The Poncho Man's Wrestlemania Play Button Preview

Well....here it is guys. The show that we are marginally excited for! I didn't even take the day off. I decided to say "fuck it" and watch the damn thing at work. Btw...I now work Sunday - Wednesday.....if that helps us plan future wrestling marathons. I got a promotion. Anyway....on with the show.

The Usos vs Los Matadores vs The New Day vs Kiddaro (I stole that from The Masked Man) for the Tag Team Championship

12 people involved in this match and I like 5 of them. Can you guess which 5? This will probably be exciting and I won't care and I'll be pissed when Natalya costs them the title rather than everybody being nice and happy and eating chicken fries. I don't even like cats! 

Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

So you'll never hear this from me ever other than right now. I hope Sheamus wins. Otherwise he's going to win the Intercontinental Title and I will be upset. Mizdow and Axel are my hopes because they actually have storylines....and I guess it could be the Big Guy. This will totally rocket whoever wins to stardom like it did last year!

Intercontinental Ladder Match with a bunch of guys.

A friend of mine just recently started watching RAW. I think he sees me weekly and enjoys my enthusiasm. He literally said to me "well it is the only title Daniel Bryan hasn't held...so it would be cool if he won." I guess that is how normal people think? Listening to DBD on Jericho's podcast also confirmed that I'm not a normal person because this match I'm sure will be good.....but I'm still bummed about it. I could go on but I gotta stop being sad.

AJ Lee and Paige vs The Bella Twins

I think this might actually be good. The ladies have been getting time and btw.....Paige is hot.

Seth Rollins vs Randy Orton

I hate being kinda excited for a Randy Orton match. Just kinda. Mostly I just think Mr. Rollins is going to be radical, but I can't remember a Randy Orton match I have raved about. Can you guys think of one I've raved about?

John Cena vs Rusev for the United States Championship 

I enjoy looking at Lana on the Internet from time to time. There. I said it. Cena is even more annoying being jingoistic and Rusev does not deserve to have any Super Kick Parties. Ever!

Undertaker vs Bray Wyatt

I've only rooted against Undertaker twice in 22 years at Wrestlemania (guess when!?!). I can't decide where I fall on this. This might be the match I'm most excited for just to see the outcome. I hope there is lots of magic!

Sting vs Triple H

I've spent 20 minutes trying to think of what to say about this match. It's cool and all, but I think in reality I've been a Triple H fan more than a Sting fan. Whatever.....Go Stinger Go!

BROCK LESNAR vs Roman Reigns for the WWE WORLD Heavyweight TITLE 

If Reigns wins....we get all sad again. I pray Brock and Heyman don't break up. I pray the crowd shits on Reigns, and most importantly WWE learns it's lesson. Now I'm kinda buzzed and all passionate. I probably sound like a bitter idiot Internet mark. I don't identify with a big Samoan that can hardly say anything but "believe that!" He's not compelling. He's Kevin Nash Adjace! Grrrrr.....whatever.

Well....enjoy the show guys. I'll be thinking of you. Let's get together when Rusty gets back. That is all.