Raw timemachine 1 25 1993

AND IIIIIIIIII E I, WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUU EOHUOUO!!!!! (Number one on the charts at this time)

It's monday janyary 25th 1993. I'm in 5th grade. I really like baseball and Michael Jackson. For some reason i don't remember this time really well. School kinda sucks, my grades are not good and i hate my teacher. Life outside of school is great. My neighborhood is full of kids of all ages. We all play together all the time. The biggest pastime is baseball which we play until we can't see the ball anymore. I don't really watch wrestling anymore. Life kinda revolves around candy and baseball.

Anyway. It's monday night. A school night, and RAW is on!!!!

So what we wanna really grab the audience right away. This is RAW. A totally fresh and new show. So how do we grab em by the balls? The REPO MAN of course! You may have forgotten but Repo still has Macho's hat. And for some reason Macho only has one. Repo threatens to repossess Macho's career while doing his best Frank Gorshin impression. Excitement!

Our commentators for the evening are Vinnie Mac, The Brain and my all time fav Rob Bartlet. They tease the show, which sounds like it's going to be full of technical, 5 star bouts. We will see the Bushwackers! Kamala! And a match by two fat jobbers by the name of Mr. Perfect and Ric Flair. Who cares....

DING DING DING Let us jump right in to a PPV worthy match. Repo vs Macho. Macho caries the match and the two actually do a good job. Savage wins, of course, and gets back his stupid, bright, shiny dumb, cowboy hat. And now all is well in the world. You can sleep well again.

Now that was a hot match. Let's keep the momentum going. Grab a couple masters of the ring and have em put on a classic. I know just the two...

Kamala VS The Brooklyn Brawler. Funny thing about the Brawler, I loved him as  a kid. I didn't understand jobbers or even upper and lower card status when i was little. Everyone was equal (except for Hulk Hogan and Beatlejuice who were gods). So i was always excited to see the Brawler. This match was what you would expect. Kamala, after wrestling for years, for some reason doesn't know how to pin someone.SO the drama came from Kamala laying on Brawler while the Brawler was face down. The audience was surprisingly stoked on this. I was not. I expected more out of these high fliers.

Ok, Flair vs Perfect. This is a loser leaves town match. Funny thing is, i wasn't really interested. Plus it was good so i don't have any funny things to say about it. Stupid good matches... Perfect wins, Flair goes to wcw. And how do you follow such a classic?

You don't. We are outta time. No Bushwackers this week. DANG. But you gotta tune in next week. They tease Doink vs Typhoon which has 5 stars all over it.

 Till next week

Rusty nickles age 10 and a half.

Raw timemachine #2 - 1.18.1993

Episode 2 1.18.1993

More action, more drama, who writes this shit?! It's time for MONDAY NIGHT RAWWWWW!!!

Let us get this show started right, by making a uber dated reference. Lame-o commentator Rob Bartlet holds up a picture of Bobby Heenan and rips it in half. "fight the real enemy" he says, just like SineadO'connor did about a year earlier. Stupid!!! Suddenly the Macho Man is attacked from behind from a real real enemy, The Repo Man!! Repo jumps and giggles like the Riddler and steals Macho's neon colored cowboy hat. Macho Man, beat up and balding, holds his arm in pain. His hat! The noive!
Cue the theme.

Our first match of this night is Mr Perfect vs The Red Rooster. Only it's not the Red Rooster, it's Terry Taylor. I liked him better with the short red mohawk. Not a bad match but not the most exciting. So far i like how RAW puts upper card guys against midcarders and they actually have a match. This must have blown people away after years of jobbers. Mr. Perfect gets the 1 2 3.

Next up, the Hitman comes out to the ring and has a interview with Vince. He comments on how Razor Ramon said a bunch of shit about his family and kicked Owens ass. Kinda the usual face promo. But i don't care, Bret Hart rules and i can't wait for this match. Ill be reviewing these episodes of RAW and the PPV's as well. Really looking forward to that match.

How do you follow up a Hitman Hart promo? Why not with a Marty Janetty match? I actually think that Janetty gets a really bad rap. It's sad. He was a good wrestler, just overshadowed by HBK. But this match doesn't do him any favors. He is up against Glen Ruth, a jobber who ended up as one of the headbangers. The amazing thing about this match is just how 80's the guys look. But it's 1993! I was only 11 so i had no idea what was going on. You were right in the middle of grunge and still everyone looked like they were from poison, with mullets that they started growing in 1986.

