October 31, 2016

Hell In A Cell Preview Review

Bananas, carrots, gummi worms, ice cream?  Did you forget the sausages, popsicles, cucumbers, and hot white cum?

It was super to read a new post on here.  Things have been quiet since the draft.  There are some questions posed in the preview, so I'm delighted to respond.  It's the closest I'll get to a wrestling conversation today, or any time soon, probably.

Oh, not a question, but I marked out harder for Scott Norton than Goldberg.  Like, way harder.

On the question of Sheamus' appeal: On this very website, one can go back and chronicle the rise and fall of my personal esteem of Sheamus.  I thought he was a fun bad guy in 2011, and when he won the Royal Rumble in 2012 I totally marked out.  It's all on tape, it's an interesting one to go back and listen to-- I think I do it every year around Royal Rumble time to hear what a happy WWE mark I used to be.  Part of the question is: was he that much better, or was I just way more of a mark?  I'll never really know.  But what I do know is that yes, within 8 months of Sheamus becoming a good guy, he became the saccharine, shit-eating dingbat that his character has not (to date) fully recovered from.  I would love to see him regain the charismatic twinkle he used to provide, but what's maybe more the point is that his move set has been stagnant for a long time, and his matches are WWE cookie cutter to the point that I've heard him be singled out as being one of the "most WWE" on the entire roster.  Ironically, that's not good for anyone.  Still, I loved his double-countout with Cesaro.  I think a gradual face turn as a new kind of character, connected to Cesaro, where they can have each others' backs could get over and give Sheamus a wider appeal, and Cesaro something worthwhile to keep him busy not winning singles titles.  That was a long-winded response, I must really be jonesin for some wrestletalk!

What does this male femenist think about the Divas going on last or not?  Impossible for me to answer because I haven't been watching the TV.  If they have the hottest feud going, it could go on last.  If it's debatable whether they or Owens/Rollins have to hottest feud, then it depends on the creative of the matches.  If one of their matches has a run-in, or a big surprise, it goes on last.  If one of them has an emotional title change, it goes on last.  If one of them has a huge cell spot, it goes on last.  The principal tenet of femenism, as I understand and practice it is: what difference does it make if they're women?

I have to acknowledge that it's impressive and awesome that Flair, Banks, Lynch, Emmalina, etc have proved their capability as rad wrestlers to the point of being an integral part of the shows, but if people are talking about how they're female, and not the angle, then the angle has gotten too meta.  With so much talk being generated about it, it's probably best just to put them on last to shut everyone up (for now).

Has there been a good HIAC match lately?  The first one that comes to mind was between Daniel Bryan and a Hall-of-Pain-era Mark Henry on Smackdown in 2011.  Actually, I just looked this up, and of course it wasn't a HIAC match, it was a regular cage match.  But I was a total mark for both of them at the time (still am), I thought it was a great tv match (just rewatched it-- still do), and that has apparently eclipsed my appreciation for any actual HIAC match in the last 5 years.  If you want to watch it, the only video I could find is in German: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNW0CDOQHio  I just tried to check the wrestlingmachine archive to see if I saved a better copy, but I think a recent storm shorted out its memory.  Fucking heartbreaking.  Good thing my XWT-Classics ratio is so high!  Hope they still have those sweet mid-90's AJPW packs on there.

Am I staying hyped?  Well, between not really caring about tonight's PPV and just finding out that my wrestling archive is toast... the beer helps.

I actually am hyped about New Japan though.  And ready to give ROH another chance, as I've been skipping their TVs for several months, but they do some good stuff sometimes.  I'm definitely not hyped on WWE, but I'll keep an open mind when I check out Owens/Rollins and Flair/Banks, since they come Poncho-approved.  QM out!
This was too long to post as a comment by a margin of 181 characters.  If I had left out the snickering phallus opener and Scott Norton confession, that would have been more than enough to bring it all down to size, but what fun would that be?

No comments:

Post a Comment