I don't remember the last time I watched any wrestling in real-time, but this Saturday I'll be watching NXT Takeover, and on Sunday Wrestlemania Thirtysomething in Eugene courtesy of Poncho Man's Network subscription. It will be fun to share the live Mania experience for (I think maybe) the first time, and I hope we'll be constantly texting with Rusty. Afterward, as we'll have expounded our various opinions on every match, I'm sure I won't be motivated to do my usual post-Mania MMS, so I feel like I need to do a rare preview as substitution. After Poncho's post yesterday, he texted that he thought his insights maybe weren't that insightful. I will report in advance that this post will not serve to elevate the overall intellectual content of our blogsite. (No offense though, I did sincerely enjoy and appreciate yesterday's post, and for my taste, Poncho's unsurety was undue.)
NXT Takeover New Orleans
I follow along with their highlights (read: Ultimate Deletion), but I haven't watched an entire episode of Raw or Smackdown in many months. I will however tune into NXT once a month or so, and I always like the show overall. As with Takeovers past, this show is primed to steal the spotlight from Mania with its great and precisely-programmed (5 match) card. Gargano and Ciampa have Styles/Nakamura level hype. The match for the new belt has outrageous starpower. The tag match will be baDAss. (That was an attempt at a reDRagon reference.) I've never been that into either Ember Moon or Shayna Baszler, but the NXT women's division rarely disappoints, so I'm game. I'll also be looking for big things out of the main event, following Almas' great defense against McIntyre, and Black's undeniable rise to being a main event player. This is going to fun, and when we're watching Mania we will miss the energy of the NXT crowd.
Cue the Kid Rock song...
It's Wrestlemania Fleur-de-lis!
Ali-Alexander: Cruiserweight Title
Like NXT, every time I tune into 205 Live I enjoy it, but I'm less motivated to turn it on in the first place. Roddy vs Itami was great, and I'm sure Cedric has been killing it, though I wouldn't know first-hand.
Battle Royals: Ladies' and Gentlemen's
These will be fun, and have some standout moments for some deserving talents, and then someone will win, which will be meaningful for a week or two. Good clean entertainment. Two thumbs up... my ass.
Bliss-Jax: Raw Women
If Bliss wins I riot.
New Day-Usos-Bludgeoners: Smackdown Tags
Poncho will have to talk me into this one, it sounds like potty break time to me.
Roode-Orton-Rusev-Mahal: US Title
I'm into this, I want to see it. As Poncho said, Rusev is super over, and that alone will make the match interesting. Mahal and Orton bring a campy bad quality, and Roode's solid.
Asuka-Charlotte: Smackdown Women
Show-stopper. I'll be in Asuka's corner 100%, but either way I'll be happy if they get enough time.
Bar-Strowman/?: Raw Tags
I was thinking Hulk Hogan could be the mystery partner, but then I heard someone say that on a podcast and thought it sounded ridiculous. I don't think they'd keep it for the last-minute surprise unless they were trying to mark us out though, so I have unreasonably high hopes. My highest hope is for it to indeed be Hogan, and for him to be booed roundly out of the building.
Miz-Rollins-Balor: IC Title
Like the US Title match, I'm looking forward to watching this, but in a much different way. I don't see a weak link here, but I'll be rooting heavily for Balor.
HHH/Steph-Angle/Rousey: Grudge?
Boy howdy do I not give a wild shit. I want to see the HHH/Steph entrance because in recent years they have absolutely killed it. I want to see Rousey because despite the internet nit-picking (maybe it helps that I haven't been watching Raw) I think she's a mega star in a way that could easily translate to wrestling. I think she's cool. Angle, dizzying heights of past glory aside, would best be put to pasture.
Zayn/Owens-Shane/DBD: Grudge!
Not how I'd fantasy-book the DBD comeback, but whatever. It's not a bad stepping stone to re-enter the main roster. Also, after watching the Kevin Owens 365 special, I was feeling bad for him that he might again feel like his stock in this year's Mania was lower than it was the previous year. But being in a spot to heel on DBD is one of the best spots on the card, and one I can see him taking full advantage of.
Cena-Undertaker
I would like it if Undertaker came out to his music in street clothes. Walked briskly down the ramp, arms swaying. "Talk to the hand, John Cena. I'm here to chokeslam Elias."
Lesnar-Reigns: Universal Title
Please let this match be short. I will cheer Roman Reigns if he can beat, or lose to Lesnar in as much time as either Lesnar-Goldberg match.
Styles-Nakamura: World Title
The real main event. I can see this being as good or better than their WrestleKingdom match, but this time there's little chance of them being upstaged. Asuka-Charlotte is the probably the only other match that might compare. I am looking forward to relaxing back into the easy chair during this one, knowing that my fandom will be duly serviced, and all will be well from bell to bell. I don't care who wins, but I'm mostly rooting for Nakamura so that they'll have to wrestle again soon.
Yay wrasslin! SCW number one forever! Forever! Forever! Forever! Forever! Forever! Forever! Forever! Ichiban! Thank you! I love you! Good night!
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