SCW on TNT (AEW/ROH)

Poster Boys

 

Poncho Man and Quarter Marshall are friends because they're rich and they do whatever they want.  On November 8, 2023 they wanted to go to the first AEW Dynamite to be broadcast from Portland.  They wanted to get good seats, but not great seats, and not directly facing the hard cam.  We didn't want to just be in the background all through the show, that wouldn't be cool.  It's way cooler to only be on-screen when the camera is kinda diagonal once in a while.  Did Marshall wear fuchsia so he could find himself easily to make this post later?  Yes!

Match 1: MJF defends the AEW world title against Daniel Garcia.

Getting an eyeful of those famous Remsburg buns

Match 2: Sting and Darby Allin vs The Outrunners (Truth Magnum and Turbo Floyd)

Here's lookin' at you, Sting

 

We saw Sting's second ever and final match in the state of Oregon.  The other was against Flair for the NWA world title in 1989.  This was better.  We saw Sting's best match ever in Oregon.

 

 Match 3: Swerve Strickland vs Penta El Cero Miero

Match of the night, even though it mostly existed so Adam Page could jump Swerve afterward.

Match 4: Samoa Joe defends the ROH TV title against Keith Lee (and then vacates it)

One of my favorite chants we did was when the crowd was chanting "Meat" and "Meat forever", etc, we tried to start "Farm to table (clap clap clapclapclap)".  Can't believe that didn't catch on in Portland.

Match 5: The Gunn Club vs The Bollywood Boys

The loudest Poncho Man got all night was when he yelled at Colton Gunn for giving a shitty promo.

Match 6: Julia Hart vs Red Velvet

RHCP sighting.  This must be Poncho's other friend.

In the arena, they announced that it was Tony Schiavonne's birthday, but they didn't mention it on television.  On television, they mentioned that it was Julia Hart's birthday, but they didn't announce it in the arena.  Julia Hart is 22.  No age given for Tony.  Red Velvet is possibly the best female worker in AEW.  Top three easy.  Cupcake for champ!

Match 7: Jay White vs Mark Briscoe

 Paul Turner spanking it

I was sitting next to an eight year old, and some of the highlights of the show for me were his reactions.  During this match, he was cheering Briscoe (the good guy) and booing White (the bad guy).  But he spaced out for a minute and started clapping in support when Jay White was on offense.  Then Jay got a quick pin and won the match.  The kid's shoulders slumped and he held out his hands, staring down on them in shame and disbelief, as if his badly timed clapping had cost Mark Briscoe the match.  It brought me back to those childhood feelings, where your limited perspective on things forces you to use your imagination constantly, which becomes like a secret world.  I told him he probably shouldn't clap any more.

 

Part Two: A Completely Unadvertised ROH Taping

After the wrestling show, there was another wrestling show!  We had talked earlier about the possibility of ROH or Rampage being taped after the show, but the ticket and event info neglected to mention the other hour and a half of wrestling which would follow the two hour wrestling show.  In the arena, they hooked us with the promise of an Eddie Kingston main event, and maybe something like 75-80% of the crowd agreed that was enough of a worthwhile attraction to not leave right after Dynamite ended.

Match 8: Pretty Peter Avalon vs Trent?

OC sighting

 

Match 9: The Outrunners (Truth Magnum and Turbo Floyd) vs Sebastian Wolf and Jacoby Watts

A highlight of the show was Poncho mocking Jacoby Watts' (not pictured) black star tattoo for the duration of this short match

Match 10: Emi Sakura vs Rebel Kel

Basking in the moonlight

Match 11: The Boys vs The Bollywood Boys

What a wild abundance of boys

Match 12: Marina Shafir vs Amira

I don't remember making out during this match, but pictures don't lie.  We are clearly connected by the face.

Match 13: El Hijo del Vikingo and Komander vs Christopher Daniels and Matt Sydal

Seeing the Fallen Angel wrestle was an unexpected bonus

Match 14: Eddie Kingston defends the ROH World Championship vs Dalton Castle

(caption not found)

After the match, Kingston got a microphone to send the people home happy with his universally celebrated promo skills.  He said something like, thanks for coming out to see the show, then said "I'm Eddie Kingston, and I don't give a fuck." and hopped out of the ring.  The kid next to me had been clapping quietly for Eddie, but when the F bomb dropped, he froze and looked up at his Dad.  His Dad was laughing, and said, it's okay, it's just a show.  The kid got really excited that Eddie wasn't in trouble with his Dad and resumed cheering loudly, fists in the air.  Eeeddie!  Eeeddie!  Eeeddie!  Eeeddie!

That was the show.  Season's greetings ya'll!

SC Newsletter 56: Every Action has a Faction

Greetings stablemates,

New Japan has seen more of a shake-up in the past couple months than in the past two years combined (injuries aside).  Have these changes been good, bad, ugly, beautiful, or drenched in apathy?  As New Japan is divided by factions, so will be this state-of-the-promotion appraisal.

This post is fresh off the heels of this year's New Japan Cup, and before the faction madness begins, I do have one point to make regarding the tournament.  For every NJ Cup and G1 tournament, I make a bracket, and as the tourn progresses, I put a star next to every match I think is exceptional.  I've gone as far as using a 3-star system, but usually just one means it's great and that's enough to help me remember the matches that I liked.  I couldn't find my bracket from last year's NJ Cup, but I did find the one from 2 years ago.  2 years ago, I had 10 starred out of 29 total matches.  Amazing ratio.  This year, I only had one starred match.  It was the final, and I felt like they'd built up to it really well over the course of the tournament, though I'm not sure whether it would stand up to my starred matches of the past, which stood out to me as singularly interesting matches, regardless of booking, which has always been a major strength of NJ tournaments.  So yeah I'm disappointed with recent matches, but I was still entertained overall, looking forward to each of the 11 consecutive NJ Cup events.

HONTAI

Tanahashi wasn't even in the Cup.  I thought maybe he'd take the time off but he was still in mid-card tags, usually tagging with Okada who was also absent from tourney competition.  It feels like they're using him like Nagata 10 years ago, where he can still feasibly challenge for mid titles, and can get any crowd reaction he wants at any given time, but his headlining days are a wrap until he does a Muta-style tour, which, if he retires at the same age (60), would be in 2037.

There were 2 Hontai entrants in the Cup.  Tama Tonga and Shota Umino.  White-meat Tama has crowd support, including my babyface mark ass.  As the current Never champ, he had a first round buy, then made it past Henare and Goto to get to the semifinals, where he lost to Finlay.  Shooter is beyond white-meat and well into baby-kisser territory.  The crowd supports him but it's thinner and shallower.  I was really looking forward to seeing him main event with his Dad reffing, and that was really cool the first time, but now I've seen it twice and could wait awhile before revisiting that angle.  Shota beat Takahashi and Zack Sabre, then lost to Finlay in the quarter-finals.  He's headed toward a rematch vs Zach to challenge for his (recently introduced) World TV title.

