April 07, 2014

Quarter Marshall's Wrestlemania 30 Review

Wow, I'm spinning.  Partly because it's past 4 am, partly because I've been watching wrestling for 5 or 6 hours, but mostly because I think I just watched the coolest Wrestlemania in at least ten years.

Openening Segment
Usually this kind of thing is lame, but it was awesome.  First there Hulk Hogan saying "Silverdome" a few times, effectively hushing the crowd that was super-hot just a minute before, that was hilarious.  You guys know what a mark I am for Stone Cold, and there he was, large and in charge.  He really made it for me, but Rock elevated it even further with some signature banter and catchphrasing, which wasn't nearly as forced or obnoxious as his promos from the past few Wrestlemania seasons.  The opening segment was fun.

DBD v HHH
I was looking forward to this match more than any other on the card.  They've been trading finishers for the better part of a year, but had never had a match.  Also, I figured it would have to be brutal, to send Bryan into the main event as battered as possible.  I loved how it opened the show, and how a lot of it was really mat-based.  I wouldn't have picked HHH to be the guy to jerk the curtain, so to speak, although I guess there was the pre-show to do that (which I didn't finish, so won't review.)  The match was great and it lived up to my expectations.  Good story.

Shield v Authority
Short and sweet, I guess.  If I had one disappointment about the show... okey, if I had TWO disappointments, one would be that the Shield only wrestled for a couple of minutes.  But I guess since they were battling guys almost twice their age, I guess it was as good as it was gonna be.  Believe in the Shield!

The Andre the Giant Memorial Over-the-Top-Rope Battle Royal
Big Show was getting put over so much on TV, like "he's the favorite to win", and the announcers wouldn't shut up about him.  I actually bought it, thinking that yeah, he probably will win it, that would be boring enough to meet the current standard.  Alice was more optimistic and picked Ziggler.  What actually happened I would not have thought possible.  Magnificent.  Also, it was just fun all around, and not the shitfest I was kind of expecting.

Cena v Wyatt
This was interesting.  As many times as Cena has teased a heel turn, this time I was really starting to buy into it.  Now that I can visualize it, I'm wondering if that will come into play on Raw, or in the coming weeks/months.  Or maybe not, and Cena is just Cena and moves on to the next bad guy.  In any case, it was a pretty dazzling match.  Cena's the man, and Wyatt's talent is astounding.

Lesnar v Undertaker
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!??!?!!??!?!?!??!?!
*still processing*
The crowd shots were funny, I'm sure I looked like that.  Jaw slack, eyes bugging out.  I sat like that for about half an hour.  I think the match was kinda good but it's hard to think about.  I'll do it tomorrow.  I don't know if I hate it or if I think it was ballsy and cool.  I really wanted Punk to win last year.  Holy fuck.

The Vickie Guerrero Diva's Championship Invitational Battle Royal
Talk about a tough act to follow.  The crowd was completely in shock.  AJ won, good for her.

DBD v Orton v Batista
Of course Bryan was going to win this, I think we all were at least 90% sure of that.  Still, it was a super ride, and should continue to be, as the Authority pulls itself together.  Sure, the story had its bumps along the way, as I was always ready and willing to grouse about here on the internet, but I never doubted that Bryan had a huge moment on the horizon, and I've been looking forward to it as much as the next guy.  I think my favorite moment was when they brought back the dirty referee, that was a great detail.  I hope he gets used more, a la Nick Patrick, that Kenny Powers lookin motherfucker.  Anyway back to the match, yeah that was good.  Bryan and Orton were killin it, and two out of three ain't bad!

Those are my immediate thoughts, post-Mania.  More insight may or may not come to me later, but I'm pretty tired now, so I'll wrap up with some random thoughts which I'm too lazy to frame into proper paragraphs.

-Invasion Attack also happened.  Can't wait to see Tanahashi-Nakamura and the Young Bucks match.  And most of the rest of the card.

-I love the way HHH has been selling for Bryan, especially at the end of last week's Raw-- that cracked me up.  It's also funny how he sold the sledgehammer, that he had to go backstage with his tail between his legs.  He's really been putting Bryan over, and making good TV at the same time.

