Quarter Marshall's Wrestlemania Recap

Gee but ain't we all so glad to have our ol' pal, the progenitor of SCW, Rusty Nickles back in action.  So Mr. Nickles, you wanted to hear my thoughts on WWE stuff?  Well, be careful what you wish for, cuz you just might get it.  Here we go, this could take a while.

WATCHING WRESTLEMANIA
As you may know, I was down in Sancisco last weekend, and wasn't sure if I'd catch the PPV or not.  Turns out, even though he hasn't watched wrestling in years, my brother was totally down to watch it.  My sister was visiting from Connecticut at the same time, and she wasn't as enthusiastic but was open to it and was just cool with hanging out and drinking beers.  The three of us sat through the entire thing, eating soul food, drinking beer, and having a blast.  It didn't take long for my sibs to join in with me in all of the hooting and hollering and carrying on and such.  Without being too critical about the matches, it was a really fun PPV to watch and I actually felt I got my money's worth.  That being said, now I'll go ahead and get critical about the matches...

The Shield v Babyface Dipshits
Marked out for the win.  This match was pale in comparison to the Shield's previous matches, but it wasn't their fault.  This got me, and the New Jersey crowd pretty fired up, so great opener.

Mark Henry v Ryback
When Henry got Shellshocked I popped like the proverbial weasel.  Other than that, this match was kind of a throwaway, since there's nowhere to really go with it.  Water under the bridge.

Hell No v Zigg E
Big E really stood out in this match, if only because I haven't seen him wrestle as a heel before, which he did quite well.  The match seemed like business as usual though, and would have seemed at home in the middle of Raw or Smackdown.  It was still fun, but no big deal.

Jericho v Fandango
I told you so.

Swagger v ADR
Still don't give a fuck.  I used this to illustrate to my siblings the difference between good and bad wrestling matches.  (It was of the latter category.)  There was no logic or psychology to it, it just felt like they were taking turns being on top, back and forth, back and forth, without any kind of logical rhythm or sense.  Del Rio's wrestling is so nice and clean, but his matches are rarely any good at all, it's a shame.

Punk v Taker
My expectations were unreasonably high, but they totally delivered.  Punk coming out in purple, mocking Taker at every step, pulling off Old School when Taker had failed, going for the tombstone... there were so many great moments.  This was all about Taker's legacy, and Punk payed homage to it over and over and over again, albeit under the veil of mockery.  This match was the example I used to illustrate to my siblings what a good match is like, when everything is rolled out in a logical way, telling a story full of surprises and keeping the audience avidly rapt.  Needless to say, this was my favorite match of the night, and of the year so far.

HHH v Lesnar
The smoke machine thing got dry ice all over HHH , causing 2nd degree burns.  I was laughing at him for having goop on him and looking silly, but now it's the most memorable part of the match because he was totally stonefaced while he was getting burned.  That's badass.  The match was fun in the moment, and the card definitely benefited from such a heavy hitting bout, but it just wasn't my cup of tea.  Dave Meltzer gave it 1 1/2 stars, which I thought was way harsh but also hilarious.

Cena v Rock part deaux
A little better than last year.  The finish was shit, but maybe that was because Rock was hurt.  So he says.  They kept teasing Cena's dubious heel turn right up to the end of the PPV, with the slow handshake after the match and the prolonged "friendship" ending.  I was screaming bloody murder at my brother's flatscreen, "HIT HIM!!! HIT HIM WITH THE BELT YOU FUCKER!!!"


WATCHING RAW
I'm in the habit now of watching Raw on Tivo, and fast forwarding through ads and boring matches.  I should have laid off the remote for this one, but I didn't.  I missed the chants during the Orton-Sheamus match and the Barrett-Miz match, because I had no interest in them, but now, after seeing all the feedback online, regret not sitting through them.  The parts I did watch, though, were pretty interesting.

John Cena is a Heel
For the past few weeks, Cena's been subtly antagonizing the crowd.  My theory is that he turned heel the second he was rock-bottomed at the debate 2 weeks before Mania.  The week after that, his promo was antagonistic and pretentious.  It was still well within the bounds of his face character, but he was laying it on a bit thick.  At Mania, as Rusty pointed out to me, he wrestled as the heel.  I think this was magnified by Rock's injury, as Cena needed to use a lot of long rest holds for him, which is usually something reserved for getting heat.  On this week's Raw, his cheery indifference to the booing went a step further than usual, seeming a little smarmy and smug.  It could be that he's just having fun with the smarky Mania crowds, inciting forum posts, blogging, twittering and touting, all of us trying to guess what will happen next, but it could also truly be a slow burn of a character change.

Dolph Ziggler is World Heavyweight Champion (again)
I say "again", but his first reign wasn't even so much a story as it was a sentence.  Not even a paragraph.  I've heard him say in interviews that he doesn't count the first title win, and to be fair, neither do the fans.  Ziggler's win feels so right, it might be difficult for him to muster much heel heat.  He certainly won't get any heat against lame-duck-Del-Rio, so who's the good guy for him?  I'll bet if Orton or BS jumped Ziggler, the crowd would accept Ziggs as a good guy instantly.  We shall see.  Anyway, Ziggler's cashing in and winning was pretty epic, even if it was predictable from a mile away.

Ryback turns Tweener
Yeah, he already was, but I still think it's cool.

The Shield jump The Undertaker
For me, this was the mark-out moment of the night.  Totally unexpected.  And how cool was it that Hell No made the save, and that the three stood in solidarity?  REALLY COOL that's how cool.

Barrett wins the IC title back from The Shit
From now on I will only refer to The Shit as The Shit because he is The Shit.  But not like "the shit" in a good way, no, no, not at all, I am calling him The Shit because he is the ultimate in shittiness.  The new Botchamania today called him out on not knowing how to do a figure 4.  Thanks Maffew, you speak for all of SCW!  Oh, and yay Wade Barrett, or something.

Fandango gets Over
I told you so.