TMDK

This faction started getting over during the 2022 G1, thanks entirely to Jonah and the push they gave him.  When he went back to WWE, NJ briefly used Nichols and Haste, the original TMDK guys, but their run was short, as their previous NJ runs had been, so NJ's TMDK is now seemingly just Zack Sabre Jr and his enlisted youngboy Kosei Fujita.  At the tail end of the tourney, there was a teaser vid for Robbie Eagles joining TMDK, so I guess that makes 3 members with 2 sometimes-guys.  There is precedent for NJ taking a faction from elsewhere and booking a new version of it...

LOS INGOBERNABLES DE JAPON

The Cup began with 3 LIJ members on its bracket, and ended with 2.  Shingo lost in the first round to Henare.  On paper, this sounds absurd, but I actually like it a lot.  Shingo is KOPW champ (the Yano gimmick championship thing) and he and Henare will have a Mui Thai street fight match to settle their score.  It will probably be horrible but great.  Who better to try and get Henare over, win or lose?

Naito has been used really well this year so far.  Good high profile matches, and his presence always means something.  He beat El Phantasmo and Chase Owens in entertaining matches before striking out to his stablemate.

Sanada's Cup began with a win over Taichi.  Besides the final, this was the one other match of the Cup that might have earned a star from me, except I didn't give a shit about Sanada in the first round, and I was a little salty that Taichi got cut off.  But after the match, they did a mutual respect handshake spot, and it had a sincerity about it that set Sanada up, more than the match itself, for him to make an impact in the Cup.  That's the power of Taichi-- the guy can emote pathos like a son of a bitch.  Sanada went on to beat Kenta, and then Naito.  After the Naito match, Taichi, who had been on commentary, rolled into the ring, along with the other 3 Just Guys, and Sanada pledged solidarity with them.  It was a nice counter to the memory of Evil turning full heel on Naito in the Cup 3 years ago.  There was no big melodramatic turn, just a faction repositioning, where Sanada would be a bigger player within Just 5 Guys, like the Shingo to Taichi's Naito.  He then beat Mark Davis to reach the finals vs Finlay.  Oh, and Sanada won all his matches with a new DDT kind of finisher, and after the faction switch, shaved the facial hair, dyed the hair back to a natural black, and got a more traditional haircut.  He legit looks so different he feels like a different person.  I feel like it took me about 9 months after his initial debut before I realized I didn't care for his matches, and now I feel ready to hit a reset on that which may last as long as another 9 months.

UNITED EMPIRE

Yes, you read correctly that Mark Davis made it to the semifinals.  UE smoked ass in this tournament, including the non-tourney tags.  Despite who won what matches, they came out feeling like the strongest faction.  Jeff Cobb, Great O'khan, and especially both Aussie Open members were kicking ass in the tags all tourney long.  Aussie Open will be next to challenge Bishamon for their IWGP Heavy Tag titles.

Kyle Fletcher won his first match against Yoshihashi and lost his second match against Goto.  Cobb had a buy to the second round, but lost his first match to Evil.   Great O'khan also had a buy to the second round, losing his first match to Finlay.  Henare upset Shingo in the first round, then lost to Tama Tonga. Mark Davis beat Yano in the first round, then lost to Ospreay, who'd had a buy to the second round.  However, Ospreay was injured, so Davis took his place in the subsequent matches as though he'd won.  He beat Evil, avenging Cobb's loss, and then lost in the semifinals to Sanada.  Imagine how much more impactful it would have been for Sanada to have beaten Ospreay, but still, Davis had a killer showing in his extra appearances, and was good on guest commentary to boot.

HOUSE OF TORTURE

Formerly the promotion-dissolvingly-bad dominant heel faction, HOT have been penitently booked as jobbers for a while now.  They're starting to be used again for heat, but only to get rookie acts off the ground.

Takahashi lost to Shooter in the first round.  Evil had the most legitimizing run he's had in a long time, with wins over Narita and Cobb, before falling to Davis in the semis.  HOT is feuding with Narita's faction...

STRONG STYLE

After disbanding Suzuki-Gun, it seemed like Minoru would check out for awhile.  But he's still around on roughly the same (part-time) schedule, lending his clout to a new trio that seems centered on legitimizing Ren Narita.  Suzuki is the vet, Desperado is his protege and over in his own right, and they're looking to extend that chain to Ren.  The crowd is into it, and when they won the Never 6-man titles from HOT in February, they really felt like they had some upward momentum.

The only Cup competitor was Narita, who lost to Evil in the first round, thusly extending the feud.

CHAOS

Where are the bosses?  Okada was not in the Cup, he's just been doing tags with Tana, doing his brashly confident rainmaker thing.  Ishii lost in the first round to Finlay, on a show that never made it to XWT.  Goto and Yoshihashi are tied up with Aussie Open.  Yano dropped his first match to Mark Davis, which was entertaining of course, being a Yano tourney match.  Yoh was on all the cards supporting his tag partner Lio Rush, who I don't think is officially Chaos, but you gotta have multi-mans in NJ so he might as well have been.

Lio unsuccessfully challenged Hiromu for the Jr Title on the Cup finals day.  Lio was a cardio phenom, he went hard for the duration and blew Hiromu up, good clean fun for the viewer.  Impossible to disassociate the in-ring athlete from the out-of-the-ring flake, but this was still Chaos' finest hour of the Cup shows, official member or not.

BULLET CLUB

The other bosses, or are they?  Four Bullet Club members were in the Cup, more than any other faction except United Empire with five.  (I'm not counting HOT as a BC splinter anymore- they seem totally separate.)  There is a major repeated story going on here-- a transference of leadership which is causing dissension in the ranks, which may lead to splinter, disband, or solidify the BC as we know it.  Thankfully, The Rebel is not as bulletproof as The Switchblade, and they seem to be telling a story with a similar beginning but different middle/ending.

The former BC leader, Jay White, was rapidly drummed out of NJ in successive stipulation losses to NJ luminaries Hikuleo and Eddie Kingston, followed by a shillelagh clubbing by his dojo classmate Dave Finlay.  In Finlay's subsequent appearance, which was in the first round of the Cup against Ishii, he showed up with Gedo, new heel leather bondage gear, darker hair/beard, and a slower, more heelish pacing to his walk and in-ring style, yelling that he's the new leader of the BC.  He's always scowling and he yells at his BC stable-mates not to "too sweet" audience members.  El Phantasmo is most resistant to his leadership, then Kenta being somewhat resistant, and then Chase who is seemingly indifferent.  Fale and Ishimori were absent from the Cup tour, as were the Goodbrothers and Impact contingent, if that matters.

