March 17, 2016


Dear Fellas,

It's no secret that The Marshall likes to try to turn his Opinions into Statistics, and with the following list of lists, dear readers, you will find his latest batch of self-actualizing ego propaganda.  What a D-Bag.  And to talk about Himself in 3rd-person narrative?  So obnoxious.   And to capitalize His own referential pronouns?  So lame.  Maybe The Marshall needs more things to do with His time.  But anyways, as He... I.. was saying... starting to say.. um... wrestling?  Pro-wrestling.  List of lists.  Maybe it's because I liked the last round of Top Lists so much that I wanted to relive the past.  Maybe it's because I miss Booker on commentary so much that I wanted to bring back the Fave 5 rating method.  Maybe it's because I can't shut the fuck up.  Whatever the case, I've been working on this idea for an entire almost-a-whole-week, so I... He... really hopes You appreciate it, and if You would like to also share your 5 Fave 5s, then We can take the Top 5 of the Top 5 Top 5s from across The Board, print Their Likenesses out with a 600 dpi printer onto premium matte photo paper, and then place those photos on a firm, flat surface, and then We could maybe organize a Viewing Session of these photos, maybe forming a circle around them... hey Fellas, The Marshall just wants to spend some QT with some likewise-thinking, discriminating, intelligent young wrestling fans like Himself.  Read below for further details.  Divisions are organized in order of depth-of-roster, as if there were another layer of Fave 5s based on how the Runner-Ups would place on their own scale, from top to bottom. 

Runner Up: Delirious
5 Adam Cole
4 TIE Silas Young and Dalton Castle
3 Kyle O'Reilly
2 Roderick Strong
1 Jay Lethal

Runner Up: Jushin Liger
5 Hiroshi Tanahashi
4 Kushida
3 Tomohiro Ishii
2 Tetsuya Naito
1 Kazuchika Okada

Runner Up: Karl Anderson
5 Cesaro
4 Matt Taven
3 Kota Ibushi
2 Seth Rollins
1 Shinsuke Nakamura

Runner Up: Bayley
5 Sasha Banks
4 Asuka
3 Sami Zayn
2 Kevin Owens
1 AJ Styles

Runner Up:  TIE Chuck Taylor and Mike Bailey
5 Timothy Thatcher
4 Zack Sabre, Jr.
3 Orange Cassidy/Fire Ant
2 Ricochet/Prince Puma
1 Chris Hero

Of course, with the fields limited to 5 Faves in 5 categories, several of my favorites didn't place... and so it's tempting to do another set of lists, like a Tag Team/Faction list to include New Day, Young Bucks, and Golden Truth... I could also have done a 2nd Runner Up list to include some of my other Faves like Christopher Daniels, Kenny Omega, Stardust, Matt Classic, Chris Jericho, and Tama Tonga.  And for the record, I wasn't being facetious about how much I miss Booker T on commentary.  If he were still at The Table, he'd easily make a Fave 5 list (with respect to Excalibur, Corino, Striker, Quack, and Chikarason).

Unfortunately, Lucha Underground is barely represented, and TNA is not represented at all in any of the lists here. Quarter Marshall mentions this fact to humbly acknowledge His purposeful non-involvement, despite His fandom of Lucha Underground and (to be specific) of Madison Rayne.  Them other hot-again-cool-again basserds can tug their bottom-pants up toward a half-dozen auxiliary hooks mid-way outta reach, despite whomever they think they represent.  That's an easy quote by someone whom no-one would ever believe said that, anyway, and the even better news is that the factuality of the Idiom-Landing of 2015 will have to be fact-checked.

[EDIT] I have no idea what that means.  I wrote it really late last night, maybe a dozen drinks in, and I'm pretty sure I wasn't wearing pants.  This whole post is ridiculous, but I'm just gonna go ahead and hit the Publish button...

1 comment:

  1. I tried to go drink cheap beers this evening and reply to this, but it didn't work. Alcoholic Ex-girlfriend parked in the parking lot on Amateur Day. So I came home, drank wine and watched wrestling.

    My fave five.
    1. Shinsuke Nakamura
    2. Kevin Owens
    3. Roderick Strong
    4. Kalisto
    5. Ethan Carter III

    That's how I'm feeling today. I think Lucha Underground is just so good overall to like anyone specifically.

    My roommate loves Carter (they have some sort of weird correspondence involving the bad memes) and it's somehow seeped into my brain....and he's knocking it out of the park on TNA.

    Btw...Edge and Christian show played a game with AJ called "Will WWE talk about it?" The would talk about the Bullet Club...but would rename them The Mullet Club. The wouldn't talk about the organization AJ worked for from 2002-2015 and made his name for, but they would talk about T&A...Test and Albert. Great moment in mark joke history.

    No green beers for me. James Bond Jaws is scary in his first appearance.

    The NJ Cup Finals was a fairly lackluster show....with what felt like 1 1/2 great matches. I feel like a dick saying this but Naito should have dragged out his dragging out in outfits far it seems he's been thrown to the wolf at Invasion Attack and will seemingly need to get his heat back soon (prediction and commentary).

    Dean Ambrose talked about Brock's "baseballs" on Smackdown and I about hurled. Testicle euphanisms are my least favorite thing about PG wrestling. At least AJ and Owens had a great match to close the show.

    Carcass later today...and obsessively waiting to watch the new Pee-Wee movie. Night guys.