December 04, 2016

Don't go chasing waterfalls.

I'm laying around recovering from The Lowmen playing their first show in 14 months last night. We stayed up all night drinking booze. I think I had Rainier, Tecate, Corona, Shiraz, Tequila, and Whiskey. I don't even like whiskey. Went to bed at 7. Party! I shockingly feel more sore (headbanging and what not) than I do hungover.

Anyways, I thought I'd do a quick preview that maybe I can get done before the show starts in a half hour.

Apollo Crews, The Hype Bros (Mojo Rawley and Zack Ryder), and American Alpha (Jason Jordan and Chad Gable) vs. Curt Hawkins, The Vaudevillains (Aiden English and Simon Gotch), and The Ascension (Konnor and Viktor)

Pre show match. It hasn't started yet. Face the facts. I don't care. Oh...Peter Rosenberg is on the preshow panel with Renee and Booker. It's weird.

Heath Slater and Rhyno (c) vs. The Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt and Randy Orton)
Well, I think this is the end of the title run. At least he got an above ground pool and kept his kids fed. I can't decide if Randy is more interesting now or not. Well, I think by nature of this story going on for more than 2 weeks (Remember that awful Daniel Bryan thing?) that he is inherently more interesting. Oh...and Rhyno like shaved off his beard and has big stubbly mutton chops. It's really odd looking. As bad as Rusev's beard that he shaved so he wouldn't look like Roman Reigns.

Kalisto vs. Baron Corbin
Chairs Match
Hmm. Well I'm sure Corbin will win and this match will suck. It's too bad Kalisto has just turned into another version of Sin Cara. I miss his awkward excited badly done promos. They're the best. Are there rules to a Chairs Match? Is it just a no DQ match? I can't remember.

Nikki Bella vs. Carmella
The thing that almost every match on this card has is an extended history. I'm reasonably excited for a match that pre brand split I wouldn't have cared about. I like how Carmella has been bringing in  John Cena to her promos to say mean things about Nikki. (I sat here for a few minutes trying to think of some take to make, but really I think this is just decent television that I'll enjoy watching)

The Miz (c) (with Maryse) vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ladder Match
Well, The Miz started appearing on Total Divas this season. He's comes across exactly like I thought he would. He seems like a guy that just regurgitates things. It's like if Bryan Danielson is Van Gogh, Mike Mizanin is one of those painters that just replicates paintings that already exist. It's why he's capable of having good matches/performances, but he's still meaningless in the scheme of things, and is able to trick people into thinking he's talented. This match will probably be good, but no Shawn vs Razor.

Becky Lynch (c) vs. Alexa Bliss
Tables Match
Aw yes. My girl. Oh...and tables matches usually have a coherent rules structure. First through a table loses. So yeah this should be fun. With muscle butt.

AJ Styles (c) vs. Dean Ambrose
TLC Match
I wonder if James Ellsworth will get involved? I'd be a little more excited if I wasn't expecting tons of shenanigans. Oh, and if Ambrose wasn't an awkward joke.

The show is starting. Have I mentioned how much I hate dreadlocks? I don't understand them and I find them gross. Why is there a four man booth? I think I've given up on World Tag League. It was super boring...except Billy Gunn. Who was great.


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