January 27, 2014

SCN: RRReview

Dear Fellas,
I wrote this originally as a comment for Poncho's post, but it was too long so now it's a real post.

Alice and I ended up buying the PPV.  We were both stoked on Bryan being (in my eyes) the favorite to take it home, and we wanted to watch it live.  It took us days of arguing to agree to go through with the purchase.  All in all, it was really fun to be watching a live PPV at home, but $55 is a lot of money for Daniel Bryan not to win.  In our conversation, I said that if Bryan wins, it will be totally worth it to watch live.  If he doesn't, it will probably be a waste of money.  It was a gamble, and I should have remembered that the house always wins. The way I felt at the finish was reminiscent of last year's Rumble, when Cena won, which wasn't that bad, but it was just kind of boring, and then Rock took the belt off of Punk, which was super depressing.

Hated to see the Rhodes' step out of the limelight, but the belts have got to get to the Usos somehow.

The only solid match of the night.  I thought that Wyatt was under-selling Bryan's stuff, but after getting beaten up so much lately, I didn't think that was unfair.  I was even rooting for him to win the match, to keep his credibility up.  Bryan was killer of course, and even used some Steamboat-esque crossbodies in his offense.  The match was fun, the finish was cool, it was a good PPV match.

Big Show-Lesnar
Fine.  At least I didn't have to watch a Big Show match.

The worst WWE match since the last time they squared off.  How is it possible for them to suck so bad against each other?  They've both had some great TV matches in the past month, but the WWE WHW Championship title matches have been absolute garbage.  The finish of the Rumble is what everyone is talking about, but this shitty excuse for a match was equally as bad.

The Rumble Match
Kofi Kingston was completely amazing.  I loved how the crowd popped for him when he came out.  Punk didn't have many spots, but his performance was outstanding.  He really kept it rolling when some of the other guys were just looking around for something to do.  The Shield was super cool.  The logic of their internal drama made sense, and was well-told, although I really hope they don't break up.  They've easily got another year in them as a unit.  Alexander Rusev had a solid debut.  I was disappointed that Xavier Woods and Brodus Clay weren't in it.  I really liked their feud, but it seems to have been completely dropped, and Brodus is jobbing to the Miz now instead of becoming a monster heel.  Sad, but it's kind of his fault for not improving in the ring.  Kevin Nash was a waste of an entrant.  Besides him, the Miz, Del Rio, and the winner were the only people I didn't think were any good.  Sheamus should have changed his look up a little, it was underwhelming seeing him back with his corny haircut, doing his stupid forearm-to-the-chest-10-times move.  I still felt kind of bad for him getting booed toward the end, though.  The end was really painful.  Talk about having the wind taken out of your sails, I felt totally deflated and confused and angry.  To me, the best thing in wrestling is when a story reaches a crescendo, and you get this great outpouring of emotion.  It takes a long time to tell that story, and the timing has to be just right.  Last night was Daniel Bryan's night, his popularity is at a fever pitch, and we've all been coasting on his ability to tell his story.  Instead, just like last year, an ex-wrestler/actor comes in and gets a massive victory right off the bat, thereby burying the roster's year of hard work.  Raw tonight is going to be interesting, they'll probably just be booing the shit out of everything.  Whatever the WWE is thinking of doing, even if their plan is to put Bryan over in a big way at Mania, the Rumble was a missed opportunity to keep the fans invested in the overall product.

In better news, I started a new job this morning teaching middle school kids about art, which was fun.  I go to my other job later today, which will not be as fun, but at least I'll be making a few bucks instead of sitting at the computer griping, which is probably what I'd be doing all day.

U-S-A U-S-A U-S-A Hoooooooooooo,


  1. Re-read this before I posted and I think I might be a little fanatical...but it's basically true so whatever.....

    I texted Rusty earlier something like this.....now with much more verboseness and information...

    I watched this morning when I woke up. Laying in bed over at the lady I'm seeings house. She was totally cool making breakfast and watching bits and pieces of the show. Needless to say....the Poncho Man was feeling pretty giddy.

    I enjoyed the first two matches...and I thought the DBD/Wyatt match was incredible. When it ended I had overwhelming joy that two of my favorites were going to go over huge by the end of the night and I'd have an absolutely incredible mark out moment.

    By the time Orton was giggling at the crowd I was some how completely taken aback. I was really happy that the room was empty when this match was going on...because I would be embarrassed to show that shit to anyone.

    The Rumble match itself was fine...but my heart, gut, mind sank when Rey Mysterio walked out. Now if I was anywhere else I would have probably started yelling, but by now my friend and her roommate were watching with me talking about how hot Roman Reigns is.

