June 18, 2012

No Way Out of Poncho Man's Review

So Uhhh....I was really excited to watch this. I was telling Mr. Rusty that I was avoiding all spoilers which is insanely weird for me. I almost wish I had.....

Sheamus vs Dolph Ziggler. Pretty good match. The house seemed stoked. Which was weird because later in the show...the house was dead. Ziggler worked his ass off. Not sure which was better...This or Sheamus vs Bryan. I think maybe this was just good because the crowd was hot for Ziggler. Good ole Spirit Squad.

So I really felt like we were off to a great start. But then we get a tuxedo match. Whatever.

Christian vs Cody Rhodes was great. My second favorite match of the night. This was really great. I like these guys alot. Just a well paced, smart, great match.

This is where I noticed this was a roller coaster of a crappy ppv. The tag match was just kinda dumb. Tyson Kidd of course scores the highlight of the match. Duh. I think the big problem was that this match was pointless for me. I hardly knew why I cared. I'd honestly had never seen the Uso's wrestle before, or if I had I don't remember it. Whatever. Some crappy NXT guys won and whatever.

The Ladies Match was just absolutely killed by the crowd. Dead. So dead. Layla does the funny taunting that seemed kind of out of place and more built for a house show. As I said after the last PPV, this is just a distraction til Kharma comes back.

Sin Cara vs Hunico. Mood lighting doesn't bother me. Both are pretty good wrestlers. Hunico is probably more well rounded. Still didn't care. Wasn't Hunico the fake Sin Cara? No mention. None. Or am I high? Vince really thinks people don't remember what happened three weeks ago because he doesn't. Bullshit. Shawn Michaels started doing the figure four a full two years before his match with Flair at Wrestlemania. It made sense. He was planting seeds. Seeds need to be planted. We all remember Vader and he was mostly a WCW guy! Ug.

Best match of the night obviously goes to Punk/DBD/Kane. Just a great solid three way. What I really liked was the sparingly use of the third man interfering in the pin. So many kick outs. It really built the guys up to be great superstars rather than being losers that have to get the fresh man to save them. Glad they're keeping the soap opera aspect out of the great wrestling. I love the soap opera aspect. I watched All My Children my whole life. Anyways...good match. Felt bored I had to sit through a bunch of crap before it.

Speaking of crap. The Ryback wants three guys. This sounds like my gay roommates dream. Whatever. I'm horrified of Ryback having matches against the real talent. He looks sloppy, scary and out of control. Just like Goldberg. Of course I read Vince loves him. I'm just waiting for the internet to tell me "Tyson Kidd gets seriously injured at house show facing Ryback. Out 12 months."

Okay. I was really really hoping for a great Big Show match. I had just reviewed that old Summerslam and I was stoked. While he had some really cool spots in this match, it was slow and lumbering and all the drama was created by the outside. I really really really really hate having Cena doing this every month he fights an impossible challenge bullshit...but by the way...he can't beat CM Punk. I don't care about Johnny. I don't care about Vince. I don't care about the Funkasaurus getting involved. Just a cluster of boring garbage. Turn Cena heel already. Please Please Please.

So yeah. I give this PPV the Rollercoaster review. Good, followed by Crap, followed by good. a sweet loop de loop,  some crap, a crappy hill that isn't scary, three loops in row. ending with the crappy water splash in your face that makes you made and then comes back into the station where now you have to go wait in another line for a month hoping the next roller coaster doesn't suck so much.

I guess three good matches is better than the Matterhorn.

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