El Phantasmo lost to Naito in the first round.  He seems like a shoe-in for LIJ if they would ever accept a US-born member.  After feuding for the KOPW title vs Shingo in a "Who's your Daddy" stipulation match, he now only refers to Shingo as "Daddy" when he's on guest commentary.  He's been taking LIJ hats off of kids' heads during his entrance, then giving them back- teasing that he wants to hate LIJ but actually likes them. El P is getting over as a mischievous face.  Perfect for LIJ, if that's even possible.

Kenta had a buy to the second round and lost his first match against Sanada.  Like El P, he's got tweener energy that could easily transition to face, heel, or walk the line.  He's fucking Kenta, he can do anything.  Except beat Sanada.  He's the NJ Strong champ, as he beat Fred Rosser at that San Jose in February that I didn't watch.

Chase Owens had a buy to the second round and lost his first match to Naito.  Chase Owens rules.

Finlay best Ishii, O'khan, Umino, and Tama to reach the finals.  I mentioned his debut and new character already.  It sucks pretty bad.  It reminds me of how Poncho would say like, "I'm not buying into this Jay White thing", and I'd be like "No he's a rock solid worker and he plays the crowd and they're building a star, which they need" to which Poncho would reply "Yeah but meh"... I feel like now I'm where Poncho was then.  I feel like a victim of irony.  Can somebody tell me what the frick Finlay is bringing to the table?  At this point it feels like the best thing he has to offer is the dissolution of an ineffectual faction.  However, I will say that there was so much at stake for him to win the finals, it made the finals interesting.  El P was very vocal that Finlay would have to win the Cup to make his claim as BC leader relevant, so the fallout of his loss might be more interesting than his Cup run.

JUST 4/5 GUYS

Somebody in the marketing head office got the memo from the LA office that Just 4 Guys sounds like Just For Guys, and they quickly had to pivot to either pull or gain a member.  I like this for now because Sanada adds clout to JFG.  Whatever's good for Taichi, I'm in favor of.  However, in 9 months, when his new hairstyle and finisher feel normalized, will Sanada feel like the same old one-trick-pony, and be more of a detriment to the faction?  I'm hoping that it's a win-win, and Taichi can get Sanada to open up a bit and evolve.  It's worth hoping for.  For now, they have momentum, attention, and however any of them evolve and coalesce will define whatever Just 4 Guys was ever supposed to be.  Kanemaru hasn't changed, Taka's doing the same kind of schtick with different words, but Douki's been pumping iron like he's getting ready to challenge for the Jr belt.  Taichi himself has a different vibe, hard to describe, except that he feels like the natural leader, despite Sanada's eminent athleticism and win over Taichi.  An inauspicious start to the faction, given the horrible team name and less-than-prime membership age average, but I think they're mostly banking on Taichi's underdog charisma, which I've become a total sucker for over the past few years, so I guess that's cool.

 

QM out.  Love ya.

SCW Takeover Portland

Forever My Dudes,

For me, there is nothing more fun than hanging out with you guys.  Normally, I don't even look for fun very often- I like work, I like to be busy, and I like being by myself.  You guys are the exception to the rule because you're kindhearted, super funny, and we can talk about wrestling or whatever all day.  I know you guys love getting together as much as I do, but you're generally more social than me, so I always want to say how cool it is for me personally.  Hooray we're friends.

Over the past week, I have taken the liberty of watching a high-res video of the show we went to, with my hand on the pause button so that I could grab screenshots of us.  I have done this for every televised wrestling show that I've been to, so that I can remind myself that I am now a person.  I've even done it for shows where I was sitting way high up on the hard cam side.  I had only ever found myself once- (with Rusty and company) way in the background of a Smackdown, with Jack Swagger selling a post-match limp up the ramp, bolstered by his Soaring Eagle. Sore in my lack of Network cameos, our visit to Takeover last week was thusly fruitful.  Here are a few of my favorite screenshots.  Hooray we exist.

I'll start with the best.  This was the only proper crowd reaction shot we're in.  It was after Keith Lee gave Double D a big slam thing and DD kicked out.  Big pop, and that moment is a popular gif because Keith Lee made funny faces.  I grabbed two shots real quick, and the greatest thing between them is that you can see Poncho having a moment.  (Alice had remained seated for this particular ovation.)

This one was from before the reaction shot- it was like the set-up to the set-up to the big move to the kickout, or something.

Not very exciting I know, but we're having a good time.  This next one isn't exciting either, but I like it because we're sort of titled or captioned by the invitation to hashtag.  (Sadly, no clear background shots during the Dakota Kai - Tegan Nox streetfight.)

 

That was Alice's favorite match of the evening.

Next was the women's championship match.  The camera avoided us for the whole thing until...

Yup, that's us hangin with the queen. But the biggest pop of the night was when the Broserweights beat reDRagon for the tag titles.  By the way, I restrained myself from making this entire post just about why Kyle O'Reilly is my favorite, and the best wrestler in NXT, but I will have to save that for a future MMS.  But anyway, this was a huge pop and it's funny to see our reactions.  Poncho appears to be holding Elizabeth reassuringly, Rusty is stiff as a board, looking like he wants to kill those douchebags in the front row, and I can be seen slowly raising a thumbs-down.

We didn't get much screen-time during the main event, but in the last camera shot of the ppv, you can see our section getting crotch chopped by those guys that everyone was now desperate to get away from.

Wow we look thrilled.

Well despite some of the people around us, who we will never see again, I am still glowing from the occasion.  It was a special day.

The Roster Madness zine that Rusty made is maybe my new favorite zine I have ever read.  It's so sincere and beautiful, then so irreverent and absurd.  I laughed, I cried, it's a trip.  Collages are on display.  Thanks for all the neat stuff.

On the day before the show, Tristan's band Witchasaurus Hex opened for Big Business, and they both rocked so fucking hard, it was a great show.  Yeah, I'm basically turning this blog into my diary.  DONT READ IT MOM GO AWAAAAAY

secret handshake ~~~~~~~~~ Quarter M.    ...thanks for the weekend

Q Marshall Blogathon Classic 2018

It feels like it's been a pretty good year for wrestling.

I say that with an casual air, but now as I'm beginning to collect my thoughts on the subject, I'm realizing that it's been an amazing year.  I'm thinking about my favorite matches, my favorite experiences, my favorite characters, and also just some shit that went down which seems significant.  In previous year-end episodes, I've sorted these concerns into "best-of" categories, and who knows, maybe by the end of writing the post, I'll have started doing that, but here at the outset I'm planning on slapping together a freeform list of personal favorites and cultural notables.

