The following was too enigmatic, charismatic, and long-willowed to be a Comment under Poncho's preview:
Oh, man, the pressure is on. OK, I will guess the things you said to guess. The weird thing is, I feel like I should know this stuff, but I will literally be guessing on some of it.
I hope this really does go down as Wrestlemania Play Button, that's funny. I'm 6-beer-laughing, but I think it will still be funny in the morning.
In the 4-way tag match, you like Kiddaro plus Natalya, that's 3. Then, you also like Big Langston, that's 4. I think the 5th is probably either Naomi or El Torito, because otherwise you would have to have a favorite Uso or Matadore. No adult with their wits about them has a favorite Uso/Matadore. Congrats on your promotion, by the way! Well deserved, I'm sure. You have a real skill with your people, which probably seems easy to you because you're empathetic and nice-hearted. I'll guess your pick is El Torito, because I think you said something favorable about him once or twice. To obnoxiously put my two cents in, I posit my own fave five as Kiddaro, Naomi, and the Usos.
I haven't been following the storylines- Raw is too depressing- but I'm right there with you in regard to your Battle Royal and IC Match hopes/concerns. I'm not as optimistic about the ladder match being any good, but if anyone can do it, D-Bry can. I heard him on Jericho too, the man is wonderful. Somebody call Nicolas Cage, we've got a National Treasure here.
Divas- power to 'em... Rollins/Orton- good in theory... Can I think of an Orton match you've raved about? Not off the top of my head. Can I think of an Orton match I've raved about? Absolutely! When he and Wade Barret had a Falls Count Anywhere match on Smackdown, and their brawl took them down a hallway and into an elevator, and then the elevator doors closed, and the black/white fisheye-lens elevator camera followed the action from the ground floor to the basement, that match I raved about. The referee had to run down the stairs. Cameramen were (inexplicably) waiting there. Wow television.
Rusev/Cena- is it for the title? If Cena wins the title, that would be cool. If Cena wins, but not the title, that would be shit. If Rusev wins, it will be a miracle.
Actually, if Cena wins, but not the title, and Rusev shitcans the US title on Raw, that could be okey. One main event title and one midcard title makes more sense, plus it would make room for something more fun and generationally relevant, like a TV title (defended on every show) or a hardcore title (defended throughout every show).
Taker/Wyatt- the only match I'm even remotely looking forward to. Also hoping for magic spells and ritual occultism. This is the second Guessing Game you've challenged... I'm probably wrong, but I'll say Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels 2.
OK I just wikipedia-ed it, and I'll change my guess to HBK 2 and CM Punk. Or maybe I should change that to Punk and HBK 1, since there wasn't the retirement stip in the the first one, and you must have been sad to see your #1 Dude bow out. Woah, was it both HBK matches? Did you really want him to win both? In whatever case, if you have the time, I'd love to hear about the reasons why you wanted the Undertaker to lose twice. Especially because you've followed Wrestlemanias for so long.
Sting/HHH- Bat/Hammer- Vigilante/King- Facepaint/Forehead- ?? With my expectations being so low, they might surprise me. Go get 'em, boys! Sudden thought: If Sting randomly dies during this match would it alleviate enough of Rey Mysterio's misplaced guilt for him to continue wrestling? Am I evil for thinking that it would be worth it? I'm not evil. Loo cha! Loo cha! Loo cha! Right, I'm not evil, I'm just a stupid asshole.
Lesnar/Reigns- shudder. WWE could really make some money if they could make people pay money to NOT see this match. I'd shell out 9.99 a month if I could erase it from my consciousness. Nothing against Lesnar, I'm just riding heavy on the anti-Reigns train. I love wrestling too much not to be. "Kevin Nash-adjace" might be one of the harshest things I've heard about him, but I love it, that's spot-on.
I kept checking this site today, every several hours, to see if there would be a Poncho Preview. Or should I say a Poncho King Preview by The Fall of Hammer Sandy Ravage? I can't believe Nash headlined. My Facebook friend Bryce Remsburg (he friended me, I swear) posted: "Kevin Nash headlining over the Macho Man makes my wrestling nerd cry all of the nerd tears. It's like seeing Nickelback go on after Billy Joel."
Please don't tell my dear friend I said this, but Billy Joel could get gang-felched by Nickleback in the back of a '94 Jetta and it wouldn't mean a tit to me. I can relate to the sentiment of the Senior Official's statement though, I'm not a complete monster. Nash is a smart-ish dude, and has the reputation of being the guy who was able to secure guaranteed pay for himself and eventually the rest of the locker room. Not positive on the facts, but the bottom line seems to be that as much as he sucked, he had a positive mark on the business long-term. That being said, why not have him headline another year, and give Macho this one? Maybe because Savage was kind of a piece of shit in real life? A lot of fans give him a pass even though it's pretty well known how controlling he was of Ms Elizabeth, which is enough to turn me off of him. Still, it's nice when the Hall of Fame reflects the fantasy we'd all prefer to remember, give our nostalgia some glitz and pizzazz and dignity. They did it with Dick Warrior last year, after all. In that context, it makes no sense at all that Macho didn't headline. But what the hell, I'm rambling now. In 12 hours Wrestlemania Play Button will begin, and won't that be exciting!!!!! Won't it?? I'll find out Monday or Tuesday.
Since I've got a little extra space, and I haven't said anything super-positive about wrestling yet...
Chikara's been better this year, the EVOLVE main event picture has been great (thanks to Drew McIntyre, baleeve that, Frax!) NJPW and ROH are each very compelling wrestling brands (they're just operating at another level-- and if you're not completely indoctrinated yet, Rusty... Well, you've got a solid back-up if 'Mania doesn't live up to expectation. Join us off the grid into true wrestling hipster-dom. You belong here.
Now I'm way drunker than when I started writing this,
Mortar Seashell signing out,