Dear Mr. Ravage,

Dear Mr. Ravage,
Thank you for the thoughtful correspondance and for your support throughout the years.  It's for fans like you that everyone here at WWE strives to create the highest quality Sports Entertainment each and every week with programs like Raw, Smackdown, NXT, Superstars, Main Event and Slam.  Did you know that WWE has more Facebook followers than McDonalds?  It's true.  And McDonalds has a fucking whole lot of restaurants.  I too am a film buff.  Perhaps you have read my reviews on Yahoo! Movies under the avatar "h8rKilla69".  Personally, I'm not familiar with Malleck or Kuebrik, though.  My favorite directors of all time are Alan Metter and Michael Gottlieb who, unlike the directors you named, have never filmed a dull moment in their careers.  I founded WWE Studios with the intention of producing motion pictures of that same caliber, which is a very very high caliber indeed.

With regards,
Vincent K. McMahon
the Chairman of the Board

The I hope this isn't too long and pointless post.

 So here it is…a bunch of random musings about the state of pro-wrestling and the Poncho Man’s current extracurricular wrestling watching. After a few weeks ago and my 39 hours and 50 minutes of wrestling that I watched in exactly one week I had to cut back a little. I think I’ve probably been closer to 20 the last few weeks as I decided I needed to catch up on Breaking Bad, Sons Of Anarchy, Homeland, and Boardwalk Empire. I like TV a lot. Sit right back and enjoy….

The state of WWE: Honestly lately I have few complaints. Yes, Ryback has trouble picking up Tensai and Heyman (at house shows) and yes he won’t win the title, and as soon as he can’t lift up Mark Henry or somebody his push will end just as quickly as it started. Am I worried about the match at Hell In A Cell being a bust? Not really. I guess I just don’t care….not in a “I’m mad and hate Ryback” kind of way…just a “Whatever…I’m sure it will be fine” kind of way.

I know that the two of you aren’t into discussing what you think will happen, but I’m a little lost. I think about this time last year we knew at least 3 or 4 (or had an inkling) of the Wrestlemania card. It honestly made me really excited. That type of build up is what I die for. Months to sit back and imagine what you think will happen.

By the way, I was mildly surprised that both of you really like The Miz vs. Kofi. It wasn’t that I was bored with it (it was a pretty decent math); it just left me cold. I don’t even know if I would have been into Kofi as a little kid. I find “Boom Boom Boom” and the “Boom Drop” asinine. Worse than the Rock Bottom and the People’s Elbow. Worse than the Spinarooni and the Book End. Even worse than You Can’t See Me and the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He claps, and then sits down. Is that exciting? The Miz tries soooo hard (even if he’s a reality star pretending to be a professional wrestler), but he can hardly get heat on a guy who is quite possibly worse at promos than Shelton Benjamin. The Main Event format is good…I doubt it will last long.  The format will probably last as long as the format of Shotgun Saturday Night where they’d be in a crappy bar with a mechanical bull and Sunny would be really “sultry.” Throw in some Terry Funk and “Shotgun Saturday Night” seems like a good name! I really enjoy Saturday Morning Slam, but the last episode of that they seemed to have changed the format and gotten rid of the funny “learning” moments. This makes me want to write a letter to Vince….

Dear Vince,
I have watched WWE nearly all my life. It is one of my favorite things in the entire world. Just wanted to let you know that I also love the films of Terrance Malick and Stanley Kubrick. If you didn’t know…they create really long incredibly boring and awesome movies. It’s good stuff.

Just thought you should know,
Poncho Man

The state of ROH: I watched Glory By Honor XI. I loved this show. Basically a perfect ROH show for me. Yes the last one was plagued with technical difficulties, but they made up for it…with literally over 3 hours of wrestling. I though Jay Lethal vs. Davey Richards was incredible (my favorite Davey Richards match I’ve ever seen).  Spirit Squad Mikey is a lovable nut. Wrestlings’ Greatest Tag Team is always a blast to watch. The main event of Kevin Steen vs. Michael Elgin was tied in my brain as the best “big dudes” match I’ve seen in awhile (oddly…I really like Kane vs. Big Show the other night on Raw). Then the El Generico tease was incredible (minus the crowd seeming to already know) . I was watching clips of Jim Cornette talking about how he would have booked the WCW Invasion angle….he was just going on and on about making things “real.” Everything ROH has done with Kevin Steen has been about making things seem real. While Davey Richards might have really made that belt mean something….he could have never been the mouth piece for an angle involving lawsuits, and spitting on parents etc. I really think that this is incredible stuff going on.

