happy WWE mark I used to be.  Part of the question is: was he that much better, or was I just way more of a mark?  I'll never really know.  But what I do know is that yes, within 8 months of Sheamus becoming a good guy, he became the saccharine, shit-eating dingbat that his character has not (to date) fully recovered from.  I would love to see him regain the charismatic twinkle he used to provide, but what's maybe more the point is that his move set has been stagnant for a long time, and his matches are WWE cookie cutter to the point that I've heard him be singled out as being one of the "most WWE" on the entire roster.  Ironically, that's not good for anyone.  Still, I loved his double-countout with Cesaro.  I think a gradual face turn as a new kind of character, connected to Cesaro, where they can have each others' backs could get over and give Sheamus a wider appeal, and Cesaro something worthwhile to keep him busy not winning singles titles.  That was a long-winded response, I must really be jonesin for some wrestletalk!

What does this male femenist think about the Divas going on last or not?  Impossible for me to answer because I haven't been watching the TV.  If they have the hottest feud going, it could go on last.  If it's debatable whether they or Owens/Rollins have to hottest feud, then it depends on the creative of the matches.  If one of their matches has a run-in, or a big surprise, it goes on last.  If one of them has an emotional title change, it goes on last.  If one of them has a huge cell spot, it goes on last.  The principal tenet of femenism, as I understand and practice it is: what difference does it make if they're women?

I have to acknowledge that it's impressive and awesome that Flair, Banks, Lynch, Emmalina, etc have proved their capability as rad wrestlers to the point of being an integral part of the shows, but if people are talking about how they're female, and not the angle, then the angle has gotten too meta.  With so much talk being generated about it, it's probably best just to put them on last to shut everyone up (for now).

Has there been a good HIAC match lately?  The first one that comes to mind was between Daniel Bryan and a Hall-of-Pain-era Mark Henry on Smackdown in 2011.  Actually, I just looked this up, and of course it wasn't a HIAC match, it was a regular cage match.  But I was a total mark for both of them at the time (still am), I thought it was a great tv match (just rewatched it-- still do), and that has apparently eclipsed my appreciation for any actual HIAC match in the last 5 years.  If you want to watch it, the only video I could find is in German: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNW0CDOQHio  I just tried to check the wrestlingmachine archive to see if I saved a better copy, but I think a recent storm shorted out its memory.  Fucking heartbreaking.  Good thing my XWT-Classics ratio is so high!  Hope they still have those sweet mid-90's AJPW packs on there.

Am I staying hyped?  Well, between not really caring about tonight's PPV and just finding out that my wrestling archive is toast... the beer helps.

I actually am hyped about New Japan though.  And ready to give ROH another chance, as I've been skipping their TVs for several months, but they do some good stuff sometimes.  I'm definitely not hyped on WWE, but I'll keep an open mind when I check out Owens/Rollins and Flair/Banks, since they come Poncho-approved.  QM out!
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This was too long to post as a comment by a margin of 181 characters.  If I had left out the snickering phallus opener and Scott Norton confession, that would have been more than enough to bring it all down to size, but what fun would that be?

October 30, 2016

Hell In A Cell Preview

The Marshall literally just reminded me about doing a preview. So I shall do one. It's Halloween Eve. I just went and got Bananas, Carrots, Gummi Worms, and some Ice Cream. If I dress up tomorrow, I'm probably going to recycle my DX Shawn Michaels costume. I was thinking about doing current Shawn though...Camo hat, jeans tucked into boots....but only big nerds would realize I'm not just "generic redneck."

I watched a Pro Wrestling Noah show this week "The Great Voyage" that I thought was descent, but reviews I read weren't very positive. Maybe I was just enjoying something different? Or actually some of the reviews just said it was predictable, and since I don't watch much NOAH...it wasn't for me.

Hear that Scott "Flash" Norton is coming back to NJPW for Wrestle Kingdom? Hopefully just for the NJ Rumble.

So yeah here's a preview....Smackdown continues to be a far more watchable and entertaining show than RAW. They're telling stories. RAW is a place where definable characters interact, and you only really enjoy Jericho and Owens.

Cedric Alexander, Lince Dorado, and Sin Cara vs Tony Nese, Drew Gulak, and Ariya Daivari
Woo...Cruiserweights. This is on the preshow. These guys will do some stuff. Gulak will tie somebody up. Tony Nese will do some flippies and be ripped. Sin Cara will illicit no emotion from any of us. Oh, and everything will be purple.

Bayley vs Dana Brooke
They did an old school arm wrestling gimmick on RAW last week. I really enjoyed it, until the crowd started chanting "boring." I really wanted Braxton to show up and yell at the crowd. Filler that I'm okay with.

