February 20, 2016

Fast Lane 2016 Preview

Hey guys, I think I'll make this short and sweet as I'm currently in the middle of the half time of the Honor Rising show from Japan. Moose with a big win? I've been a crumudgeon and grump lately, but things might be looking up here pretty soon. Here's a preview.....

Kalisto vs Alberto Del Rio for the United States Championship
On the preshow. How weird. Are they really gonna squash Kalisto so he can get back with the 1000 pound gorilla on his back called Sin Cara? People need to win to get over. John Cena and Randy Orton almost always win....they're over. Did you guys hear about the Cruiserweight tournament thing they are doing? Do you think Kalisto will be in it? Or will it be the big tv debut of La Sombra (whatever his name is now)?

Cutting Edge Peep Show With The New Day
This will be funny and I'm excited for Edge and Christian's Show That Totally Reeks Of Awesomeness. It will be juvenile and maybe as good as The JBL and Cole Show (featuring Renee Young) or that show with Josh Matthews, The Road Dogg, and Puppet H. Speaking of Josh Matthews....I've been watching TNA lately. ECIII and Matt Hardy are really entertaining, and Odarg The Great is great. It's weird...because the Knockout division sucks now, and the announcing is trash...but the show is watchable. It's like bizarro TNA.

Ryback, Big Show, and Kane vs Luke Harper, Erick Rowan, and Braun Strowman
My roomie Ryan loves Braun Strowman and bought a black sheep mask when he went to Smackdown. He and his friend made me answer the front door when they came back..and they were wearing their masks. It was a little horrifying. Ummm...other than that....this is a match. There are some big people in it. Strowman's stupid Tribal/Superman Tattoo on his arm will continue to lower my suspension of belief.

Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks vs Team B.A.D.
We say "UNITY" all funny in my house all the time. Becky dyed her hair blonde according to Instagram. I feel like there was more build up to Paige and Summer Rae than this match....but I don't know...it's hard to pay attention to RAW these days.

Charlotte vs Brie Bella for the Divas Championship
Awwwww....how nice that they threw Brie a bone. The promos building this up weren't terrible....but I don't understand why Charlotte talks more than Ric does, but apparently when "Ric is Ric" he does things that get him in trouble like kiss Becky (edited off the network) even though I thought that was funny.

AJ Styles vs Chris Jericho
Wow....I just typed that. The storylines and what not have been solid so far. Not because it's good, but because AJ and Chris are pros, and Mike is overachieving like nobodys business. I'm guessing that this will just be the next part of the story...

Kevin Owens vs Nick for the Intercontinental Championship
So yeah, somehow Nick Nemeth on Total Divas is like the greatest pseudo sleazeball in the world. I'm pretty sure it's all a character for the show, but boy is it entertaining. The night Nikki Bella became the longest reigning Divas Champion Nikki, Brie, Paige, (Karl Anderson just said "hot asian wife in the front row) Alicia, Natty, Renee Young, Rosa, Mandy, Eva, and Nick all went out to dinner. Never addressed why Nick is there. Oh anyway....Kevin Owens is good. He's a good wrestler, tells good stories, and is logical. Currently...He and Kalisto are my "guys." Kinda like a "Fave Five" but not arbitrary. Those are my two guys that I cheer for no matter what and mark out for.

Brock Lesnar vs Dean Ambrose vs Roman Reigns for the right to win at Wrestlemania and get shoved down our throats.
I'm sure this will be an exciting match that I have absolute zero interest in. The build to this has been less than tepid. Ambrose is an annoying cartoon character and Reigns can't keep is bumbling mouth shut (then he punches). This is one of those matches where I hope Brock Lesnar just eats them, but that would never happen because he's a titan or some shit (Bray Wyatt promos...). I really am a grump....or is WWE just that bad? I don't even think Mr. Heyman has been good lately. I literally can't remember any of his promos at all. No recollection. You'd think he'd have a new catchphrase by now. Whatever, Congratulations Roman on Main Eventing Wrestlemania 2 years in a row.

Did you know if you use Google Translate for English To Arabic...Sami Zayn transtlates to El Generico?
The Temple is a much Darker Place and win or lose, Pentagon Jr. is one of the best things going.
How great is Asuka? She can hardly speak english and her charisma is just mind blowing.
If you want to see really awful wrestling memes...check out "The Dark Grid" on Facebook. My roommate and his buddy make them, and it's now ECIII approved I guess. It's named after Bram (I guess), or the ex Mr. Charlotte Flair, or the guy that Ric Victor replaced.

Okay, there is this match about to start. I guess Roderick Strong is wrestling Tomohiro Ishii or something. I think I should pay attention to it. (Los Ignorables and The House Of Truth was adorable). Enjoy the ppv.

1 comment:

  1. You're not wrong to be a grump about the WWE. 100% of the enjoyment I've found in it in the past several weeks have been far removed from the main event. Looking at your post, it looks like you're mostly bummed out about the WWE WHW Champyonchaw contenders. On the bright side, you named the current US and IC Champs as your main dudes. WWE think they know how to book talent to their full potential, but they don't know how to get them over on TV anymore, unless the wrestlers themselves know how it's done themselves. And still it's impossible for them to get as over as they should be. Okay, now I'm on a rant, so I must be grumpy too. Sorry I brought it up. My point was supposed to be that the midcard is OK, even if the main main event is being booked like shit.... but the midcard is really suffering on this PPV. Thank doggies for New Japan and ROH. I'm in the middle of day 2 of their crossover weekend, everything has been amaze-balls so far. Such a mark-out fest. Thank more holy doggies for Lucha Underground, which is outRAGEously entertaining this season. I got Pent Jr v Hero, I think I'll have to do drawings with it to fit it in my schedule, but that should be perfect anyway. I watched NXT for the first time in a long time this week cuz Rusty said that Bayley-Carmella was really good, but that must have been last week, cuz I didn't see that match. I did see Asuka though, and yeah, she's super-doop. Hard to compare to Bayley, they're both rad in different ways, but they could be my fave 2 people on the NXT roster. They're at least in my FAVE 5!