I said earlier that I was starting Pro Wrestling Guerilla from the very beginning. Over a hundred shows so really I just plan on skimming, and stopping on shit I like. PWG is the foul mouthed version of Chikara. The commentary is usually done after they tape the shows by Excalibur, Disco Machine, and a silent Super Dragon. It’s all a bunch of jokes that don’t quite make sense, and really just a couple of guys obviously trying to entertain themselves. It’s where Frankie Kazarian really became “known.” “ScrapIron” Adam Pearce is probably the top heel. I know that The Marshall loves a tournament, so you might enjoy Bad Ass Mother 3000 Nights One and Two as they crown the first champion. I didn’t really think the company got really moving until “Inch Longer Than Average” which featured a short CM Punk vs. Samoa Joe match, and I’m pretty sure an awesome Kazarian, Chris Daniels, AJ Styles meeting. Don’t quote me on that….I watched a lot of PWG in the last week. The crappy part is that I don’t really like any of the PWG home grown talent. Minus Disco Machine they all kind of look like out of shape skinny guys in bad costumes. One thing Chikara gets right….COSTUMES LOOK AWESOME! But really, when I basically watch the show for guys I already know (CM Punk, Samoa Joe, Chris Daniels, AJ Styles, Colt Cabana, Adam Pearce, Bryan Danielson…all ROH guys) and I get completely bored with “Hook Bomberry” and BBoy (who seems like a Homicide rip off in a boring way)…maybe it says something. Knowing me though….I’m sure I’ll probably watch it all and get completely caught up in a year and love it to death.

Finally as an update….Evolve 2 is at 81.7% on my computer. 3 and 4 are complete. 5 is 18.1%. 6 is at 0%. 7 is complete. I’m still into it….it’s just taking forever. I’ll have responses to The Marshall’s posts when I can. We should have some new Chikara shows soon. DragonGate USA is doing 3 shows I think at the beginning of next month.

I said this to Rusty the other day….wrestling is pretty good right now. I haven’t been really really mad at WWE in quite awhile. We’re getting good matchups and Randy Orton is high mid-card. Just pray Batista or Bobby Lashley doesn’t come back. In the end though….wrestling fans can always find something to bitch about.

SCN: Hiatus Wrap-Up

Greetings all,

So, I haven't posted in a while, and my notes are piling up.  Here's the last 3 weeks worth:

SMACKDOWN

Week 1: Punk>Ziggler was a good match.  BS and Sheamus feud=zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Week 2: Bryan<ADR was a good match.  Rest of show=zzzzzzzzzz(literally fell asleep)zzzzzzzzz  JBL joining Josh Matthews was fun, though.
Week 3: Better.  Miz opens with another great promo on Kofi.  Two good tag matches.  Cesaro.  Cool Wade Barrett promo, another decent match with Sheamus.  3MB cut a promo so bad I half expected Ryback to appear and job them out.

Conclusion:

Most of Smackdown blows, but it's worth watching if you've got your finger on the fast-forward button.

TNA IMPACT

Week 1: Samoa Joe>RVD retaining TV title=good match.  Also liked a short X-Div. match, Zema Ion>Doug Williams.  Bully Ray cuts a couple great babyface-ish/tweener promos (same basic character, he's still awesome), winds up being chosen as Sting's tag partner vs. Aces & Eights for BFG match.

Week 2: Pretty dull until end segment.

Austin Aries theory:

There are many comparisons to be made between A-Double and CM Punk.  Both fan favorites with Indie/ROH roots, both basically used as paper champions for long stretches for their respective promotions.  Week 2 of Impact ended with a work-shoot by Aries which was reminiscent of Punk for obvious reasons.  He came out with a script, announced he wouldn't be reading it, but it's live TV so he's gonna do what he wants, went on to cut a promo on Jeff Hardy, his BFG opponent, which gave an interesting spin to the end of the show.  My theory is that the work-shoot was staged to take any previous comparisons with Punk even further, in some kind of attempt by TNA to be purposefully unoriginal.