Enzo Amore and Big Cass vs The Club
The Club has certainly gotten a little buried in the mix here. They probably should have won the Tag Titles, but apparently Vince didn't want them to be hot heels. I'm not that worried about it. They've been given/done some really horrible skits, but cream rises and when they get to be themselves...I'm sure it will get over. More filler that I'm okay with.

The New Day vs Cesaro and Sheamus for the WWE Raw Tag Team Championship
A tag match where 4 out of the 5 guys involved are beloved. Seems like they're trying to make Sheamus a face again. He never really connected with me before, and continues that streak now, but I felt like I disliked him more as a face. Wasn't he really saccharine?

TJ Perkins vs Brian Kendrick for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Was trying to think if I give a flying fuck. Brian Kendrick begged TJP to lay down and let him win for his family. Now I have sympathy for him. Confusing stuff. I listened to TJP on a podcast (I think Jericho's) and I kinda cared less about him.

Roman Reigns vs Rusev for the US Championship In A Cell
The supposed show opener. Rusev has been the angry babyface in this feud. He showed pictures of his family of immigrants and talked about them being his role models. Then Reigns made fun of him. They've done a good job of making me hate Reigns even more lately. He also hates marriage sooooo much.

Kevin Owens vs Seth Rollins for the WWE Universal Championship In A Cell
Jericho will get involved in this. Somebody will make "The List." They probably won't be Best Friends anymore. Seth Rollins is an unlikable babyface. He seems like a cog in the story rather than part of a main event. Hope the match is good. Oh...and RAW last week...Owens power bombed Rollins on the apron and Cole yelled "That apron power bomb has taken weeks off of careers."

Sasha Banks vs Charlotte for the WWE Raw Women's Championship In A Cell
The supposed Main Main Event. They really should have advertised the Women being the main event if they were gonna be the main event. Or not. Feminists might argue it should just be the main event and not make it a big deal. What do you fellow male feminists think? The story has been that they're excited to fight in a cage....while Mick Foley is trying to remind them that cages are scary.

Has there been a good Hell In A Cell match in years? I guess the Brock vs Taker one was kinda memorable. The Triple H vs Taker at Mania a few years ago? Oh, I kinda liked Shane vs Taker for telling a better story than most matches on Mania. Can you think of any more?

Well...I'll be over here watching it. Are you staying Hyped?

September 11, 2016

Lash of Back Preview

Dear Brother Quarter and Brother Nickles,
Thought I'd do a quick pareeview. If I could I'd type this all out Mark Twain style in "Broken" speak, but I think I'm a little too lazy for such an intensive undertaking.
      Just to set the seen, I'm currently in the middle of 1997 WCW and deep in the Kevin Sullivan/Chris Benoit feud. I can tell you this, the feud is so much better when you see the PPV matches and the viciousness they pulled out of each other. I could have seen myself being more of a Benoit fan back in the day if I'd seen these. Alas, It's really creepy to watch somebody be lovey dovey, cut intense promos where you talk about souls, and then repeat the word soul in nonsensical ways and know what happens 10 years later. Sorry for the bummer. This has been the first time re-watching WCW that it's really been prevalent, probably due to the reality based storyline and what not. Ick

The Usos vs The Hype Bros
Oh goody. Heel Usos against a perennial underdog who has been made completely unlikable by his completely unlikable partner. Sounds exactly like what I want to watch. The winner will go on to face....

Heath Slater and Rhyno vs Dog Shit For Kids
Way to go Smackdown. Your inaugural WWE Smackdown Tag Team Champions are going to be Dog Shit or an ad hoc team whose goal is to save their above ground pool for their six (seventeen?) children. I'm not saying I don't enjoy Slater and Rhyno, but unless they have a really long run with these belts they aren't being legitimized by this. I'm probably just pointing out the obvious.

The Miz vs Dolph Ziggler
The Miz cuts a great promo on DBD, only to be challenged by Dolph Ziggler? Who lost his WWE Real Championship title shot at the last PPV? When did he last win a match (other than randomly pinning AJ Styles to earn the title shot)? Huh. Yeah.

Randy Orton vs Bray Wyatt
Prediction: After getting destroyed last month by a Filth Blood, our "hero" must get his fire back by beating the "villian" who everyone cheers for and is generally behind. Our "villian" never wins matches because he's believed to be so over that nothing harms him. Except logically when story is repeated, and repeated (see above match competitor 2), and it becomes obvious that "villian" doesn't win matches, he just makes his opponents questions their beliefs for a few weeks by cutting intriguing promos (that also don't go anywhere). Huh....apparently today I'm down on the product. Actually, Smackdown is fairly entertaining....I'm just confused by the booking, so I need to  just be less of a mark and just watch.