    My immediate text to Rusty was "Fuck That Noise." I couldn't believe it...I still can't believe it. I finally got on Facebook and saw Mick Foley's tweet. I couldn't believe it. I understand that the WWE loves trolling its fans. Even with that knowledge...I couldn't believe it. Even with the fact that I had read earlier in the day that the plans are for DBD vs Sheamus at Wrestlemania...I couldn't believe it.

    It's funny that I had a great day and a good time watching something that made me sick. The Chase Is Better Than The Catch to quote Lemmy....which I agree with....but I still can't believe it. Two times in the years I've watched wrestling have I felt the highest level of happiness one can feel....Michaels accomplishing the "boyhood dream" and Punk walking out, and as you just said....this was a missed opportunity....and I can't believe it happened.

    I hardly want to watch RAW even if they fix their mistake and put DBD in the main event. Even if DBD faces Undertaker...I'll still feel robbed. I don't even care that Batista mocked the audience after it went off the air...we knew he was a douche already, and it's not his fault...He did what he was supposed to do and was probably planned to do from the moment he resigned.

    It's just horse shit. You call the audible the moment the entire arena is chanting "Daniel Bryan" throughout the championship match.

    Anyway, at least breakfast was good.

  2. Well, well, well. Aint we a bunch of pissers and moaners. I was too, I'll admit it. We all watched the PPV in different ways than we usually do. We all expected different outcomes and we all were let down. But I gotta admit, I had the best time watching the show. Funny how it works out that way.

    The internet EXPLODED with shit-bags commenting on the show. Everyone was crying all over the internet about how they wanted their money back, how WWE hates the fans and how they will never watch WWE again. I was pissed when I got home ( I watched it live at a friends house) but after reading comments and thinking about it I didn't care anymore. Sure, the WWE sucks. They are mega outta touch with fans. They do stupid shit every monday, wednesday, friday and sometimes sunday because they think they know EVERYTHING about wrestling. And if you disagree you are nothing but a smark and smarks are not where the money is. So yeah. Both sides of this argument is wrong. I decided to not freak out, sit back and watch where it all goes. DBD deserves to be the top guy. He needs a good run. But honestly, if the dropped him to mid card again he would still be amazing. He always was. And that top slot doesn't always mean amazing stories. We all saw that from Punk at times. I still find his Smackdown stuff with Jeff Hardy to be the coolest thing I have seen him do. So whatever dude. We will survive. I wanna thank you two for being cool wrestling fans who take it more serious than most, and not at serious as everyone else.

    But anyway. I knew that DBD wasn't going to win the whole time. I'm a sleuth mam. I was tipped off at the Punk panel at the comic con Maren and I went to. Someone asked him if he was happy about Batato coming back. He tried to choose his words wisely and said that he was because they are friends but he would just like to see younger guys get the push. He mentioned wishing he could see DBD in the main event at mania. It was off hand and subtle but I caught it and knew that we wasn't going to win. I was tipped off again by the intro to the rumble. It showed some of the entrants giving a short promo about how they are going to win. They showed Mysterio, Big E, Ryback, The Usos and some other people. Once it got down to number 25 I thought about it and realized that DBD wasn't going to come out. Yeah I was bummed, but I was really hoping that Roman Reigns would win. Of course he didn't. And now we have fuckin Botato to watch at mania, and actually FOR THE NEXT TWO YEARS. He has a contract. GAGGGGGGg

    I'm actually more bummed about other stuff I saw in the show. I really don't think it's a good time to split the Shield yet. I agree with Marshal, they have another year in them. Also, the Rhodes could use a long period to split up. I hate how the WWE rushes everything so fast. And now that I think of it. With those teams gone, what will happen to the tag team division? The Uso bros will have the belt and not have a big ocean to swim in. Bummer, because tag team wrestling is way fun.

    Ok. the rest of the show was interesting too. DVD and Brey was great. I'm kinda amazed that Brey is still not getting cred on his skills by the internet losers. He is great, the match was great. Even tho I absolutely hated the "BDB is a crazy Wyatt" 2 week story I still loved the match.

    I really didn't like the Big Show Brock match. I love Brock matches. But in an odd way this was the least brutal one of his I have seen since he came back. Waste of time, wast of brock.

    Cena vs RKO was amazing. They both can wrestle, I have seen amazing matches by both. But good god what the fuck is wrong with them? So boring. I hated this. And I have loved chickenshit, whiny, insecure RKO. Thank god he retained. FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK

    Ok that's all. I'm going to go watch raw now. OH WAIT! I forgot to say on my last post that Tony Schiavone is announcer of the year for 2013.


  3. "Did somebody not get what they wanted?" - Triple H

    Yes you dumb prick. :) - Poncho