September 20, 2014

Poncho Man's Night Of Champions Preview

Hi guys. No clue if anybody is still watching. Indifference is sad. Here's some thoughts.

Paige vs AJ Lee vs Nikki Bella for the Divas Championship
Kinda hot, but disappointing that there is a cohabitating, baby obsessed, ugly blond streaks ditz also in this match. I'm a few episodes behind on Total Divas, but the premiere was based around Nikki wanting her eggs frozen, and the cliffhanger was John Cena finding out and being mad!!! John Cena comes off as the most paranoid, awful, musclehead dolt with no sense of humor. Anyway, hopefully the other two can make this good.

Mr. O'Shaunessy vs Antonio for the United States Championship
I don't really remember any build to this. Maybe something five weeks ago. These guys have hard hitting matches that don't matter because Sheamus always wants to look unbeatable so kids will like him. Cesaro does cool stuff that is different and fresh, and Sheamus does boring stuff that only Finlay could make look cool. Apparently, I'm feeling bitter today.

Mark Henry vs Rusev for the love of Americans
Saw some nekkid pictures of Lana the other day. That was cool. It's weird to think that Mark Henry is now more of an attraction than the Big Show is. He's hardly there. Rusev reminds me of Umaga. Somebody shoved down my throat that does a good job that I will hate in a few more months.

The Usos vs The Dust Brothers for the Tag Titles
While I like Stardust, I don't love it. I think I'm too big of a Goldust mark and I just feel it devalues one of the absolute best characters WWE has ever had. Are Chris Jericho and Dustin the oldest semi-active wrestlers in WWE? They both do DDP Yoga. Hmmmmmmm......

Dolph Ziggler vs The Miz for the Intercontinental Championship
One of three matches that got a descent build and it is the comedy match. Also, it's the appease the fans match. The Miz does creative stuff (I'm sure this body double thing had something to do with him), just wish he would give it to somebody that doesn't have X-Pac heat.

Chris Jericho vs Randy Orton
Night of Champions 2008? Did this already happen?

Roman Reigns vs Hernia
Sounds like he's winning, and we'll be winning by taking this milquetoast, arm cocking, 3 inch off the ground jumping thing off tv for a few weeks. Sorry, I won't be entertained if you win every match until Wrestlemania and beat Brock. In fact, we will all be cheering for Brock.

Seth Rollins...............and cue Dean Ambrose........

Brock Lesnar vs John Cena for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
If Cena turns heel I will cry. It would be the worst. If Cena does something questionable to beat Brock....maybe interesting but probably not. I talk about the Cena vs Edge TLC match from Unforgiven 2006 a lot. It was when I completely gave up on John Cena. Cena sets up the first table (in a two table stack) that in the end he sends Edge through, and he sets up the ladder that he AA's Edge off of. Basic psychology says "heel (known for TLC matches) sets up these things, and in the end, the heel gets fucked up by them (his just desserts). This match showed me that John Cena was an evil man that WANTS to throw people off ladders into tables, and I'm supposed to believe that he's a really great guy that never gives up. Oh, and he AA's Lita in that match too. Oh...and the top table falls off...so he resets it. None of it makes ANY SENSE. Watch it....it's my least favorite match with crazy bumps.So yeah...he already does questionable things in order to beat people....and he refuses to have children with the "love of his life" and he makes them sign weird pre-nups and is all around smarmy. He's an awful dude...that is booked too look like superman. It's gross. Gross Gross Gross. Kill him Brock. None of that made any sense probably.....whatever....enjoy

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