I just watched Randy Savage join the NWO. He had been hanging out with Sting for a few months, but he randomly gave Hogan some brass knuckles to pop Roddy Piper in the head. This is almost as logical as Smackdown.

 Alexa Bliss vs Becky Lynch vs Carmella vs Naomi vs Natalya vs Nikki Bella for the WWE Smackdown Women's Title
Oh man. Does just reading those names bring great confidence to your head? 5 Star Classic? 6 matches announced. Is it a 3 hour show? Maybe everything will get lots of time. Or maybe we'll get a random Baron Corbin vs Apollo Crews match thrown in? Anyways, I'll be over here cheering for Alexa.

Dean Ambrose vs AJ Styles for the WWE Real Championship
Anybody watch the Austin interview with Ambrose? Austin challenging Ambrose to turn it up. Ambrose responding with feigning indignation. I think Alvarez said something on the Observer podcast about how WWE is a very different place from when Austin got there. I think Austin just wants the character to always work. Half the time it does, and half the time it comes across as Norm Macdonald's Burt Reynolds. Know something that does work? The new Face That Runs The Place. Corny AJ seems to have channeled his inner Chris Jericho and is both the most badass wrestler in WWE and the silliest. He seems to be on a roll. It's his time. Which is why they probably won't do it.

I think Broken Matt was even better on the Sam Roberts Podcast a few weeks (months?) back. Roberts played along a little better than Jericho did. The animals made me the happiest.

I watched all of "The Evolution Of Punk." I watched Press conferences before and after. I watched the fight. I payed nothing. Good for Punk. Got some cauliflower ear in the process. The narrative is weird. I'm shocked Joe Rogan didn't just say something like "well...this proves wrestlers aren't tough." The narrative turned into "everyone is impressed you actually got in there." Too bad Bobby Lashley is a heavyweight...because otherwise that would be Punk's next fight in Bellator. MMA is weird.

Haven't seen any Chikara all year and would feel horrible starting at KOT because most of the fun is the story. It's just too bad the story wasn't anywhere near as compelling last year and it ended up making me lose interest this year. Maybe, one of these days, I'll make a blanket fort and not come out until I'm caught up with Chikara.

I rambled enough. My final hope. All matches get time and it doesn't just turn into a bunch of network commercials with 10 minute matches. Maybe I'm crazy. Woo.






















September 10, 2016

SCN: We Fake Fight on Friday Night

THE FOLLOWING WBLOG IS SPOILER-FREE

Greetings all Aztecs and Neros,

My lovely spouse is away, and this mouse is going to watch some wrestling.  I've been keeping up with things pretty well in general (except WWE tv shows, I'm still on temporary strike), but this week we got the season opener for Lucha Underground, an episode of Impact that everyone is talking about, the King of Trios shows came out, and... am I missing anything?  I dunno.  Anyway, my plan this evening is to eat some vegetables, drink some vegetables, watch wrestling, write about wrestling.  A plate of asparagus and a bloody mary are on the table, so the only question is What to watch first?

Chikara King of Trios 2016 Night One
I had the winners of this 3-day-long tournament spoiled on Facebook, but I wanted to watch it anyway.  Having not watched any Chikara yet this year, the KoT offers a "casual" fan like me a chance to catch up on the storylines, while appreciating all the great talent they bring in to mingle with their already strong roster.

It was fun to come back to Chikara.  Some things are different, and some things never change.  The Batiri are red now, but Juan Francisco De Coronado still takes forever to get to the ring.  It felt great to see the Colony again, I'd been very curious to see what incarnation they'd be in.  Same goes with the disciples of Nasmal Dun (sp?), the Throwbacks, the Osirian Portal, etc.  I was not disappointed with the current state of the promotion, and will look forward to checking back in with the characters at the season finale, if not before.

The fourth match was a highlight, especially the interchange between C.L. and M.J.  The main event was another highlight, especially the interchange between D.G. and P.K.

Supercop Dick Justice is one of my favorite new gimmicks.  The name, at least.

 I don't remember if it was there before, but Oleg the Usurper's one-slinged singlet offered a showcase of a butterfat tit that almost reminded me of my highschool girlfriend, minus about 85% of the perk.

One of the best long-running features of Chikara was on display in awesome form, as Joey Styles kept things rocking and rolling at the Commentation Station with tremendous alternating co-broadcasters Bryce and Quack.  There has been some great commentary in wrestling lately, and these teams hold up against just about anybody.

I ate most of my asparagus before the first match even started!  Hungry for more vegetable, I made  popcorn, and washed it down with a second bloody mary.  I know what I've gotta watch next, but now the question is What will I eat and drink?

