September 21, 2014

Poncho Man's Night Of Champions Preview comment

Poncho: This was too long to leave as a comment to your post.

Rusty: There is another awesome Poncho Preview Post before this, which should probably be read first.

Poncho and Rusty:  We have ridiculous fun watching wrestling together.  My house is awesome.  I propose a meet-up here at my place in Seal Rock during the second week of November, sometime between the 8th and 15th, or thereabouts.  I'll turn [a bigger number] on the 11th, and could ask for nothing cooler.  But here now, the commentary,

Yay content, hooray!  I was so excited to see there was a new post this evening, and I had fun reading it too, as always.  Stuff kept popping into my head as I was reading, so I might as well write it all out... which I guess I usually do, and end up leaving huge ass comments... more content!  So be it.  I think about wrestling so goddamn often throughout the day, might as well.

Firstly, let me address my status as a WWE-negligent wrestling fan.  I do keep up with the basics of what's going on.  I do watch Raw sometimes, though it's often in fast-forward.  It depends on how much internet buzz the episode has, which I admit is dumb because I have no inherent respect for the hive-mind bullshit opinions of the wrestling forums which I use to determine whether I'll watch or not.  As a wrestling fan, I'm kind of ashamed that I'm missing most of Bray Wyatt and Dean Ambrose's stuff, but apparently not so ashamed that I'd be willing to sit through 2.5 hours of hokey promos and (arguably) hokier wrestling.  But please don't think I'm indifferent.  I'm an actively disappointed fan.

My favorite thing going right now is Stardust.  I get your logic that it cheapens Goldust, but I have a different take on it.  I feel like Cody is less of a Quasar to Goldust's Green Lantern, and more of a Beta Ray Bill to Goldust's Thor.  He deepens the mythos of Dustin's journey as his character, and for me Cody only adds to his brother's legacy, while again proving that he can innovate in a time when most don't even try.

Damian Mizdow is another show highlight for me recently, though that doesn't give me any reason to look forward to watching the Miz wrestle anybody.

Jericho/Orton?  I thought for shizzle when Jericho did the huge cage-jump (radical pre-jump shrug by the way) that would be his "out" to go back on tour.  He usually puts over a less established guy on his way out.  Is Orton going to kill him?

"3 inch off the ground jumping thing."  There you go, Michael Cole.  "superman punch" is out.  It's probably copyrighted anyway.  If Roman Reigns's jumping thing is a Superman Punch, then I think I Superman Parallel-Parked My Car today.  I had at least three feet to work with, both in front of and behind the roadside space, but I still came in askew, no less than 16 inches off the curb.  At some point during the 8 minutes it took me to select a hotpocket to buy, make the purchase, microwave, and then eat said hotpocket at my favorite restaurant this evening, my driver's side mirror had been cracked and jammed back by traffic.  Superman Parallel Parking My Car, ladies and gentlemen.

Just kidding.  I parked my car like a Fucking Champion and ate a boss ass supper at a fine old joint.  Only illustrating a point.  Next time I will tell you about Superman Blog Comment Writing, in which everything is concisely stated.

True Story:  When I went to dinner tonight, following the waitress on our way to the table, I walked right by a grown dude wearing a "Oliver Humperdink has a Posse" t-shirt.  For some reason, my instincts allowed me to do this without making any kind of a fuss.  Believe me, I took a looooong look at myself in the mirror when we got back home.  Who am I?  Someone who doesn't need public validation for their love of pro wrestling?  No, fuck that, I should've said "nice shirt."

A Rollins-Ambrose match on PPV would make it.  Because wrestling.

Lesnar/Cena.  Don't care.  At all.  If I was watching this match in the arena live, and some dude behind me kept screaming "Cohabitate", I would not turn around to give him a dirty look.  Lesnar is a great performer and maybe the most draw-worthy physical wrestling specimen since Andre the Giant, but against Super-Cena, he's not Lex Luthor, he's Doomsday.  And those "Death of" comics might have sold a lot of copies, but I've read them already, and didn't care them the first time around.  Now, if only Cena would disappear, allowing his powers to disperse into 4 worthy vessels.  Cesaro: Steel; Fandango: Cyborg; Ambrose: Superboy; Wyatt: Eradicator.

I think the only guy I'd really be excited to face Lesnar would be Lex Luthor himself, CM Punk.  I mean, Bryan is a great heel, and is even better as a babyface, but Punk is a great tweener, and I feel like that's the kind of energy that would need to be built to have a "big fight feel" against the monster everyone loves.  With Heyman in the mix, it seems predestined.

Also, your rant about Cena reminded me of when he beat Batista in a "last man standing" match by tying him upside-down to the turnbuckle with duct tape.

Also also, sorry for all the DC references.  I'm a Marvel guy.  Let's go Wonder Man!  Wonder Man Sucks!

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