May 30, 2012

Raw timemachine 1 25 1993

AND IIIIIIIIII E I, WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUU EOHUOUO!!!!! (Number one on the charts at this time)

It's monday janyary 25th 1993. I'm in 5th grade. I really like baseball and Michael Jackson. For some reason i don't remember this time really well. School kinda sucks, my grades are not good and i hate my teacher. Life outside of school is great. My neighborhood is full of kids of all ages. We all play together all the time. The biggest pastime is baseball which we play until we can't see the ball anymore. I don't really watch wrestling anymore. Life kinda revolves around candy and baseball.

Anyway. It's monday night. A school night, and RAW is on!!!!

So what we wanna really grab the audience right away. This is RAW. A totally fresh and new show. So how do we grab em by the balls? The REPO MAN of course! You may have forgotten but Repo still has Macho's hat. And for some reason Macho only has one. Repo threatens to repossess Macho's career while doing his best Frank Gorshin impression. Excitement!

Our commentators for the evening are Vinnie Mac, The Brain and my all time fav Rob Bartlet. They tease the show, which sounds like it's going to be full of technical, 5 star bouts. We will see the Bushwackers! Kamala! And a match by two fat jobbers by the name of Mr. Perfect and Ric Flair. Who cares....

DING DING DING Let us jump right in to a PPV worthy match. Repo vs Macho. Macho caries the match and the two actually do a good job. Savage wins, of course, and gets back his stupid, bright, shiny dumb, cowboy hat. And now all is well in the world. You can sleep well again.

Now that was a hot match. Let's keep the momentum going. Grab a couple masters of the ring and have em put on a classic. I know just the two...

Kamala VS The Brooklyn Brawler. Funny thing about the Brawler, I loved him as  a kid. I didn't understand jobbers or even upper and lower card status when i was little. Everyone was equal (except for Hulk Hogan and Beatlejuice who were gods). So i was always excited to see the Brawler. This match was what you would expect. Kamala, after wrestling for years, for some reason doesn't know how to pin someone.SO the drama came from Kamala laying on Brawler while the Brawler was face down. The audience was surprisingly stoked on this. I was not. I expected more out of these high fliers.

Ok, Flair vs Perfect. This is a loser leaves town match. Funny thing is, i wasn't really interested. Plus it was good so i don't have any funny things to say about it. Stupid good matches... Perfect wins, Flair goes to wcw. And how do you follow such a classic?

You don't. We are outta time. No Bushwackers this week. DANG. But you gotta tune in next week. They tease Doink vs Typhoon which has 5 stars all over it.

 Till next week
Rusty nickles age 10 and a half.

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