Spare Change Newsletter: Rules, Extremely

Greetings all starchildren and rosebuddies,

I'm taking a week off from the Marshall Matters Show to decide where to host it next (I'll probably just go back to the old way), and in the meantime, I've taken down the last three episodes from podbean and retroactively posted them here.  For posterity, integrity, and my own anal fastidiousness.  And because it's free.

Because I'm too tired to try and write cohesive paragraphs, let's get right into it...  spoilers for !3X7R3M3! !RVL3Z! and Raw to follow.

It seems appropriate for my first bullet point to address the state of the ersatz Bullet Club.  I was disappointed with their opener against the Usos, for some reason I thought it was going to be an awesome knock-down drag-out, but it was a little too much like a wrestling match, a little too much like the brawls they've been having on TV for the past several weeks, and there was really nothing on the line except The Club's need to establish themselves.  So, it wasn't bad, I had fun watching it, but I wouldn't say this was a particularly good showcase of the strengths of either team.  I still definitely enjoy the Club/Family rivalry, and I'm bummed that it seems to have run its course already.  Even more premature is the unfortunate break-up of The Club, dissipating like a wisp of smoke into the cool night air.  I like AJ as a babyface who stands on his own feet, but is The Club just going to be a 2-man faction?  They've got a long way to go to establish themselves as formidable heels when they come out to a shitty emo song and get brushed off by AJ right before and after losing clean.  Don't get me wrong, I think AJ will be fine, but Anderson and Gallows are gonna have to make a big statement next week to show the Universe how badass they can be.

I was disappointed that Kalisto dropped the US belt.  For as long as he's had it, I've heard people on multiple podcasts fantasy-book the title without any consideration for Kalisto.  They talk about Cena coming back and resuming the open challenges as though it's an obviously great booking decision.  If Kalisto's run hasn't captured the people, I'd have to assume that has a lot to do with the fact that he'd been in a lukewarm feud with Ryback for 2 months.  I'd have liked to see him defend against more competitors of different styles and sizes before passing the title on.  That said, Rusev's been a monster lately (some might say a sexy beast, but I'm totally above it).  When Cena returns next week, many will look for him to challenge Rusev in a rematch from 2 Manias ago.  I'll have mixed feelings if that's the case.  By the way, I heard that Rusev doesn't oil up before his matches.  I know, I know, it looks like he does, but I heard that instead of sweat, his body actually secretes a lavender-scented lotion, and that wrestling Rusev is less like being in a car accident, and more like taking an epsom salt bath.

The only thing I didn't like about the 4-Way IC match was that it isn't on every card.  Well, and also that Miz won.  I was rooting hard for Cesaro, figuring that with Owens and Zayn stalling each other out, he had the best chance of dethroning The Awful One.  Instead, he gets a non-title singles victory over Miz on Raw, after selling a shoulder injury throughout the match.  Did anyone else think that was weird?  Why would he be selling like that if he's going over?  So that Miz isn't perceived as an underdog?  Too much thinking.  I wonder if Cesaro will get a title match on Raw in the weeks leading to MitB.

And how exciting is it that the next PPV is MitB??  I'm already stoked.  There are a lot of fish in the pond right now, and with five out of seven competitors announced, the only one who's held the WWEWHC before is Jericho, so it will be fun and nerve-wracking to watch who gets the ball.

Speaking of Jericho, I skipped through his Asylum match with Ambrose.  I skipped a few segments of E.Rules and Raw because Al Marshall has been watching with me lately, but she can't stay up as late, and I wanted to make sure she'd see AJ in the main events.  So I have nothing to say about Jericho/Ambrose or the Ambrose/Ziggler match from Raw.  I did watch Jericho/Crews though, and I continue to be disappointed with Apollo's lack of support from the audience.  I can attribute it to a few key factors.  One, he doesn't put enough stank on his offense.  I know he's got it in him, but he hasn't shown it in the WWE yet.  Two, he doesn't sell enough.  Not selling the heat like it's killing him makes his comebacks tepid.  Three, his character hasn't been established through storytelling.  The most compelling thing he's done so far is get his ass kicked backstage by Sheamus.  I wish Crews the best and will continue to root for him to fulfill his potential.

I loved the fact that there were qualifying matches for the MitB spots.  It was so frustrating that time years ago when the Authority just announced that the MitB match would be made up of all the former world champions on the roster, of which there were like, six or something.  That was stupid.  The qualifying matches are in keeping with the more competitive edge WWE has fostered since Mania, and they didn't pull any punches with the pairings.  They each seemed like they could go either way, I liked each match, and in most cases was happy with the result.  Zayn/Sheamus (who Al and I have referred to for years as Shaymoo, I don't remember why) was solid, we get Zayn in another high-profile match, and Shaymoo went on the warpath, which was entertaining and had a rare feel of legitimacy from the big Irish cartoon.

Back to E.Rules, um yeah that 4-Way was dope.  3/4 of them had great moments, and 1/4 was the perfect foil for 3 Indy/IWC darlings.  I can't say enough for the match, but it still wasn't match of the night.  Styles and Reigns tore New Jersey a new asshole (and didn't they have plenty already) and I got totally lost in this one.  Going in, I KNEW that Roman was going over, there's no way he'd be dropping the belt already, in his first real feud since winning the belt, which was a years-long journey itself.  However, while my brain was constantly whispering "Roman is going to win.  AJ is going to lose.  Marshall, you know this."  My heart was screaming "AJ got him!! He got him!!!!" and I was losing my mind in the best way.  AJ showed he's second to none, Roman showed he can hang with the best and hold up his end.  It was awesome storytelling, athletically amazing, and the highspots were jaw-dropping.  From brawling around the pre-show table, to the sitout Razor's Edge, to AJ playing musical chairs on both Usos and Reigns, there were a ton of memorable moments from this match.  When Rollins ran out, I was instantly flashing to future match-ups-- AJ/Rollins and AJ/Rollins/Reigns.  What a bitter pill to swallow on Raw when AJ lost clean for the second night in a row.  They've really got me looking forward to next week, because I'm super invested in what happens with AJ.