-Before I watched Mania, I was expecting Raw to be batshit insane, but now I don't know what else they can do to surprise me.  Maybe Cena will turn heel or Sting will show up, but I'm doubtful.  For the past I-don't-know-how-many years the post-Mania Raw has outshined the PPV, but this year seems to be shaping up differently, which is definitely a good thing.  Looking forward to tonight's show a whole lot nonetheless.  Maybe Punk will reappear, but I'm doubtful of that as well.  I have no idea what will happen at Raw.

-Poncho Man, I concur with your appraisal of Mr. T's Hall of Fame speech as being "epic".  I never wanted it to end.  His mother should be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame next year so that he can finish his speech.  I think he may only have just gotten warmed up.

April 05, 2014

Poncho Man's Wrestlemania 30 Preview

Hi guys,

I miss you.

Vickie Guerrero Divas Championship Invitational
So, I guess WWE now thinks that people hate AJ more than they hate Vickie. OR they know that AJ will probably be cheered by a hot Wrestlemania crowd. It would be hilarious if her fiance was just hanging out in the audience watching the show. Jokes. I also expect a slight "we want Paige" chant.

Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Things I expect to see....Goldust and Cody going at it. Michael Cole acting like Big Show being taken out is the most important moment in the history of everything. Del Rio taking out Big E. The crowd being hot for Ryder. Kofi doing something crazy. Rusev lasting a long time (he's not officially in the match I guess). Papa Shango (It's in New Orleans). And finally, if Warrior isn't in it....I think Cody or Dolph win the thing.

The Shield vs Kane & The New Age Outlaws
You know...I don't have much to say about this. I think it should be a pretty entertaining match. Lots of intrigue on The Shield side. I would have really enjoyed them splitting and facing each other at Wrestlemania. Maybe now they'll save it for SummerSlam or something. I've also been enjoying the Outlaws probably more than I ever have. I think the first time around they just made me sad that Michaels was gone.

The Usos vs. Los Matadores vs. Rybaxel vs. The Real Americans (Fatal Four Way for the WWE World Tag Team Championship)
I'm really not a big Usos guy, but I think the chances of Cesaro winning this are slim (I kinda just forget about Swagger...). Spin the bull....get a pop. It's too bad Ryback quit getting time to say weird shit on tv. Oh shit...I just read that this is on the Pre-Show....the fucking Divas get the main show!?!!?! Oh I guess with the Network it means nothing.

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt
Well the outcome doesn't matter, but boy howdy is this booked well. I read someone describing this as the same story as CM Punk vs Cena, and I guess Punk was a cult leader for awhile....but Punk didn't have that aura of maybe being magical. Whatever....even if Super Cena does his Super Cena thing....I think Sister Abigail will be happy by the end of the night.

Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar
It's weird, seems like the internet seems to think this is going to be amazing. I'm a little nervous. Brock wrestled completely differently back in the day...and really Brock has two awesome matches since being back (vs. Cena and vs. Punk). I also remember such things as Taker vs. Big Show and Albert and Taker vs. Big Boss Man. I've probably said all this before. Cautiously optimistic.

Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Sorry Marshall....they got me back on board. I know they had to call an audible...but this shit is awesome. Triple H constantly trolling us. Using DBD to his strengths.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton vs. Batista for the WWE World Heavyweight Title
It's weird. At this point I'm kinda torn. I've often quoted Motorhead on here saying "The Chase Is Better Than The Catch" about DBD. The fact he didn't win the Rumble made me so upset that yeah...I don't really care. I'll be completely unbelievably stoked if he wins...and I'll be completely horribly pissed if he loses...but I'll tune in Monday and keep freaking out....I think these last two paragraphs completely contradict but that's how I'm feeling these days.

Wrestling Christmas

The network makes me incredibly happy. It's so easy to use and yes...we can get basically everything elsewhere, but the fact that I was sitting at a bar recently and was able to find Undertaker vs. Hogan I in 30 seconds makes me stoked.
So far they're adding WCCW, Hardcore TV, and Legends Of Wrestling all the time. Legends House hasn't started yet. Everything I've read says they'll be adding tons of stuff throughout the year. They don't own Memphis yet. So far I've watched all of the Legends Of Wrestling and have been watching 1996 PPVs. There is just soooooo much stuff that I can't even fathom getting through it all.