The dramatic feud between Kona Crush and Doink rages on. We are treated to a clip from Superstars where Doink attacks Crush with a fake arm. Kooky!

Speaking of great feuds, we are treated to more Macho vs Repo. I like this story. It's so old school Unfortunately it's 1993 and i can see why the WWF would have issues with ratings a little later on. But for entertainment purposes in 2012 i love it. Repo is interviewed by Sean Mooney and gives Macho a bunch of shit about his hat. Macho is really mad about his hat and wants it back. The Royal Rumble is on the way and Macho threatens to kicks Repo's ass. Great stuff. Shakespeare couldn't have done better.

Next up, tonight's main event. Ric Flair vs Tito Santana. . Ric does his usual tricks, all but bleeding all over the place. They put on a classic style match. Near the end Ric is ambushed by Mr. Perfect and beaten up bad. Ric cuts a promo challenging Perfect to a loser leaves town match next week on raw. Perfect excepts. Should be interesting considering the Royal Rumble is just a week away.

Overall it was a good Raw. Rob Barlet was less irritating than last week. We got to see a lot of stars who we didn't see last week. And we got some new things to look forward to for next week. I gotta say i love these so far. You get the regional promotion feel , which i love considering i was raised on Portland Wrestling. But you also get all the legends of the era.

Till next week!
RustyNickles316

UNCOOKED UNCUT UNSENSORED AND WEIRD. MONDAY NIGHT RAW EP 1

EPISODE ONE - 1 .11.1993

I'm always looking for old school wrestling to watch. It relaxes me. So yesterday i decided that i would just DL the first ten episodes of Monday Night RAW. It sounded like a good idea at the time. Now i;m not so sure. I have just entered a whole new world of weirdness. And if I'm having to go thru it im dragging SCW down with me.

Well, right off the bat i see that RAW was a whole lot different when it started than it even was a few years later. Sean Mooney introduces us to Monday Night RAW LIVE from NY. He is then interrupted by Bobby Heenan who is desperate to get in. No one will let him in and i don't know why. Thru the episode he dresses up as a woman and as a jew but gets busted every time.

We then meet the commentators for the night. Macho Man, Vince, and Rob Bartlet. I have no idea who Rob Bartlet is but I already hate him. He has no idea who any of the wrestlers are and is constantly cracking really stupid jokes about them. I almost turned the show off the first minute i heard him talk. Lucky for us he will be hone in about 15 episodes, i hope i can make it.

Our first match is Coco Beware vs Yokozuna. Coco surprised me in this match with some good jump kicks and stuff. Yoko kinda did nothing. Rob Bartlet spent the whole match talking about how Yoko needed a bra and was fat and was Oriental and ate a lot. Yoko gets the pin after crushing Coco to death with his ass.

Next up we get some hot tag team action when The Steiner Brothers go against the Executioners. This was a fun match because I know that the Steiners loved to absolutely annihilate jobbers. I liked watching their sadistic smirks after cloths lining the opponents outta their shoes. Of course, the Steiners won.

Razor Ramon comes out in a super wild shirt and cuts a really slow promo on Bret Hart. The promo was boring but it got me excited to watch RAW next week because Bret Hart will be on. Razor throws his toothpick into Vince's face after the interview which is a move i gotta try at work to my customers.

Tonight is a huge deal! We are LIVE. The commentators keep using this choreographed catchphrase thingy "uncut uncensored and uncooked " . Each commentator saying a different word. So to celebrate such a momentous occasion let's have a TITLE MATCH!!! The intercontinental champ HBK makes it to the ring to his original theme (sung by Sensational Shari). His opponent? MAX MOON!!! WHO IS GUNNA WIN????? The match was good tho. HBK is always great. And Max Moon at least has pretty colors on his tights.

The final match of the night was a doozie. I have never heard of Damian Demento in my life but he looked cool. His jacket has teeth. And it was really cool to see The Undertaker way back then. He has such a cool look. I think they called heroin chic. The match was kinda boring but cute at the same time. In just a few years wrestling would be completely different. It was still a fun match.

We end this episode on a low note. Kona Crush get's in Doink the clowns face and cuts the worlds most unscathing promo, scalding him on making kids cry. I mean, this was the worst promo i ever heard. The only cool part of it was his 2 foot mullet. That was a amazing mullet.

So that's all for this week. Bobby Heenan finally got into the building, Rob Bartlet is one week closer to being fired , I just lost 40 minutes of my life ill never get back and you just lost 5 for reading this. See you next week in 1993.