That being said, the most pure silly fun I've had all year, wrestling or otherwise, was watching Wrestlemania in Eugene.  With Poncho next to me, and Rusty live on our phones, we were cracking jokes the whole time, and I'm pretty sure I haven't yelled or laughed so much since.  Moments that come to mind: when Nakamura knocked AJ in the nuts, I yelled "take that motherfucker" as loud as I could, over and over and over again, even as I watched the chicken particles in my teeth grossly spray at the screen with each repeated "eff" sound.  Also, when DBD won his tag match or whatever it was, I spilled ass over teakettle backward yelling "Jag Thindh" which made Poncho laugh his ass off.  The live commentary we did over the Rousey debut was a ppv highlight, and of course "Hello, Paige here" has been permanently etched into the membrane of our collective nightmare web.  More than anything, I remember you guys cracking me up consistently throughout the show.  I used to shrug off watching Mania socially, but now I look forward to always being in touch with you guys when it's on, even if it means getting the Network one month per year.

Years ago, I wrote a year-end review which opined that Zack Ryder's YouTube show would have a longer-lasting legacy than CM Punk's pipebomb.  At this point, I wouldn't draw a direct line between 'Z True Hollywood Story' and 'Being the Elite', but neither would I draw a direct line between 'The Art of Wrestling' and a weekly podcast of a fat Alabaman moneylender prodding Tony Schiavonne into making self-deprecating dick jokes for the exact duration of a Monday Night Nitro.  I guess my point is that when it's freshly recognized that someone is doing something groundbreaking, there's no way to tell what's going to come next.  There's been a ton of buzz in that past 6 weeks or so about Cody and the Bucks starting their own promotion with funding from the dude who owns the Jacksonville Jaguars, which is a football team (I had to look it up).  Whether this "promotion" takes the shape of doing seasonal supershows/conventions, or seeking TV distribution, or establishing a touring brand, or some combination, who knows.  Maybe it will all be ashes come February, but with the success of All In, and the proven marketability of its main players (reference: Hot Topic), it doesn't feel like too great a leap of faith to see these guys surpass yet another perceived ceiling of precedence.

There are two great wrestling moments which I'd like to etch in stone this year.  Firstly, the reunion of the Golden Lovers.  It happened in January, and I wouldn't say that it's really paid off, but there was/is such a deep well of potential, along with a rich history to appreciate.  Omega's singles run got in the way (not a bad thing), and Ibushi also had a great singles story this year, setting him up to approach the upmost level of New Japan stardom.  But when they reunited against adversity after a long and troubled schism, it was wildly exciting because not only did they represent a kind of progressively ambiguous duo, which makes them awesome goodguys to me, but they could also be counted on to provide innovative wrestling entertainment in the heavyweight tag division, which is probably the weakest link in the current-day wrestle-scape.  With the rest of their year in focus, now seeing that they only had a handful of tag matches, and didn't even compete in the G1 Tag League, I'm disappointed that they didn't meet the potential I saw in them eleven months ago.  At least together they didn't... individually they each had amazing years... but that moment in January when they hugged... it was perfect.

The second great wrestling moment, and this is somewhat less of a "moment", even though its announcement could be attributed to a specific time and place, but the moment was a long time coming, and then it took a long time to get to where that moment felt rightfully situated, and that is the return to the ring of my favorite wrestler of all-time, Daniel Bryan.  He came back to a forgettable Mania tag match (I think Shane was involved, but I don't remember if they were on the same team or on opposite sides), followed by a prolonged feud with the since-canned Big Cass.  Talk about a lame return.  But with hindsight, it seems fine, because now he's heading into 2019 as the heel champion of Smackdown, his bad-guy temperament being all the more plausible with those preceding months of lackluster programs.  DBD is back on top!

So, while Bryan vs Lesnar might be my favorite WWE match of 2018 (off the top of my head), the rest of my top ten matches are probably all New Japan (with maybe a sprinkle from NXT Takeovers).  And this is indicative of my viewing habits throughout 2018.  Continuing the trend of previous year-end posts, this year's will reflect a further narrowing scope, as now I've even stopped following PWG, I only tuned in for a few of the bigger ROH shows, haven't seen a lick of TNA or Lucha Underground, only select segments of Raw/Smackdown here and there, infrequent check-ins with NXT, and very few other items.  But what I do still watch, I'm emotionally invested (as evidenced by my drawerful of crisply unworn New Japan graphic tees).  Even so, I couldn't think of a singular match that would stand out as my favorite.  The G1 was my favorite wrestling event, but that's like cheating because it's a freakin hundred matches, of course it's awesome.  There were standout matches in that for sure, Ishii-Ibushi, Ishii-Omega, Okada-Tanahashi, Sabre-Sanada, and the list goes on.  I suppose the easy answer for MOTY would be the 2/3 falls Omega-Okada from Dominion when Kenny won the title, but we had some great Okada defenses in the earlier months, including another classic against Tanahashi.  Jericho and Suzuki continued to cement their legacies with some truly great performances.  Gargano and Ciampa might've had the most heated rivalry with the best extended series of matches.  I dunno, there isn't an individual match which stands out to me as being a major personal favorite the way Okada-Shibata did last year, but there was a ton of great material to enjoy... gun to my head I'd go with Omega-Okada.  But Tanahashi-Ibushi from the G1 Finals is a major contender... I dunno I just love wrestling man!  I'm just along for the ride man!  I dunno I don't remember man!  We cool man?

We so cool.

*picture unrelated

SCN: Obligatory April Post

I don't remember the last time I watched any wrestling in real-time, but this Saturday I'll be watching NXT Takeover, and on Sunday Wrestlemania Thirtysomething in Eugene courtesy of Poncho Man's Network subscription.  It will be fun to share the live Mania experience for (I think maybe) the first time, and I hope we'll be constantly texting with Rusty.  Afterward, as we'll have expounded our various opinions on every match, I'm sure I won't be motivated to do my usual post-Mania MMS, so I feel like I need to do a rare preview as substitution.  After Poncho's post yesterday, he texted that he thought his insights maybe weren't that insightful.  I will report in advance that this post will not serve to elevate the overall intellectual content of our blogsite.  (No offense though, I did sincerely enjoy and appreciate yesterday's post, and for my taste, Poncho's unsurety was undue.)

NXT Takeover New Orleans

I follow along with their highlights (read: Ultimate Deletion), but I haven't watched an entire episode of Raw or Smackdown in many months.  I will however tune into NXT once a month or so, and I always like the show overall.  As with Takeovers past, this show is primed to steal the spotlight from Mania with its great and precisely-programmed (5 match) card.  Gargano and Ciampa have Styles/Nakamura level hype.  The match for the new belt has outrageous starpower.  The tag match will be baDAss.  (That was an attempt at a reDRagon reference.)  I've never been that into either Ember Moon or Shayna Baszler, but the NXT women's division rarely disappoints, so I'm game.  I'll also be looking for big things out of the main event, following Almas' great defense against McIntyre, and Black's undeniable rise to being a main event player.  This is going to fun, and when we're watching Mania we will miss the energy of the NXT crowd.

Cue the Kid Rock song...

It's Wrestlemania Fleur-de-lis!