TNA Impact Sept. 8, 2016  Final Deletion 2: Delete or Decay (Director's Cut)
Seared brussel sprouts.  Another bloody mary.  Feelin like the buttery goober cousin of The Big "Feed Me More" Guy nee Ryback nee Skip Sheffield nee The Silverback Gorilla nee I-Don't-Know-I-Haven't-Listened-To-His-Latest-Podcast-Which-Details-His-Origin-Story-I-Only-Listened-To-The-First-One-But-I-Didn't-Really-Like-It nee Ryan Reeves.

Speaking of podcasts, I was talked into watching this by Marty and Sarah.  I wasn't into The Final Deletion 1, but I didn't hate it either.  I think I might have covered that in the most recent MMS, but that episode sucked and I wish I'd prepared for it better so that my thoughts would have been more concise and well-presented.  As are the benefits of writing, even if I am getting steadily drunker.
So, I watched this thinking I would get another hour-plus of Hardy drama, but lo and behold it was indeed Impact.  There were some Hardy segments spread throughout the show, and they had the entire last half-hour, which I watched in its "Director's Cut" form instead of the TV version.  However, since I did watch the bulk of Impact, I will share my thoughts on that first.

Moose is, and has been in the Impact Zone, which is news to me.  He has the same ROH theme music, and I'm wondering how that's possible, unless both shows are still on Destination America, which I'd thought was not the case anymore.  Dixie Carter as the GM figure reminded me how bad TNA could be.  And sometimes is.  Jeremy Borash's face has inflated like he's allergic to pessimistic speculation.  I wish he'd grow a beard.  Billy Corgan's visage begs for a metaphor more trenchant than I can presently muster.  I wish he'd grow a handlebar eyebrow.  But I'm not here to cast aspersions on the way people look, how shallow would that be?  No, I'm here to verbally gunstun the creative decision-making aspects of pro wrestling shows.  So let me get back on track.

I was excited to see Sandow, then disappointed to see his name was Aron Rex.  I can dig the spelling of Aron, that was Elvis' middle name (common crossword clue), but nobody's last name is Rex.  Except Oedipus.  Classical archetype though he may be, not the rolest of models.

True to form, TNA had some really dumb stuff.  Taking the cake were a couple of point-driven multi-round matches, like boxing, which didn't work for me at all.  At least the gimmick should be short-lived, as it seems to be a kind of experiment as they build contenders for their new Grand Championship, which to me presents issues of its own.  I absolutely hate the Universal Championship, I feel like it dilutes every other title in the WWE, and strips the facade of kayfabe competition from the entire promotion.  So for TNA, a much smaller company, to come out with a similarly generic "top" singles title to sit next to their World Championship, seems even more painfully dumb.

On the plus side, a long press conference segment between EC3 and Lashley was pretty fun to listen to while I was on my phone.


As I said, Marty and Sarah talked me into revisiting TNA, but listening to Broken Matt on Talk is Jericho didn't hurt.  The Hardy stuff is super-interesting as a separate entity from TNA, it has it's own feel and-- no hyperbole-- its own mythology.  In the Final Deletion 2, unlike part 1, there isn't even the pretext of having a wrestling match, though it is still somehow very very very wrestling.  Also superior to F.D. part 1 are the video and audio editing, which in this latest installation really flesh out the uncommon vision, and set an engrossingly unique tone.  I went into this surprised that everyone seemed to be talking about it, but afterward I'm surprised that it isn't being talked about more.  Without getting into the plot and character specifics, or the individual moments, I loved Final Deletion 2.

Now it's much later than I''d thought it would be after watching just 2 wrestling shows.  I thought I'd have time for more than 3, but I think this next one will have to be the last, as it's already 1 am.  I started at 6:30, how did this take me 5.5 hours?  Maybe too much cooking.  For this last leg, I'll finish my veggie journey with the dregs of my bloody mary mix and some corn chips.  Hey they're organic, alright?

Lucha Underground Season 3 Opener
The main event of this show would look great on paper, but without any built, it fell to the same weakness as the rest of the program.  I just didn't care that much about the dramatic elements.  Maybe that's an effect of not following Season 2 closely, maybe it's a product of most of the heels and faces working to pop the crowd instead of working for heat and comebacks, though I know LU has done that really well at some points in the past.  I think Season 3 will have some great highlights, and some cool story arcs, but there was a lot packed into this first hour, and not enough of it had the substance to draw me in yet.

----------

That's it from QMarshy tonight.  My promise of vegetables has officially gone off the rails, as I'm now depending on the pimentos in the olives in the watered-down vodka of my martini facsimile to carry the weight of my dietary code this evening.