Week 3: Decent follow-up to the PPV.  Nothing stood out in particular.

TNA BOUND FOR GLORY

Very cool to see TNA outside of Impact Zone, very hot crowd with their own opinions.

Zema Ion<RVD New X-Div champ.  RVD the bigger star, but was plainly outperformed in this match.

I wasn't looking forward to Storm>Roode, despiteit being the culmination of a year-long feud.  TNA dropped the ball with this IMO, it could have been built a lot better.  They had a cool match nonetheless, it got me into it, Roode having an especially good performance.  The most impressive part was when he got a superkick, and landed into a puddle of thumbtacks.  The impressive thing was that the camera was zoomed in on his face, and he didn't flinch when he landed, as though he was truly KOed.  Usually not a fan of bloody, gimmicky matches, but this one used it all well.

C Daniels,Kaz<Hernandez,Chavo>AJ,Angle was a good match for the tag titiles, but horribly booked.  Hernandez and Chavo are the new team on the block, they had no feud and no momentum.  It was just a babyface win, meant to pump up a crowd that didn't need that pandering shit the way the Impact Zone does.  CD&Kaz should have retained with a pin over AJ or Angle, sending them into a singles feud, and setting up Hernandez&Chavo to chase the titles proper.  You guys know I hardly ever do armchair booking, but this one just seemed obvious.

Tara>Tessmacher another title change.

Sting & Bully Ray<Two Members of Aces & Eights.  Last minute change to being a no-dq match.  Dumb, the stip makes it obvious A&8's will win.  With win, A&8's gain full access to the Impact Zone, whatever that means.  Sting and Bully were an awesome team, at one point pulling off a perfect Doomsday Device.  Bully came out in old school Sting-ish facepaint, and is somehow a radical babyface.  Devon is unmasked as A&8's leader, which is a great reveal only because Bully is the best character in TNA, and it gives him something really worthwhile to do.

The crowd is split for Aries<Hardy, which was a good match.  Hardy's used to being unanimously cheered, but there are a lot of anti-creatures in the crowd.  Both sides of crowd were very hot.  Hardy winning the TNA title is a horrible joke, and a shit smear in the face of contemporary pro wrestling.  Wonder if having Aries feud with Hardy is another way TNA would like him to mimic Punk.

TNA Conclusion:

Bully Ray rules.

SUPERSTARS

Week 1:  Barrett>Kidd good, both were cool.  McGillicutty<Otunga former tag champs were actually pretty decent versus each other.  Tensai>Tatsu was an okay match, Tatsu was really good.

Week 2: Barrett>Kidd, Gabriel<Cesaro were each okey.

Week 3: I have not watched this TV show yet.

Conclusion:

I dunno.  I watch wrestling.

NXT

Week 1: Kidd&Gabriel(really cool)<Ascension(so corny, audience was laughing at them) was a good tag match.

Week 2: Punk promo, joining Regal and JR on commentary was a treat.  I loved Johnny Curtis' character, entrance, and in-ring work, but he lost to worst spear ever by Bo Dallas, looked like he fell on him.  Good divas match.  Rollins>McGillicutty=great match.

Week 3: Damien Sandow promo and match, always a "welcome" addition to the show.

Conclusion:

Always has something going for it.

MAIN EVENT

Week 1: First ep.  Punk>Sheamus surprisingly weak.  Worst Punk match in a long time.  Notable because Sheamus was pinned for the first time in over a year.

Week 2: Kofi cuts solid promo on Miz.  Really liking Kofi on mic lately.  Skipped BS v. Orton.

Week 3: JBL and Cole great on commentary.  Nice Kofi package, great Miz "is annoying" package.  Kofi>Miz great 15 min. match for IC belt.  Great post-match promos by both.  All in all, excellent 25 minutes of pro wrestling TV.  I got a little emotional.

Conclusion:

Cool for having it's own production (unlike Superstars), and for giving a match a good amount of time (for WWE), but dependent on quality of match for show to work.