 Ali-Alexander: Cruiserweight Title
 Like NXT, every time I tune into 205 Live I enjoy it, but I'm less motivated to turn it on in the first place.  Roddy vs Itami was great, and I'm sure Cedric has been killing it, though I wouldn't know first-hand.

Battle Royals: Ladies' and Gentlemen's
These will be fun, and have some standout moments for some deserving talents, and then someone will win, which will be meaningful for a week or two.  Good clean entertainment.  Two thumbs up...  my ass.

Bliss-Jax: Raw Women
If Bliss wins I riot.

New Day-Usos-Bludgeoners: Smackdown Tags
Poncho will have to talk me into this one, it sounds like potty break time to me.

Roode-Orton-Rusev-Mahal: US Title
I'm into this, I want to see it.  As Poncho said, Rusev is super over, and that alone will make the match interesting.  Mahal and Orton bring a campy bad quality, and Roode's solid.

Asuka-Charlotte: Smackdown Women
Show-stopper.  I'll be in Asuka's corner 100%, but either way I'll be happy if they get enough time.

Bar-Strowman/?: Raw Tags
I was thinking Hulk Hogan could be the mystery partner, but then I heard someone say that on a podcast and thought it sounded ridiculous.  I don't think they'd keep it for the last-minute surprise unless they were trying to mark us out though, so I have unreasonably high hopes.  My highest hope is for it to indeed be Hogan, and for him to be booed roundly out of the building.

Miz-Rollins-Balor: IC Title
Like the US Title match, I'm looking forward to watching this, but in a much different way.  I don't see a weak link here, but I'll be rooting heavily for Balor.

HHH/Steph-Angle/Rousey: Grudge?
Boy howdy do I not give a wild shit.  I want to see the HHH/Steph entrance because in recent years they have absolutely killed it.  I want to see Rousey because despite the internet nit-picking (maybe it helps that I haven't been watching Raw) I think she's a mega star in a way that could easily translate to wrestling.  I think she's cool.  Angle, dizzying heights of past glory aside, would best be put to pasture.

Zayn/Owens-Shane/DBD: Grudge!
Not how I'd fantasy-book the DBD comeback, but whatever.  It's not a bad stepping stone to re-enter the main roster.  Also, after watching the Kevin Owens 365 special, I was feeling bad for him that he might again feel like his stock in this year's Mania was lower than it was the previous year.  But being in a spot to heel on DBD is one of the best spots on the card, and one I can see him taking full advantage of.

Cena-Undertaker
I would like it if Undertaker came out to his music in street clothes.  Walked briskly down the ramp, arms swaying.  "Talk to the hand, John Cena.  I'm here to chokeslam Elias."

Lesnar-Reigns: Universal Title
Please let this match be short.  I will cheer Roman Reigns if he can beat, or lose to Lesnar in as much time as either Lesnar-Goldberg match.

Styles-Nakamura: World Title
The real main event.  I can see this being as good or better than their WrestleKingdom match, but this time there's little chance of them being upstaged.  Asuka-Charlotte is the probably the only other match that might compare.  I am looking forward to relaxing back into the easy chair during this one, knowing that my fandom will be duly serviced, and all will be well from bell to bell.  I don't care who wins, but I'm mostly rooting for Nakamura so that they'll have to wrestle again soon.

Yay wrasslin!  SCW number one forever!  Forever!  Forever!  Forever!  Forever! Forever!  Forever!  Forever!  Ichiban! Thank you!  I love you!  Good night!

2017, W(w)e Hard[L]y [K]New(jpw) Ye(hi, Fred)

Ummmm get it?  I think my zeal for wordplay has been outpaced by my ineptitude at... wordplay.

So, it's two weeks into January, and every wrestling pundit on the net besides us posted their year-end thoughts at least a month ago.  I think I wrote one in October once.  But how mature, how self-possessed we must be to allow ourselves some breathing room to really savor and dwell on the entirety of the past 12 months, to really challenge ourselves to take in a broad scope of understanding, meditate on it, and then pick apart some nuance and delve into the finer details during this time of reflection.  Or, maybe I've just been procrastinating writing this, which feels more obligatory than imperative.

That's not to say there hasn't been plenty to be excited about this year, it's just that most of it has already been lauded to the point of exhaustion, with the 5 stars, 6 stars, 7 stars, etcetera.  Let this post serve not to beat a dead horse, but to serve posterity as being the shiniest beacon of pure, wholesome, horribly marky and beautifully jaded pro-wresting fan drivel in the blogosphere: Quarter Marshall's Annual Opinion-o-thon!

Match of the Year: Of course it's going to be an Okada match.  His run with the IWGP Heavyweight Championship (which predates 2017, and continues to present) is on everybody's short-list of 2017 highlights, and I'm toward the front of the mark parade, waving the Rainmaker flag right next to Gedo.  Okada's my favorite wrestler working today, there's no doubt about it.  I mean, I think there are some other performers who have Okada's storytelling ability (AJ, Tanahashi, and Asuka might top that list), but being top player in New Japan means you have the best spot to tell great in-ring stories, and Okada's been knocking it out of the park with what's regularly being called the best title run in wrestling history.  The most talked-about of his matches (at least in the Western hemisphere) were the trilogy against Kenny Omega, an amazing series which will go down in history.  Other title defenses this year included Minoru Suzuki, Bad Luck Fale, Evil , and Cody, bookended by 2016 and 2018 classics with Naito.  (Also, let the record show there was a great defense against Naomichi Marufuji in late 2016.)  My personal pick, a sentimental selection for favorite match of 2017, was his defense against Katsuyori Shibata.  Likely his last match due to head injury sustained therein, Shibata's performance felt like the epitome of a swansong- a phrase referring to an ancient belief that a swan would let out a beautiful call before its death, after having been silent for most of its life.  The match told a beautiful story, with the crowd playing an integral part, as they loudly shifted favorites as the energies of the wrestlers waxed and waned.  By the final stretch, with Shibata embodying the fighting spirit, and Okada selling his ass off but seemingly unbeatable, the crowd was firmly in Shibata's corner, but after the three count, and Okada's arm was raised, they were still totally into it.  It was just an epic story Shibata and Okada told in the ring, one of the only matches I've re-watched this year, and I think the only match I've watched three times.  I believe that it would be my top match even if Shibata hadn't been retired by it, but I have to admit that aspect makes it a sentimental favorite on top of it already being being a pure storytelling/great pro-wrestling classic.

Wrestler of the Year: I don't really have one singled out.  I've already extolled the storytelling prowess of Okada, and admitted he's my favorite wrestler.  Kenny Omega is perseveringly innovative and has maybe the best offense I've ever seen.  AJ Styles is the "Five Star Match with a Broomstick" candidate for worker of the year.  I'm looking at Asuka, Samoa Joe, Neville, Suzuki, Naito, Tanahashi... some people are saying Reigns and Strowman, I've got three words for them: Wha.  Te.  Ver.  There are great talents and performances all over, but it's impossible to compete with the storytelling platform of the New Japan main event.  Gun to my head, it's Okada, but the case can be made for Omega, and Styles even being in the conversation says tons about his ability to rise above cable tv mediocrity.