Too bad I watched the Cruiserweight Classic show on Wednesday, that would have rounded this post out nicely.  Suffice to say, I think it's great, and at the end of the year will make for an interesting comparison to G1, which is saying a lot.

Will AJ be Realchamp when WWEsmackdownLIVEevent comes to the Moda Center?? I listened to a comp of his theme songs while I finished writing this up.  Too bad Talking Smack isn't a touring program, I'd pay buku bucks to sit in on that good party!

Of course g'night, fellas.

August 22, 2016

August 20, 2016

Poncho Man's SummerSlam Preview.

Cesaro vs Sheamus Best of seven Match 1
Isn't this more like match 20? I guess some remember Benoit vs Booker T (I dont), and some remember Beer Money and the Guns. I really liked Beer Money vs The Guns. Hopefully we get some cool matches?

Sami Zayn and Neville vs The Dudley Boyz
Somebody forgot that Sami Zayn needed a match. I like all these guys? Maybe it will be something.

American Alpha, The Hype Bros, and The Usos vs Breezango, The Ascension, and The Vaudevillians
Well, well, well. The quintessential match that no one care about.

Carmella, Becky Lynch, and Naomi vs Natalya, Alexa Bliss, and what was supposed to be a Filth Blood.
Ha. Eva. Adderall. College kids. Ha. Non sequitur....Marty Scurll looks so cool. Anyway....I like butts so this match is right up my alley.

The Miz vs Apollo Crews for the Intercontinental Championship
Did either of you guys see Miz and Maryse laying on top of Renee Young's Spaceship? It was great. Hopefully we get a sweet crane shot.

Enzo Amore and Big Cass vs Jeri-Ko
Good on the mic, good on the TV feud. I hope the promos are longer than the match. Kinda wish KO had a bigger spot on the card though.

The New Day vs The Club for the WWE Tag Team Championship
If it wasn't for WWE's long running obsession with bad testicle jokes....
I'm so sick of testicle puns. Low hanging fruit. I predict new champs.

Sasha Banks vs Charlotte for the WWE Women's Championship
Looking forward to it.

Rusev vs Roman Reigns for the WWE United States Championship
Well, all that goodwill he was creating being an angry badass....he's back to bad promos, sly grins, and probably more testicle jokes. Now he's mad that people got married. Fuck this character. It sucks.

John Cena vs AJ Styles
When do you think Cena will lose another feud? The last time was Punk right? I guess maybe DBD...but that wasn't really a feud. Is it time?

Dean Ambrose vs Dolph Ziggler for the WWE Championship
Dean has been the Dean we've wanted lately, as has Dolph. Leads me to have pleasant feelings of anticipation.  Maybe random, but it's actually been a good build.

Seth Rollins vs Finn Balor for the WWE Universal Championship
Finn Balor...the only NXT Champion to have very little chemistry with his opponents (did he have chemistry with Neville? Maybe he did). Hopefully these two have good chemistry. Anyway, Stupid belt name. Stupid dreadlock hat. Leather jacket badass is cooler than Foreign Jeff Hardy.

Brock Lesnar vs Randy Orton for the Filth Blood Championship
I just wish I didn't know about the enhancement. I think I'm trying to teach my brain to be excited, but it's hard. I'll probably be excited in the moment.

Chuck Taylor is now DUSTIN apparently? This show seems to be really long? Lots of matches. WWE is weird. Mark Wrestle mania seems lacking. Anyway...enjoy the show. Oh...UFC'S Evolution Of Punk was very....weird. Cody Rhodes is making his first indie shows this weekend. Aaaand...I'm done.

NXT Takeover Back II Brooklyn Preview

Ember Moon vs Billie Kay
I've never seen the former Athena wrestle. I hear she's good. Billie Kay has big cheeks and a small chin. Yep.

No Way Jose vs Austin Aries
I hope when he makes the main roster it changes to just "No Way." They were able to show a ridiculous character with fire and kinda make one believe he actually wants to fight Aries. I think I like the dance, but not the character.

Andrade "Cien" Almas vs Glorious Bobby Roode
I kinda feel embarrassed that I picked Almas in the SCW draft based on his CMLL/NJPW character because Cien is worse than Jose. Oh and it is fucking bizarre to be into Roode....solely based on the best theme song going.

The Revival vs Gargano and Campaign for the NXT Tag Team Championships
After months of not being into the tag teams in NXT (based on once again having characters that are having a slightly hard time getting over on the main roster even though they are being treated like "stars")....I'm totally into this. So happy for Gargano to have signed and getting his farewell tour while already getting over in NXT. If he were to ask me "Did you enjoy the show tonight?" I would say yes.