ROH GLORY BY HONOR XI

Bravados<Alexander&Coleman was a really good opener.

Lethal>Richards good

Rhino<Tadarius Thomas was cool.  TT's new, and was really impressive.  Very cool looking offense.  Future player for sure.

Eddie Edwards<Adam Cole good

Briscoes<SCUM good

Steen>Elgin great main event.  Steen was whatever, but Elgin was awesome.  After match, a box is delivered to ring, Steen opens it, pauses with look of fear and disbelief, pulls out El Generico's mask!

Conclusion:

Was almost ready to give up on ROH, but Generico, Lethal, and Elgin will keep me coming back.

RAW

Week 1: What a maneuver!  Best main event in ages.

Week 2: JR is fantastic on commentary, Cole very good also.  BS>Bryan, Cesaro>Gabriel, SheamusxBarrett, Scholars>E&P all good matches.  Ziggler chokes on the mic.  Striker is killed.  Miz finds perfect foil in Kofi, they have great promo segment and a good match.  Eve>Layla match of the night.  Eve kicked ass.  

Week 3: Hope Rusty will cover this, and I can just comment on his post.

Conclusion:

Hits and misses.  Pro wrestling marches on.  Right now I'm more excited about Kofi and Miz than anything.  Weird, huh?

This may be the greatest moment in wrestling history!

Poncho Man Mat Classic

 Been off the map for a few days...I just started watching Pro Wrestling Guerrilla. From the very beginning. As in I'm working on every show they've ever done (about a 100 or so). I'm actually fast forwarding through a lot of it because it's not the greatest...but a good AJ Styles vs Frankie Kazarian match headlined the first show. So I'll have a review of the first year in a week or so probably.

In the mean time....I randomly found this on the internets. Now the CM Punk dvd tells us these guys have wrestled hundreds of times...and this probably isn't one of their best matches...but I really enjoyed it. I think mostly for the very straight commentary that puts them over very very well. And it's introduced by a big breasted blonde British babe. Bonjour Boys!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4UtOsujdMQ&feature=related

Rusty Report

Hey fellas. Rusty here. I have been layin in bed for the past 30 something ours sick as a dog. I dunno what hit me but it hit me hard. I was too sick to type. So here I am today, not throwing up. Able to eat. Ready to type a billion words. 

Yeah, type. I think my recorder is dead. It sounds all swirly and weird. I am going to look into getting a new one sometime soon. Till then we will be typing like in the old email days of SCW. 

And remember how i talked about having a new format to my show? Well I take notes with a few categories so i can keep things clean and in order. Well, i dunno how it will translate in text but ill type it up that way anyway. 

Ok here we go

RUSTY NICKLES PRESENTS: 

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY

THE GOOD

The commentary is great with JR, Cole and the other guy. I like how serious it is. You could say that it has been better since Lawler has been gone but I think it's more that Cole is not a fucking idiot anymore. And commentary can ruin a great show. So it has been great lately that they have taken things seriously.

This episode had some great matches. I thought Shaemus and Barrett was great. I completely freaked out for Punk and Vince. I thought it was awesome. Sure, Vince is 67 and not a wrestler but who cares. I was having a great time watching that match.

I am 100 percent sold on Rhodes Scholars. That is a great tag team.I really hope they make it to the finals. My guess is that Mysterio and Sin Cara will win and whocares whatever. Rhodes Scholars have a reason that they are a team. Sin Cara and Mysterio both wear masks, not good enough. Whatever, Rhodes Scholars are awesome.

"The Encore"! I think that;s what they call themselves. It's Drew Macentire, Jinder Mahal and Heath Slater. I LOVE this. It's three guys who don't fit at all who come out and beat up people and then air guitar. It cant get better than that. Drew Macentire even headbangs which is the stupidest thing i have ever seen in my life. I really hope they get more tv time.

And finally. Paul Haymen is awesome.

THE BAD

The segment with little jimmy and the dance party was stupid. I hate that crap. I know that kids watch it but kids are not stupid. I hope they ditch little jimmy and make the funkasaurus a heal soon.

The Primetime Players lose AGAIN. I think they are a good tag team. Lame.