WWE Matches of the Year: Since I'm biased against their (usually homogenized) match style, I would like to draw attention to some favorite 2017 matches of mine.  Firstly, Abbey Laith vs Jazzy Gabert from round one, day one of the Mae Young Classic.  This is a great example of a match that you could show to a non-fan, where they'd probably "get it", with Abbey being the obvious underdog, but bringing the noise to the fight, showing tremendous in-ring work and emotion throughout.  From the way she hopelessly sells Gabert's offense to the way she plants her feet when throwing forearms, Laith might have my vote for babyface performance of the year.  I had goosebumps and Alice and I were kinda choked up by the finish, even the second time we watched it together.  This set the bar high for the rest of the tournament, and for my money was best of the whole event, Kairi Sane vs Toni Storm notwithstanding.  Other WWE standout matches: Samoa Joe vs Brock Lesnar.  AJ Styles vs Brock Lesnar.  Does that make it sound like Brock Lesnar is WWE wrestler of the year?  No way.  There's probably some NXT stuff which belongs on the short-list.  Aleister Black vs Velveteen Dream?  Lars Sullivan vs Demitrius Bronson?  The reality of my lovelife which surrounds me vs Nikki Cross?

I wish I had more to say about ROH.  It isn't their fault they keep getting talent-raided by WWE, but the fact remains that my fandom has fallen off a lot this year.  I still tune in for the big shows, and they're always enjoyable, but not enough to get me back into watching weekly, which is dumb of me because when I was a bigger fan, I preferred their tv to their ppvs.  Maybe it just comes down to the amount of time I have to watch wrestling.  It's not like I'm watching Raw or Smackdown, either.

I think Jim Cornette was involved with Impact in 2017.  Now Don "the Jackyl" "Cyrus the Virus" "Mark-for-himself Jerkoff" Callous is in the mix.  Billy Corgan bought NWA.  Chris Jericho had a helluvarun, especially if the first week of 2018 is factored in.  Some people died, probably.  Really important people I can't recall at the moment, but whose presence will be felt across the industry for all time god bless them.  WWE fired Emma those basterds.  Austin Aries leaves WWE by choice and talks about what a great decision it was because his schedule's way easier and he makes more money.  This becomes a really interesting topic of conversation, as the non-WWE path is perceived as a viable alternative, with the Young Bucks being flag-bearers of lucrative indie opportunities, with their (and other Bullet Club members') merch being top sellers at Hot Topics across our great nation of shitty malls.  Daniel Bryan keeps talking about wanting to wrestle again.

In all, we've seen wrestling evolve and improve.  New records were set, and we even had multiple contenders (per Meltzer) for best match of all time, which sounds like hyperbole, but I think is not outside the realm of reason.  Looking at this year from 2007 would be insane.  <3QM

G1 Climax 27 Cribsheet & Doodlefest

Blue skies, sweaty beer, lawn clippings, and working extra hours to cover for vacationing co-workers.  Lady and Gentlemen, it's Summer in America.  Time to cast off the extra layer of clothes that disguise your lovehandles during the other 9 months of the year.  Time to get sunburned while idly daydreaming what it would be like to not exist anymore.  Time to start drinking as soon as you get off work (not to be confused with Winter--same deal, different beverage).  Time to watch a hundred pro wrestling matches between twenty men while other men are screaming about it in a language you can't understand, while you take dictation from it in the form of an esoteric scribbling shorthand that looks like the work of an autistic kindergartner who has an obsession with thighs.  Are we still on the same page?  My friends, it's time for the G1 Climax!

Today, the competitors were assigned to their two blocks of competition.  I've compiled some notes about each wrestler, and have ordered them below without bias (order is from the block listing on my favorite pro-wrestling site, Wikipedia).


BLOCK A

Bad Luck Fale (Bullet Club)  A very traditional heel.  In the sense that he is always a credible threat who almost always loses.

Hirooki Goto (Chaos)  After winning his block last year, and having a run with the Never title, Goto could either keep sailing on in the upper-mid, or slip further into his slump.  I think it has something to do with his character.  Either way, he does great moves and will not win.

Kota Ibushi (Team Tiger Awesome)  Back from his long hiatus (kayfaaaabe!) Kota returns to much hype and excitement.  His not being in the same block as Kenny is my 2nd biggest disappointment about the way the blocks are booked.

Tomohiro Ishii (Chaos)  Coincidentally, Ishii and Okada being in different blocks is my number 1 biggest disappointment.  I know that Omega and Ibushi will hook up in singles again before too long, but it's only in G1 that we get Okada-Ishii.  Still, this takes nothing away from the Marshall-approved "Mr. G1", who has been arguably the greatest performer in the tournament for the past 3 years.

Togi Makabe (Last Lone GBH)  Togi hungry!

Yuji Nagata (Blue Justice League)  With a higher percentage of big bruiser-types being in Block A, I'll be rooting extra hard for Yuji to make some choice upsets.  I don't know for how many more years the Charismatic Enigma De Japon can do this grueling tournament, but I'll enjoy it for as long as it lasts.  (Just looked it up, this will be his final Climax.)

Tetsuya Naito (Los Ingobernables)  A standout performer on every card he's on, but on a similar platform as Goto in terms of likelihood of a slump versus treading water.  I'll be looking for Naito to make some waves in A Block, possible including a revenge win over Tanahashi.

Zack Sabre Jr (Suzuki-Gun)  For me, the most exciting competitor who is new to the tournament this year (there are 2).  He could easily have been in the Junior-Heavyweight tournament instead, as was his arch-nemesis/best friend (depending on what you're watching) Marty Scurll.  It will be amazing to see him trying make a pretzel out of the fireplug-built Ishii, barrel-built Goto, and Godzilla-built Fale.  Or maybe he'll just lose those matches.

Hiroshi Tanahashi (Ace)  Current, fresh-as-a-daisy IC Champ.  Something tells me this tournament is not his, but it could serve to provide him with some fresh match-ups.  Wins over Fale, Goto, and Naito would solidify his return to grace, but losses to Sabre, Ibushi, and Ishii could be blood in the water for possible title defenses.

Yoshi-Hashi (Chaos kid brother)  Personifies the spirit of the G1, because he shows off how even the least utilized NJPW talents know how to have a great match.  On an unrelated note, why isn't Yujiro Takahashi in the G1 anymore?

BLOCK B

Michael Elgin (Peripheral Ace Squad)  I wasn't super excited about his inclusion last year, but he put on quite the performance.  This year I'll be looking to be pleasantly surprised again, though I'll be less surprised.  He's bringing a lot of power and strength to Block B.