Asuka vs Bayley for the NXT Women's Championship
This is weird. If Bayley doesn't win, the story is odd. If she does win, does she show up on RAW with the belt? I guess she could lose it at a house show. Should be exciting either way.

Samoa Joe vs Shinsuke Nakamura for the NXT Championship
If this doesn't steal the show (and maybe the weekend) I will be disappointed. Yeaoh.

Currently watching Evolve 64. Sabre vs Jigsaw right now. Death Before Dishonor is downloaded and probably next. Wrestling in August is the best. More soon....


July 27, 2016

July 24, 2016

Battleground Preview

I totally forgot to write this earlier. I watched Abraxas, Guardian Of The Universe starring Jesse Ventura. It was great. I would bet that Rusty has seen it.

The Usos vs Breezango on the preshow.
Geez...this show is packed. I wonder what else will get moved to the preshow. To my knowledge there was absolutely no build for this match. So yeah...it's something.

Sasha Banks and TBA vs Charlotte and Dana Brooke
Bayley, Nia, Alexa, Nikki, Naomi.....Trish? Wild guess. I remember her saying she wanted to work with Charlotte and Sasha is tweeting that no one would guess or something. I honestly have no news or rumors. The match is a descent way to further the feud.

Rusev vs Zack Ryder for the United States Championship
Nice little feud that had continued to help Rusev get back to where he was before he jobber to Cena 3 times or whatever....and now he smells so much better. Ryder is through the moon both being on tv, and getting the pleasure of working with Rusev.

Becky Lynch vs Natalya
I bet The Marshall skips this match. I'm guessing it will be short.

The New Day vs The Wyatt Family
Really, the big thing coming out of this feud has been Bray discovering that The Pick Axe is his Sledgehammer, and Braun Strowman shirtless. Wow. Just wow. Greatly wonder what estrogen he is gonna test positive for. After a few kinda lame promos, The New Day seems to be working a little harder to compete with Enzo and Big Cass. Can't complain.....other than the tag titles being completely pointless.

The Miz vs Darren Young for the Intercontinental Championship
Well, I like that Bob Backlund is on TV with Black Cena. Remember that time Darren randomly killed it in some ppv match (it might have been RAW too....not positive). He has the chance to be great, but I doubt he'll be allowed to wrestle in a way to get over with marks...because Vince probably considers him a joke with his past, and Mr. Backlund. Hope for good things though.

The Club vs Cena's Chain Gang
Well, the promos have been top notch. I just wrote a paragraph about John Cena that I erased. Interesting with the no more house shows, and Smackdown. I think this "I'm getting older, but I've been the man for 12 years" character is just as dumb as white rapper or shoved down your throat former white rapper is lame. It just kinda acknowledges that he's old. Has anyone googled Karl's wife. I honestly haven't.

Kevin Owens vs Sami Zayn
So bummed they weren't drafted to separate shows. I had booked them out in my head for like the next two years. It included sit down promos, visits to Tijuana, only touching like two times a year. Who knows. Sami will probably just get demoted to Cruiserweight.

The Highlight Reel featuring Randy Orton
This will be a barrel of laughs I'm sure.

Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins vs Roman Reigns for the WWE Championship
This should be interesting. I passed out writing this last night. It's so weird to see a main event where everyone just feels miss cast. Will it be some weird shmoz? I have no real insight as I just want the heel that gets cheered to win.

Seems like Mauro is getting punished for being too good as he's getting saddled with JBL. Ultima Lucha was good. Seems like they went more with character building than being insane this year (still pretty insane though).  The Super-J Cup was mildly underwhelming. Lots of new faces, which made it hard to get emotionally involved. Which is the exact opposite problem of the CWC. Lots of new faces that are easily described and pontificated upon. Only complaint....I feel like I know who is gonna win every match. I guess that is the dilemma of being a diligent indie mark.

I think that's it. Enjoy.

July 20, 2016

MMS: Draft Punk



July 14, 2016

(toy post)


July 12, 2016

July 07, 2016

idle thoughts, CWC style


July 05, 2016

June 29, 2016

Small meandering thoughts on The Club

So last week I was thinking about The Club. I told Dave that I really enjoyed the apology promo. While I totally agree that Gallows and Anderson haven't really been legitimized,  (I would guess we won't see that for quite awhile....Anderson isn't home grown) does it really matter? I don't wanna get too smarky, but Meltzer reported that AJ was meant to be Tito Santana, but the crowd (and his work) made him 2000s Shawn Michaels (a super over jobber that can main event or upper mid card anytime they want....and there might be a better analogy here WWE Steamboat?, WCW Lex Luger?, I don't know). 