The whole thing with Larry King made me want to jump off a bridge. It was horrible. I hate watching celebs "act" when they are on a wwe show. It sucked. And then Kofi came out and I had some hope. I wouldn't mind a Miz Kofi feud. But it didn't make any sence why Kofi would attack Miz. It was all stupid.

Arnold as social media ambassador? Stupid.. He said at one point something like "I DEFINITELY will be back for that." Which is the dumbest thing ever said in history.

THE UGLY

This Ryback push. Can it work? The guy just got shot to the main event and hasn't said more than 3 words at a time.  I really liked Ryback until he ruined the Vince and Punk match. And instantly i turned on the guy. But that's just me. I wonder if he can hang in the main event picture after Cena comes back. Or will he be dropped like Tensi and Swagger and a million others.

I have probably said this before but Sin Cara's Titontron is the worst thing ever. it looks like public access 1990. It cracks me up every time i see it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdAMw0HJjQ4

Not all things in the ugly section are bad. Antonio Cisaro's uppercut is super ugly. An actual finisher that comes quick and looks like it hurts. I love it.

WINNERS

PUNK and Vince won big time on this show. The match was great. The highlight was when Punk put on the headset and yelled "WHAT A MANEUVER!" mocking 80's vince. 

LOSERS

I guess the only loser this week is Wade Barrett for having a unimpressive return to the WWE. He was higher on the card before he left than when he came back. Its sad. I found him a credible bad guy with the Nexus.

And one last thing

5 REASONS I WATCH WRESTLING

TYSON KIDD

PUNK

DBD/KANE

RHODES SCHOLARS

PAUL HAYMEN

Thats all for me suckas. RUSTY OUT!

SC Newsletter: 3:16 and Counting

Greetings all wrestling fans,

I don't have a hell of a whole lot to say about this week's fresh offering of pro wrestling programming, and I've been slacking on the production of the Marshall Matters Show lately anyway, so I'm just gonna take these notes and opinions and punch 'em into the website word-style.

Smackdown was a pretty decent wrestling show this week, though the quality content was bookended by dumb shit.  The show opened with BS and Orton cutting promos in the ring, and ended with BS and Orton having a #1 contender's match.  I can't tell you how bad these segments sucked, because I skipped through them.  But there was plenty else in the show to make it worthwhile.
Antonio Cesaro had ANOTHER (the 8th by my count) match against Santino, AGAIN for the title (4th title match, I think), and with the same result AGAIN (Cesaro's won every time).  Not that any of that really matters though, since they generally have good wrestling matches, this week's example being no exception.
Beth Phoenix and Natalya had a noteworthy match.  They had a decent amount of time, and showcased their ability to have a quality match without any dancing or other dumb shit.  With the talented Eve as champ, these two having no-nonsense bouts, and Kelly Kelly being future endeavored, it has been a good week for the Diva's division.  Oh yeah, and Kaitlyn looking hot on Raw, that was good too.
Ryback and Tensai's match on Raw was kind of disappointing, with Ryback not being able to get the huge Tensai over his shoulders.  On Smackdown, the move came off without a hitch and it looked amazing!  Seeing these two guys in the ring together made me feel like a giddy little boy.  Also, it was funny that the smarks didn't know whether to chant "Albert" or "Goldberg", so they just stopped.

Everybody who knows Quarter Marshall knows that Quarter Marshall loves a tournament.  The tag team tourney for the #1 contender's position began on Smackdown, and that also made me a little giddy.  I would've liked to have seen the Usos get a little further than the first round, but at least they had a match on TV, and were putting over a cool team and not The Ascension.

Many months ago, over in the world of TNA, Hogan announced that the TV Title would be defended on every episode of Impact.  D-Von won the belt and defended it weekly for a while, then disappeared.  Turns out his contract had run out, and TNA clumsily allowed this to happen while he was still a champion.  Samoa Joe and Mr. Anderson had a match to crown the new TV champ this week.

Here's to hoping for the re-installment of weekly defenses, and a long and prosperous reign for Joe.
Something unintentionally funny happened on Impact this week.  Hulk Hogan, who supposedly runs the show, and Sting (his BFF) were violently abducted by Aces & 8s in the middle of the show.  What do the rest of staff and roster do?  How do they react?  Well, apparently they're all oblivious to it, the show just goes on without a hitch.  The only explanation I can think of is that even the people who work for TNA don't watch the show.