The match with Owens was super good though, I don't want to be a total bummer about it.  Owens' great wrestling, agility, and trash-talking make him arguably the most entertaining person on the roster.  I just wish they could both be in the MitB match.

What else.. Big E with a cake... Enzo calling his concussion a "hard sneeze, achoo"... not too many McMahon segments... it was a good show.  It was disappointing that there weren't any women's matches, and the main event left me sad, but the bulk of it was good, as was the PPV.

Anything I didn't cover in this post I probably didn't watch, for better or worse.  I'm a couple weeks behind on ROH, a month behind on Lucha Underground, and I haven't watched any Super Jrs yet.  I did watch some CMLL today (the first two Dragon Lee/Kamaitachi matches from late 2014/early 2015) and that was awesome.  I watched NXT, which was fine.  I watched Wake Up Time to Die with Rip Rogers, which was interesting.  And thus concludes my report!  Pleasant dreams.

Poncho Man's Super Extreme Extreme Rules Preview

I think last year I did a post where everything was super "extreme" and I repeated "extreme" a bunch. I think last year Extreme Rules was probably really stupid. Maybe I should read my preview?

Remembering dreams is the best. I wish I did more often, but it's usually less than seldom for me. Sometimes I wake up from night terrors and don't remember them. Which is better than remembering them. Traumatic Stress!

I'm currently watching Lady Dynamite on Netflix and avoiding watching the Lions Gate Project....mostly because I want to actually pay attention to that sweet sweet Jay White.....

Baron Corbin vs Nick in an Extreme Rules Match on the Preshow

I was thinking about the thought that once a guy gets over...they don't really have to have them do anything compelling for people to be passionate about them. We all have mildly passionate "what the fuck are they doing with him? what is this shit?" feelings, but it doesn't really matter...because we kinda care about Nick (based on a storyline 4ish years ago?) and we'll be mildly upset when End Of Days beats the shit out of him. 

Or Will We? Dun Dun Duuun

The Usos vs The Club in a Tornado Match

I wish I liked The Usos so I'd be more excited. Does The Club really go over here? Maybe it's a schmoz.....maybe they'll do my favorite trope that hasn't been done in a long time and the match continues throughout the show. I like that trope.

Dean Ambrose vs Chris Jericho in an Asylum Match

Isn't this a TNA thing? Are they really just stealing from TNA? So yeah, Chris Jericho is really fucking awesome at getting heat in a weird fun stilted way, and Dean Ambrose is really really bad at being weird and stilted. So there is a mop and bucket hanging above the ring...so obviously Kenny Omega is gonna show up? I'm confused.

The Miz vs Cesaro vs Sami Zayn vs Kevin Owens for the Intercontinental Championship

Steal the show? Maybe. Ummmm....this stuff is good. I think we probably all enjoy it....and hate to admit that the intercontinental champ is pretty good....Ick. Feel dirty. Super dirty.

Kalisto vs Rusev for the United States Championship

I really love Kalisto, he's the best true babyface on the roster....but he's going to be wrestling the sexy sexy sexy Rusev. Kalisto is really lucky to be able to get close and smell him. Rusev is going to keep him really safe, defeat him, and Kalisto will whisper "this was my pleasure sir."

Charlotte vs Natalya for the Women's Championship

I think Ric is banned from the ring and it's a submission match. Will Charles Robinson be the ref? Maybe Ric will be incognito? Maybe this will lead to Sasha's "big return?" I don't know.

The New Day vs The Vaudevillians for the W W E World Heavy Weight Tag Team Champion Ship

Are The Vaudevillians over as heels or are they getting "we don't care" heat? I can't decide. Can you? Who knows? 

I really enjoy the work of Missi Pyle. She's hilarious and has a great band. 

Roman Reigns vs AJ Styles in an Extreme Rules match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship

Hopefully this match is really good and less overbooked than the last one....cause the last one was really good minus all that interruption shit. I have high hopes. Who knows what could happen!? I think that's exciting...which means that this PPV is already better than last year's Extreme Rules. 

Booking has been better lately. I enjoy intriguing television. Speaking of which, I didn't know Maria 

Bamford was funny until today. Like no clue whatsoever. I'd only heard her name.

Jammy. I like wearing them. 

AJ Styles and the French Vomitron

In my dream last night, I saw AJ Styles in the small French town I was hanging out in.  He was standing in a deep green stretch of lawn, looking pensively at a tree.  I walked by him on the stone-cobbled sidewalk, and didn't feel the need to say "Hello" because we went to the same school.  I didn't see him again, but I heard from cleanshaven Joey Ryan that AJ was disgusted by the Vomitron in his hotel room.  A Vomitron looks like a 5-foot-tall sewing machine with a bucket suspended in the middle.  It's like a toilet for barfing.  It was a standard amenity in the hotel, but AJ was offended by the idea that he would ever need it.