Anyway, the association with AJ is what is keeping Gallows and Anderson near the top (obviously). There was no way Vince would push something he didn't create as anything other than cowards. But I'm not worried for them at all. 

My thought is that "The Club" is more Bullet Club than the Bullet Club is. The Japanese/ROH version  (while still entertaining) is incredibly silly now. Omega is over the top (btw.....4.75 for the Ladder Match? Nuts), and The Bucks and Cole do their silliness too. But AJ, Anderson, and Gallows are getting to actually cut promos that are so smarmy and sarcastic that I just imagine Nash and Hall giving them lessons. It's like the characters they were playing in Japan are becoming even more realized in my eyes, because they are cutting these fantastic promos every week. And all the backstage "ski" promos....classic. 

I just think that the more they stay on TV and get these moments, they'll continue to get over and continue to prove what they can do as characters, and that's when Vince will "legitimize" them. 

Hope that all made sense and I'm not pointing out the obvious. I'm watching some more Best In The World and eating some borscht that I made, and writing this. Multitasking! Is this weekend UFC 200? I uhhhhh...want to watch it. 

Stoked for G1. Not to be negative but I was hoping for Roderick Strong and Minoru Suzuki....but alas. Apparently the Internet thinks Marufuji is "overrated" or at least not as good lately. 

Did you know that MOOSE wrote his own theme song?

Thanks for the good thoughts. Shit was stressful, and now it's just a bummer. Hopefully I'm gaining cosmic points in the Iron Man Match that is life so I can make my boyhood dream come true and what not. No more screw jobs. 

Sounds like you both have adventures in the coming weeks. Be safe and have good journeys. Poncho Out. 

June 28, 2016

MMS: Dude




Does The Marshall have anything pertinent to say, or does he just enjoy the sound of his own voice??  Stay tuned to find out!

(here's a hint: gaBdniWdaS)

June 21, 2016

MMS: A Ladder Runs Through It



June 17, 2016

The Biggest Money In The Bank Preview Ever?

Coming to you from beautiful Ashland, Oregon is my new preview. I wrote that first sentence and then took a nap. It was hard work. Last night I sat in the rain for hours while watching The Wiz. The play was great, the rain not so much.

I think Best Of The Super Juniors was fun. I wish I had made bracket thingies like we do for G1. Might have added drama? Taguchi was a surprise. I've skipped everything but the finals the last few years...so I broke my "every damn match" cherry.

It's a day later. I went for a long walk away from my folks house and found a weird off the beaten path brewery and I'm enjoying a beer and blogging.

The Lucha Dragons vs The Dudley Boyz
Ummmm...okay? Did this get booked on Superstars? I'm sad the Kalisto experiment hasn't worked (I'd argue having your US Champ lose and hang out with a lose would cause that). He really needs a ppv match where he can be Samuray Del Sol and steal the show.

The Golden Truth vs Breezango
They should be called The Narcissists. I'm really glad that The Marshall is enjoying this stuff. I feel like he might have hated this if I just described it. Oh yeah...these two matches are preshow.

Apollo Crews vs Sheamus
Big question here is....does Sheamus job? I can't see this lasting long. Apollo still needs a character. Step up from the originally announced preshow...along with 3rd ppv in a row match.....

Baron Corbin vs Dolph Ziggler
End Of Days. I completely forgot what I had to say about little Nick last month. Maybe this will be a Nick win and they'll go for another 4 months.

Charlotte and Dana Brooke vs Natalya and Becky Lynch
Anybody watch the match on RAW? Ryan and I lost it laughing at Becky bringing up Two Paws just to make a "bring out my claws joke." We were sold. Oh yeah...and Paige won that match? Weird booking.

Rusev (c) (with Lana) vs. Titus O'Neil
This is going to be such a pleasure for Mister O'Neil. He will be loving his job and the aroma of this match. It's his lucky day to job to the Sexiest.

The New Day (Big Eand Kofi Kingston) (c) (with Xavier Woods) vs. Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson vs.Enzo Amore and Big Cass vs. The Vaudevillains (Aiden English and Simon Gotch)
On paper this ppv is sounding awesome.....buy it's also sounding a little over booked. So...do The Club win now or later? Get the feeling the outcome has to do with a match happening elsewhere in the show?

John Cena vs AJ Styles
Nervous. Cena hasn't wrestled in awhile...and he's not facing Randy Orton. I hope it's good...and I hope Cena is starting his "Shawn Michaels 2000s" part of his career. But then....AJ is 38. But AJ really NEEDS a win. 


Sami Zayn vs. Cesarovs. Chris Jericho vs.Dean Ambrose vs.Kevin Owens vs.Alberto Del Rio
Well, well, well. This just sounds pretty, pretty, pretty good. My little chubster #1 draft pick sure would look good with a briefcase. The Poncho Man's TV show needs that intrigue. I actually thought your Jericho prediction was interesting....but I wouldn't be surprised if they just gave it to Del Rio....Or a returning cult leader? Maybe? 

