April 07, 2014

Quarter Marshall's Wrestlemania 30 Review

Wow, I'm spinning.  Partly because it's past 4 am, partly because I've been watching wrestling for 5 or 6 hours, but mostly because I think I just watched the coolest Wrestlemania in at least ten years.

Openening Segment
Usually this kind of thing is lame, but it was awesome.  First there Hulk Hogan saying "Silverdome" a few times, effectively hushing the crowd that was super-hot just a minute before, that was hilarious.  You guys know what a mark I am for Stone Cold, and there he was, large and in charge.  He really made it for me, but Rock elevated it even further with some signature banter and catchphrasing, which wasn't nearly as forced or obnoxious as his promos from the past few Wrestlemania seasons.  The opening segment was fun.

DBD v HHH
I was looking forward to this match more than any other on the card.  They've been trading finishers for the better part of a year, but had never had a match.  Also, I figured it would have to be brutal, to send Bryan into the main event as battered as possible.  I loved how it opened the show, and how a lot of it was really mat-based.  I wouldn't have picked HHH to be the guy to jerk the curtain, so to speak, although I guess there was the pre-show to do that (which I didn't finish, so won't review.)  The match was great and it lived up to my expectations.  Good story.

Shield v Authority
Short and sweet, I guess.  If I had one disappointment about the show... okey, if I had TWO disappointments, one would be that the Shield only wrestled for a couple of minutes.  But I guess since they were battling guys almost twice their age, I guess it was as good as it was gonna be.  Believe in the Shield!

The Andre the Giant Memorial Over-the-Top-Rope Battle Royal
Big Show was getting put over so much on TV, like "he's the favorite to win", and the announcers wouldn't shut up about him.  I actually bought it, thinking that yeah, he probably will win it, that would be boring enough to meet the current standard.  Alice was more optimistic and picked Ziggler.  What actually happened I would not have thought possible.  Magnificent.  Also, it was just fun all around, and not the shitfest I was kind of expecting.

Cena v Wyatt
This was interesting.  As many times as Cena has teased a heel turn, this time I was really starting to buy into it.  Now that I can visualize it, I'm wondering if that will come into play on Raw, or in the coming weeks/months.  Or maybe not, and Cena is just Cena and moves on to the next bad guy.  In any case, it was a pretty dazzling match.  Cena's the man, and Wyatt's talent is astounding.

Lesnar v Undertaker
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!??!?!!??!?!?!??!?!
*still processing*
The crowd shots were funny, I'm sure I looked like that.  Jaw slack, eyes bugging out.  I sat like that for about half an hour.  I think the match was kinda good but it's hard to think about.  I'll do it tomorrow.  I don't know if I hate it or if I think it was ballsy and cool.  I really wanted Punk to win last year.  Holy fuck.

The Vickie Guerrero Diva's Championship Invitational Battle Royal
Talk about a tough act to follow.  The crowd was completely in shock.  AJ won, good for her.

DBD v Orton v Batista
Of course Bryan was going to win this, I think we all were at least 90% sure of that.  Still, it was a super ride, and should continue to be, as the Authority pulls itself together.  Sure, the story had its bumps along the way, as I was always ready and willing to grouse about here on the internet, but I never doubted that Bryan had a huge moment on the horizon, and I've been looking forward to it as much as the next guy.  I think my favorite moment was when they brought back the dirty referee, that was a great detail.  I hope he gets used more, a la Nick Patrick, that Kenny Powers lookin motherfucker.  Anyway back to the match, yeah that was good.  Bryan and Orton were killin it, and two out of three ain't bad!

Those are my immediate thoughts, post-Mania.  More insight may or may not come to me later, but I'm pretty tired now, so I'll wrap up with some random thoughts which I'm too lazy to frame into proper paragraphs.

-Invasion Attack also happened.  Can't wait to see Tanahashi-Nakamura and the Young Bucks match.  And most of the rest of the card.

-I love the way HHH has been selling for Bryan, especially at the end of last week's Raw-- that cracked me up.  It's also funny how he sold the sledgehammer, that he had to go backstage with his tail between his legs.  He's really been putting Bryan over, and making good TV at the same time.

-Before I watched Mania, I was expecting Raw to be batshit insane, but now I don't know what else they can do to surprise me.  Maybe Cena will turn heel or Sting will show up, but I'm doubtful.  For the past I-don't-know-how-many years the post-Mania Raw has outshined the PPV, but this year seems to be shaping up differently, which is definitely a good thing.  Looking forward to tonight's show a whole lot nonetheless.  Maybe Punk will reappear, but I'm doubtful of that as well.  I have no idea what will happen at Raw.

-Poncho Man, I concur with your appraisal of Mr. T's Hall of Fame speech as being "epic".  I never wanted it to end.  His mother should be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame next year so that he can finish his speech.  I think he may only have just gotten warmed up.

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