"King of Darkness" Evil (Los Ingobernables)  Apparently Laser-Discs used to be a thing.  I remember seeing one, once.  Will the next generation believe there used to be a goatee-stroking, cosplay-scythe-toting, purple-ponytail-bouncing bad guy called Evil?  It's been a couple years, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.

Satoshi Kojima (Tencozy good cop)  "I took a bus yesterday and took a drive for 7hours. A journey is an important job of a wrestler. I ate a lot of bread."

Kazuchika Okada (Chaos)  I have heaps of praise for so many of the G1 competitors, not to mention my favorites outside New Japan.  Still, Okada is my favorite wrestler working today.  I could do a whole post about it, but it would be embarrassing.  The main thing is just that his style of storytelling always manages to hook me.

Kenny Omega (Bullet Club/Elite)  The biggest match going into the G1 is Kenny's 3rd match vs Kazuchika.  A 1-1-1 record between them would be a great story, and epic ground for a 4th match that (already) has ridiculous expectations.  King's road, baby.

 Juice Robinson (Peripheral Ace Squad)  What is that, a goddamn gummy bear?  And why am I staring at a grown man's muscular tuchus to see if that is or isn't a goddamn gummy bear?

Sanada (Los Ingobernables)  His dragon sleeper got over last year with some high-profile wins.  He hasn't had much singles attention lately, so maybe he'll be like a little viper-ish Fale in G1, picking dudes off randomly.  It goes to show how great NJPW is at booking when you believe a guy might beat anybody in G1 despite not having had a singles run since last year's tournament.

Minoru Suzuki (Suzuki-Gun)  Hasn't been in the G1 since 2014, when he and Suzuki-Gun tore the house down with AJ Styles and Bullet Club.  I'm looking forward to Suzuki's matches more than any other single competitor.

Tama Tonga (Bullet Club/GOD)  I really enjoy watching Tonga's matches, but I really really hope he isn't wearing yoga pajamas this year.

Toru Yano (Chaos)  The ultimate wildcard.  Can make G1 as thrilling as he can make it frustrating, depending on who your favorites and least favorites are.

The tournament will begin on July 17th, a couple days after our SCW reunion.  Stay tuned for more pointless fanposts just for us.  It's going to be a good Wrestling Summer. 

Mania Weekend of the Heart

For the past two months, the front page of SCW has featured a snarky, sarcastic, bitter, jaded column which I wrote because I was frustrated with myself for being excited (in my heart) for a WWE PPV which I believed (in my brain) would be a waste of time.  I'm not saying it wasn't funny (I'm hilarious), but for it to be the most recent post for so long has given a tinge of negativity to SCW, and that ain't right.  With this post, I'd like to shine a light on some of the things I'm looking forward to watching this weekend.  Obviously, there will be more shows than I'll be able to watch, including shows from promotions I like but don't follow closely, like Evolve, Chikara and WWE.  :)

ROH Supercard of Honor 11

This is the overall card I'm most looking forward to.  Largely because Silas Young is on it.  Headlined by tag champs the Young Bucks defending against the Broken Hardys, which could be argued is as much of a dream match for smarks as Goldberg vs Lesnar is for marks.  Chris Daniel's World title being challenged by Dalton Castle, and Marty Scurll's TV title being challenged by Adam Cole are great secondary main-event-level matches, the rest of the show looks to be reliably solid.  The Briscoes/Bully vs GOD/Hangman match is the only one that doesn't make sense to me on paper, but it'll probably have its moments.  I'll be looking for Ospreay/Volador vs Lee/White to steal the early half of the show, and the Kingdom vs Young/Bruiser match to deliver huge entertainment value.  I'm curious with that one whether the Kingdom will be finding a third member (assuming that TK ORyan is still injured) so that they can continue to defend their 3-man tag titles.  Silas and Beer City Bruiser cut a promo on ROH tv saying they'd found the perfect guy to join them to challenge for the 3-man belts, so of course I'm very curious who they're looking at.  They did the same promo once before, and Bull James came out, they wrestled a 3-man match together, everything seemed fine, and then they jumped him.  I wouldn't hate it if they worked the same kind of gimmick on somebody else.  I've been thinking about doing another Fave Five list so that I could put Silas Young on it.  Okada, Naito, Styles, Ishii, Young... yeah I dunno something like that.

NXT Takeover Orlando

Right now the wikipedia page for this event only lists 5 matches.  I want to watch all of them.  I don't understand why the team of crazy people are called Sanity, but then again, how much better would the Social Outcasts have been if they were called the Cool Kids?  Nakamura and Asuka could steal this show, and possibly the entire weekend, but DIY and the Revival have stolen shows before, especially when sharing the ring, so that will be another one to watch.  Tommy End will debut as Aleister Black.  Killian Big Damo Dain and Roddy Strong will share a ring.  Heidi Lovelace has a cool new name.  Nikki Cross is my tv crush.

Wrestlemania 33

Neville vs Aries is a world-class badass match.  Wyatt/Orton could be an interesting character thing.  Styles/McMahon will be interesting from the standpoint of being a fan who tends to heavily favor the "workers" (as exemplified by AJ).  Owens/Jericho should be fun, though I would really like to see them be friends forever (hug it out?  hug it out?)  The tag three-way should also be fun, there's a lot of greatness that could come out of that.  The Raw women's match has potential, and they'll be gunning to try and steal the show.  For me, Rollins/HHH has had the most compelling build, and is also the most compelling match-up wrestling-wise, so this will be my most anticipated story to be told on Sunday.  I wish they'd bring in YoshiTatsu to do color commentary for that one, so he could monosyllabically explain how devastating the pedigree is.  The other matches on the card could be good as well, but that's what I'm excited about.

TV shows after Mania

Will Smackdown Live be the new Raw after Raw after Wrestlemania?  I wonder.  I'll be watching both shows and waiting for Finn to come back, and for Nakamura to show up.  If I had my drothers, Shinsuke would be a Raw guy, and Finn would be Smackdown, thought I wouldn't complain unless they just both went to Raw.  Just so long as one of them can wrestle AJ, I'll be happy and at least marginally reinvested in WWE tv.

Another thing I'll be looking forward to is hearing about what shows get a buzz, because that will get me to watch new things that I hadn't planned on or possibly even heard of before.  

Long live wrestling.  Long live friendship.  Long live SCW.

SCN: We Fake Fight on Friday Night

THE FOLLOWING WBLOG IS SPOILER-FREE

Greetings all Aztecs and Neros,

My lovely spouse is away, and this mouse is going to watch some wrestling.  I've been keeping up with things pretty well in general (except WWE tv shows, I'm still on temporary strike), but this week we got the season opener for Lucha Underground, an episode of Impact that everyone is talking about, the King of Trios shows came out, and... am I missing anything?  I dunno.  Anyway, my plan this evening is to eat some vegetables, drink some vegetables, watch wrestling, write about wrestling.  A plate of asparagus and a bloody mary are on the table, so the only question is What to watch first?