Cheap Heat on Grantland is another great podcast.

I am behind on extracurricular....ROH is still awesome. I think I'm a Romantic Touch Mark. Chris Hero is apparently the Evolve Champ? (I have that event cued) I won't give you DragonGate USA spoilers that I just read accidently. NJPW I'm very slowly working through this year so far. Wrestling hasn't been my girlfriend lately...as I have a real one that completely marked out when DBD was getting the shit kicked out of him by HHH. It was one of the happiest moments one could have with a new girlfriend.

Sad that none of us could get together. I will be watching it at the ladies' house by myself...and I already warned her that I may cry.

Enjoy it guys. Can't wait to hear what you think.


March 27, 2014

SCN: Obligatory March Post

Dear NWO-ites,

It's been a non-active month here at SCW online, but I check the site daily, hoping for a Poncho rant or Rusty Report.  I don't have anything real pertinent to share, but feel nonetheless compelled to leave a blog post here, if for no other reason than to mark the passage of time.

So, wrestling, eh?  Yup.  I haven't watched Smackdown in months, and I'm several weeks behind on NXT.  I've given up on Main Event, and don't even remember if Superstars is still a show.  That being said, I wouldn't think of missing Raw, and it's had some cool highlights lately.

The Shield's face turn has been dope.  They haven't lost their badassness, and I'm glad they still enter through the crowd.  Their characters and promos are cool and their wrestling is super fun to watch.  I'm stoked they're still a trio.

The Authority-Bryan feud has been pretty good.  It's hard to fawn over it too much, since I thought it could have been SO much better, but even though they can't fully redeem themselves for the Rumble debacle, at least they're trying.  HHH has probably been the most fun heel to watch on TV for the past month.


The Lesnar-Taker build has been fun also.  The pen-stabbing will almost surely be the high-water mark, but Heyman's promos are as good of wrestling promos as I've ever heard, especially his opening segment from the Chicago Raw when he came out to Punk's theme, got booed, won the crowd over, then turned on them and got booed all over again.  That was simply magical.

Speaking of Punk, what's up with that?



Also, what's up with the tag division?  A few months ago it was fiery hot, and now there's a Mania tag title match set with no feud whatsoever.  The Rhodes' are having singles matches, WTF?  How can there be so many awesome teams and there be no stories?  How can there be so many singles guys having matches every week with no stories?  How can there be a 3 hour wrestling show with just a few stories going on?  Wrestling stories are the easiest stories to come up with, especially the mid-card ones which aren't expected to draw anyway.  Here's how easy it is to write a mid-card wrestling feud in one minute, ready, go:


You slept with my girlfriend.  You're pants are too tight.  Your haircut is a copy of my haircut.  I'm really smart and you shouldn't be more popular than me.  It's no fair that you won our match so I'm going to attack you all the time.

That was just a minute's worth.  Come on, creative!

Getting back to the good stuff, the Cena-Wyatts feud is cool.  I appreciate how Cena's not doing his corny schtick, he's actually selling the Wyatts being scary.  He'll overcome his fears at Mania and make all the kids happy by defeating the monster, which is a great story, and it's been fun to watch it unfold.  The promos and some of the visuals have been terrific on the part of the Wyatts.

I think that's it for Raw, at least as far as the bigger names go.  Maybe the undercard will get more attention when Mania season subsides.


The Steve Austin podcast is great, I haven't missed very many episodes.  A recent one reminded me of a Rusty Report because his phone started going off, and it wasn't edited out.  Of course, an authentic Rusty Report moment would entail the answering of said phone call on air.  Cabana had a good Podcast the other day with Ricochet, one of my indie faves.  I don't care for Talk is Jericho or the Ross Report, so no further podcast comments.

I'm curious about the WWE Network.  You guys have it, how about a review?  My main questions:

-Does it include non-WWE/WCW/ECW stuff like AWA, Crockett, Stampede, WCCW, or any of the other territories like Georgia, St. Louis, or Memphis?  If so, how much of that stuff is available?

-Does it include Nitro, Thunder, Power Hour, Hardcore TV, FCW (pre-NXT), etc?

-Legends House?  Seen it?

That is all.

And by the way...

I hated the NWO.