I haven't mentioned ROH for a few weeks because the TV show has mostly just been replays of Boiling Point matches.

I liked the match between Kassius Ohno and Richie Steamboat on NXT this week.  Too bad Wade Barrett's new gimmick is so similar to Ohno's.  I don't see Ohno getting called up anytime soon.  I do like his hipster glasses thing, though.  It's about time someone used a hipster gimmick!  He should take it all the way, making obscure references to golden age wrestlers and extravagantly worded maneuvers in promos, like "when Maxwell Corneschmidt pioneered the Danish fisherman's buster, it was so ahead of it's time that even he had no idea what he was really doing."  His catchphrase could be "I doubt it."

Saturday Morning Slam has continued its streak as being the most consistently entertaining WWE show going.  Santino and Heath Slater had a fun, goofy match, and the rest of the show was fun as well.  I also watched the new TMNT show this week, which I thought was really cool, so that makes 2 Saturday morning kids' TV shows I'm into.

I didn't like Raw.  Between the over-long in-ring segments with Punk, debate between BS and Sheamus, a general lack of good matches, and Michael Cole dictating the tweets of Larry King, it was a looong three hours.  There were some cool parts, though.
1. Antonio Cesaro picking up and dropping Brodus Clay.  Incredible!
2. The faction of Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal, and Drew McIntyre.  It cracks me up how horrible they are.
3. Wade Barrett telling AJ off backstage.  This was only about a minute long, but it was fantastic.
4. Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow.  A really good match.  Easily the highlight of the program.  Sandow was amazingly crisp and slick, his style and technique are really impressive.  Kudos to Sheamus as well for helping make Sandow look so flawless.
5. I did like the first half of the promo segment between Punk and JR.  It was pretty intense, and I thought JR was the man.  But it went on for too long, and then Ryback staring Punk down and scaring him away might have been the lowest point of the week for me, from any program.  I had a hard time concentrating on the rest of the show, so I'm not even sure if the main event was any good.

My extracurricular of the week was watching the rest of the Ric Flair interview which I'd started a few weeks ago.  We're talking 7 hours of stories, and I really enjoyed it.  I kept it on while doing a bunch of chores, I wasn't just sitting there looking at his talking head that whole time.  I'd recommend it as being a quality production, packed full of information, but I'm not sure if you guys would like it or not.  You might just want to check out the promotional highlights on youtube. (search: Ric Flair interview preview Highspots)

That's my spiel and I'm sticking to it.  QM OUT

CHECKIN IN WITH RUSTY

So i was all ready to post. I was excited. I had a giant page of notes, new batteries, and all the time in the world to talk about wrestling to myself. I recorded a whole podcast. And once it came time to put it on the computer i realised that my recorder is messed up and it sounded horrible. Like I'm in  a echo chamber or something. Worse than my computer. I was really bummed too because i streamlined my show a bit and was excited for you to hear it. Oh well, Ill try to figure something out for a show next week. If i cant find a way to record ill write a big post.

In other news. I bought my first Blu Ray today. I got the best of wwe ppv 2009 - 2010. I hate watching movies on blu ray, I feel like it makes movies look too real and not cinematic enough. But when it comes to wrestling i love them. Wrestling is supposed to be real. So weeing the pours in peoples faces and every hair on their head is a good thing. So today i geeked out on this video. Some matches were ok (Edge vs Jeff Hardy) some horrible (RKO vs Cena, i quit match, piece of shit garbage) and one was amazing (Punk vs Jeff Hardy , TLC, one of my faves ever)). I am worried tho. Now i want to start collecting wrestling blu ray. Gotta hold myself back. But it will be hard, the CM Punk bly ray comes out in a week and I WANT IT.

SO! Lets talk. What do you guys think of a SCW sleepover? I'm thinking we could do a marathon. One day or two. I don't care. And I don't care where it happens. It's just an idea. Thoughts?

OK off to watch the Funk Mat Classic. Just a reminder, New Are You Serious is up. Road Dogg rules.