Chikara King of Trios 2016 Night One
I had the winners of this 3-day-long tournament spoiled on Facebook, but I wanted to watch it anyway.  Having not watched any Chikara yet this year, the KoT offers a "casual" fan like me a chance to catch up on the storylines, while appreciating all the great talent they bring in to mingle with their already strong roster.

It was fun to come back to Chikara.  Some things are different, and some things never change.  The Batiri are red now, but Juan Francisco De Coronado still takes forever to get to the ring.  It felt great to see the Colony again, I'd been very curious to see what incarnation they'd be in.  Same goes with the disciples of Nasmal Dun (sp?), the Throwbacks, the Osirian Portal, etc.  I was not disappointed with the current state of the promotion, and will look forward to checking back in with the characters at the season finale, if not before.

The fourth match was a highlight, especially the interchange between C.L. and M.J.  The main event was another highlight, especially the interchange between D.G. and P.K.

Supercop Dick Justice is one of my favorite new gimmicks.  The name, at least.

 I don't remember if it was there before, but Oleg the Usurper's one-slinged singlet offered a showcase of a butterfat tit that almost reminded me of my highschool girlfriend, minus about 85% of the perk.

One of the best long-running features of Chikara was on display in awesome form, as Joey Styles kept things rocking and rolling at the Commentation Station with tremendous alternating co-broadcasters Bryce and Quack.  There has been some great commentary in wrestling lately, and these teams hold up against just about anybody.

I ate most of my asparagus before the first match even started!  Hungry for more vegetable, I made  popcorn, and washed it down with a second bloody mary.  I know what I've gotta watch next, but now the question is What will I eat and drink?

TNA Impact Sept. 8, 2016  &  Final Deletion 2: Delete or Decay (Director's Cut)
Seared brussel sprouts.  Another bloody mary.  Feelin like the buttery goober cousin of The Big "Feed Me More" Guy nee Ryback nee Skip Sheffield nee The Silverback Gorilla nee I-Don't-Know-I-Haven't-Listened-To-His-Latest-Podcast-Which-Details-His-Origin-Story-I-Only-Listened-To-The-First-One-But-I-Didn't-Really-Like-It nee Ryan Reeves.

Speaking of podcasts, I was talked into watching this by Marty and Sarah.  I wasn't into The Final Deletion 1, but I didn't hate it either.  I think I might have covered that in the most recent MMS, but that episode sucked and I wish I'd prepared for it better so that my thoughts would have been more concise and well-presented.  As are the benefits of writing, even if I am getting steadily drunker.

So, I watched this thinking I would get another hour-plus of Hardy drama, but lo and behold it was indeed Impact.  There were some Hardy segments spread throughout the show, and they had the entire last half-hour, which I watched in its "Director's Cut" form instead of the TV version.  However, since I did watch the bulk of Impact, I will share my thoughts on that first.

Moose is, and has been in the Impact Zone, which is news to me.  He has the same ROH theme music, and I'm wondering how that's possible, unless both shows are still on Destination America, which I'd thought was not the case anymore.  Dixie Carter as the GM figure reminded me how bad TNA could be.  And sometimes is.  Jeremy Borash's face has inflated like he's allergic to pessimistic speculation.  I wish he'd grow a beard.  Billy Corgan's visage begs for a metaphor more trenchant than I can presently muster.  I wish he'd grow a handlebar eyebrow.  But I'm not here to cast aspersions on the way people look, how shallow would that be?  No, I'm here to verbally gunstun the creative decision-making aspects of pro wrestling shows.  So let me get back on track.

I was excited to see Sandow, then disappointed to see his name was Aron Rex.  I can dig the spelling of Aron, that was Elvis' middle name (common crossword clue), but nobody's last name is Rex.  Except Oedipus.  Classical archetype though he may be, not the rolest of models.

True to form, TNA had some really dumb stuff.  Taking the cake were a couple of point-driven multi-round matches, like boxing, which didn't work for me at all.  At least the gimmick should be short-lived, as it seems to be a kind of experiment as they build contenders for their new Grand Championship, which to me presents issues of its own.  I absolutely hate the Universal Championship, I feel like it dilutes every other title in the WWE, and strips the facade of kayfabe competition from the entire promotion.  So for TNA, a much smaller company, to come out with a similarly generic "top" singles title to sit next to their World Championship, seems even more painfully dumb.

On the plus side, a long press conference segment between EC3 and Lashley was pretty fun to listen to while I was on my phone.


As I said, Marty and Sarah talked me into revisiting TNA, but listening to Broken Matt on Talk is Jericho didn't hurt.  The Hardy stuff is super-interesting as a separate entity from TNA, it has it's own feel and-- no hyperbole-- its own mythology.  In the Final Deletion 2, unlike part 1, there isn't even the pretext of having a wrestling match, though it is still somehow very very very wrestling.  Also superior to F.D. part 1 are the video and audio editing, which in this latest installation really flesh out the uncommon vision, and set an engrossingly unique tone.  I went into this surprised that everyone seemed to be talking about it, but afterward I'm surprised that it isn't being talked about more.  Without getting into the plot and character specifics, or the individual moments, I loved Final Deletion 2.

Now it's much later than I''d thought it would be after watching just 2 wrestling shows.  I thought I'd have time for more than 3, but I think this next one will have to be the last, as it's already 1 am.  I started at 6:30, how did this take me 5.5 hours?  Maybe too much cooking.  For this last leg, I'll finish my veggie journey with the dregs of my bloody mary mix and some corn chips.  Hey they're organic, alright?

Lucha Underground Season 3 Opener
The main event of this show would look great on paper, but without any built, it fell to the same weakness as the rest of the program.  I just didn't care that much about the dramatic elements.  Maybe that's an effect of not following Season 2 closely, maybe it's a product of most of the heels and faces working to pop the crowd instead of working for heat and comebacks, though I know LU has done that really well at some points in the past.  I think Season 3 will have some great highlights, and some cool story arcs, but there was a lot packed into this first hour, and not enough of it had the substance to draw me in yet.

----------

That's it from QMarshy tonight.  My promise of vegetables has officially gone off the rails, as I'm now depending on the pimentos in the olives in the watered-down vodka of my martini facsimile to carry the weight of my dietary code this evening.

Too bad I watched the Cruiserweight Classic show on Wednesday, that would have rounded this post out nicely.  Suffice to say, I think it's great, and at the end of the year will make for an interesting comparison to G1, which is saying a lot.

Will AJ be Realchamp when WWEsmackdownLIVEevent comes to the Moda Center?? I listened to a comp of his theme songs while I finished writing this up.  Too bad Talking Smack isn't a touring program, I'd pay buku bucks to sit in on that good party!

Of course g'night, fellas.