Roman Reigns vs Seth Rollins for the WWE World Heavyweight Title
Wouldn't it be funny if Roman just lost clean in the middle and Seth suddenly became a big star? His promos may not be the most natural, but he controls a crowd so well. Essentially doing baby face promos that get him booed. He's the first guy to really do it properly against heel hero Roman. Hopefully Dean doesn't win the briefcase...he really doesn't deserve it. 

Watched Slamiversary. Technically it was probably an above average wrestling show. Personally...I couldn't handle Josh Matthews and was playing on my phone mimicking that fucker the whole time. He's horrible. The fucking worst. Brother Nero was pretty nuts. Braxton Miller? Was the worst. I literally paused the main event to win 25 dollars doing metal trivia online. Shit was bad. 

Watched an adaptation of Great Expectations at the Shakespeare Festival today. I thought it was interesting. I felt like it needed to be a little less artsy and a little more BBC. But that's maybe just me?

Enjoy the show guys. I feel like I had more to say....but I drank a couple beers. If I think of anything else...I'll text you. Wooooo.

June 14, 2016

MMS: One Key Bump





I was shopping for a couple things on Amazon the other day.  I had about $42 of stuff I needed, but you get free shipping if the order total is $50, so I started searching for some cheap wrestling gear to round out the order...


I wound up going with an extra phone charger.  White.  With car charger attachment. Hurray.

June 07, 2016

Bookmark Holla Holla

No MMS today, no point. Raw was like a commercial. Teddy Long is my favorite wrestler.

May 31, 2016

MMS: The Ol' Revolving Door



May 26, 2016

SCW Draft 2016

Here's the record of an epic texting session which lasted between 2:18 and 3:30 pm today between The Poncho Man and myself.  The idea was spawned in anticipation of the upcoming Raw/Smackdown roster split.  All WWE and NXT roster members were eligible, eventually including anyone else under contract with the company.  Tag Teams and Factions counted as a single pick.
68 Picks in 72 minutes made for a pretty snappy repartee which really picked me up in the middle of a dull day in front of a computer.

TEAM PONCHO                   TEAM MARSHALL

Kevin Owens     1     AJ Styles            
Shinsuke Nakamura     2     Seth Rollins                 
Wyatt Family     3     Roman Reigns   
The Club     4     Sami Zayn   
Samoa Joe     5     Sasha Banks   
The New Day     6     Brock Lesnar      
Cesaro     7     Bayley     
      Asuka     8     Chris Jericho
Enzo & Cass     9     Finn Balor         
     Paige     10     Mark Henry
Undertaker     11     Rusev             
Hideo Itami     12     John Cena      
      Kalisto     13     Becky Lynch
Social Outcasts     14     Charlotte              
    Alexa Bliss     15     American Alpha
Austin Aries     16     The Miz           
Alicia Fox     17     Apollo Crews
Gargano & Ciampa     18     Golden Truth               
TM61     19     Neville   
Mauro Renallo     20     William Regal      
Corey Graves     21     Booker T            
                          Renee Young     22     Hi-Res Graphic of Daniel Bryan
   Triple H     23     Randy Orton
  Emma     24     Breezango
Natalya & 2 Paws     25     The Revival              
                 Tyson Kidd     26     The Drifter Elias Samson
Christopher Girard     27     Kane                           
Alberto Del Rio     28     Sheamus                 
Rich Swann     29     Dean Ambrose
                 Andrade "Cien" Almas     30     Four Horsemen (Flair/Arn/Malenko)
Tye Dillinger     31     Dana Brooke     
                 Carmella     32     Sara "Del Rey" Amato
Adam Pearce     33     Fit Finlay           
Angry Mom     34     Road Dogg       


Some interesting points:
-No Dolph Ziggler or Baron Corbin, who have quietly been doing PPV pre-show matches the past couple months, with very little TV  time.  I might have picked them if I'd remembered them.
-Nobody picked any of the McMahons.
-I tried to pick Eric Young at the 25 spot, but Poncho reminded me that he isn't under contract.
-Poncho played "the numbers game" (Michael Cole's favorite game) by picking a total of 42 wrestlers, 1 interviewer, 2 announcers, and a cat.  I ended up with 31 wrestlers, 1 trainer, 2 announcers, 5 road agents/managers, and a photograph.
-I picked all 3 former members of the Shield, Poncho picked all 3 Japanese wrestlers.

There are probably more interesting points to glean from the lists, but it's time for my dinner.