December 17, 2015

A Final Battle Preview

Hello my donut holes and jalapeño poppers,
It's time to talk about some boys who grew some boys. A moose with a big pair of horns. Two beards so big that it would be hard to tickle the salt and pepper shakers underneath. And some nuts that are just TOO SWEET.
     Yes, tomorrow brings us Ring Of Honor's biggest event of the year Final Battle. Looks to be one hell of a show.

Cheezburger vs Bob Evans
I doubt it will be on the main show but Chris Jericho's favorite wrestler takes on the evil curmudgeon Brutal Bob in a grudge match where someone will most definitely go through a table.

Dalton Castle vs Silas Young
The Party Peacock has been shocked that his Boys seem to have become Men under the tutelage of Silas and his buddy the Beer City Bruiser. Is it real? Or will The Boys abandon their wife beaters and "Fan Up?"

 Alex Shelley, Matt Sydal, and ACH vs The Addiction and Chris Sabin
After their best of five series, Matt Sydal and ACH are on the same page. The discovery that the recent red masked man is Alex Shelley mimicking and mocking his former partner Chris Sabin has been a revelation. Do Daniels and Kazarian have it in them to beat this new cohesive group of high fliers?

The Briscoes vs The Young Bucks vs the All-night Express
Kenny King's recent shocking return quickly sent the All-Night Express to the top of the tag division. But can they defeat the perennial favorites The Briscoes or those wascally Bucks. Find out who the future #1 contenders really are in this exciting three way.

Moose vs Michael Elgin
Both of these large men have been running through their opponents, in seconds flat, in recent weeks. Moose (a year into his career) is still green as grass, but size can help make up for experience. Does it help enough to beat the future number one contender to the Heavyweight Title?

Adam Cole Baby vs Kyle O'Reilly in a Fight Without Honor
The Future Shock Tag Team Explodes. O'Reilly should be the Heavyweight Champ if it wasn't for that meddling Cole. This looks to be a heated and brutal affair foe the ages.

The Kingdom vs War Machine for the ROH World Heavyweight Tag Team Championship
Those are some big beards trying to upend some very pretty men (and lady). Can The Kingdom continue their reign against the Bearded Behemoths?

Roderick Strong vs Bobby Fish for the ROH Television Championship
A new Era begins as Roddy defends his belt that arguably us now as important as the Heavyweight title. Roddy's last year has been impeccable and Fish might be hard pressed to take this title anytime soon.

Jay Lethal vs AJ Styles for the ROH World Heavyweight Championship
The Poncho Man's last MVP vs The World's Greatest First Generation Wrestler. The House Of Truth's recent addition of Taeler Hendrix has done nothing bit make the H.O.T. hotter and more cohesive than ever. But does that mean Lethal can compete with the former IWGP Heavyweight Champion that just happens to lead the infamous Bullet Club? Or will Truth Martini just will a win out of Lethal with his magical power of persuasion?

So yeah....this is what a preview looks like when there are actually stories. Not just matches on a card. I forgot to do a Takeover preview....but it was an excellent show. I hope you two catch it soon and discuss your favorite matches.'s crazy how much WCW improves when Bischoff takes over in 93....or at least becomes a product that appeals to both 11 year old and 33 year old Sandy Ravage. Going to Star Wars tomorrow morn. Wooo...most posts ever?

1 comment:

  1. This is what it's all about. I was pumped for this show, but this preview got me even more excited. Interesting juxtaposition to the TLC preview, especially with regard to your point about stories. Even the latest NXT special I thought was lacking in that department, at least outside the main event (though I have to admit I'm not an avid watcher of the weekly show).

    Castle-Young and Cole-O'Reilly have been great rivalries to see play out over the past several months, and past several years, respectively. It's exciting to see Shelley and Sabin on opposite sides of the ring, though I don't actually expect that much (too cynical). Cheeseburger and Brutal Bob have a good story themselves, and the fact that they've had the same stagnant feud for the past, I dunno, year or two, doesn't actually affect the entertainment value of their awesome matches.

    I'm not over the moon about the 3-way tag match. I don't understand why the return of ANX is any kind of big deal (I'd rather see the two feud, which seems like it would make more sense. I'd also rather see the return of C & C Wrestle Factory, and the return of Romantic Touch, so sue me). I still can't look at Jay Briscoe, as much as I try to still enjoy Mark. The Young Bucks are always rad, but they fill a real odd role in ROH, where they seem to exist more to pop the crowd than to win gold, which is nonsense in the ROH-verse. For me, the ideal outcome of this match is to set up an ANX feud, let the Briscoes fade backward (at least Jay), and position the Bucks as proper threats.

    Interesting how the ramifications of the ROH ppv bleed into WK10. Elgin will surely defeat Moose. Lethal has to retain the title, but AJ still has to look great at the end. I think. Right?

    The other matches on the card I'm looking forward to just as much or more, I just can't think of anything insightful right now. Obviously, none of us will be watching this together, inclement weather and other obstacles being what they are. However, it's just a few weeks until WK10, and I assert that we MUST watch it together. I know that Poncho and I will give this Level One priority, and Rusty, I urge you to do the same. With the Gaijin-heavy card, we'll have plenty of opportunity to trade notes about ROH and our old TNA favorites, as well as dig into the incredible wrestling buffet that is modern NJPW.

    I'm jealous that you're seeing Star Wars already. I'm still trying to negotiate a day/time to see it with a Portland buddy who I saw Phantom Menace with back in the day. It'll be hell trying to avoid spoilers.

    And no, we're still not even close to "most posts ever"! The number to beat is 14, which was acheived for 3 consecutive months in 2012, though never before or after. Appropriately, it was the time when Poncho Madness arrived in the SCW. I do think that this month might have the most comments we've ever had. I had initially imagined this site as being really comment-heavy, but instead responses to posts came in the form of new posts, which is usually better, but when things slow down, the dialogue gets more distant and seperated. Even the simplest of comments really make this site come alive, at least to my sensibilities. With all the wrestling podcasts I listen to and blogs I read, I honestly don't give a turd about anyone's opinions except you guys. So right now, the site's actually closer to what I'd originally intended than it ever has been. And that, my friends, is rock and roll. Ess See Dub! Ess See Dub! Ess See Dub! Ess See Dub! Ess See Dub! Ess See Dub! Ess See Dub! Ess See Dub! Ess See Dub! Ess See Dub! Ess See Dub! Ess See Dub! Ess See Dub!